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| Yes | 25% | 19 votes | Total: 75 votes | |
| No | 75% | 56 votes |
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Add to FavoritesYes, you should stay married for the children. If you were to give up on your marriage and walk out, what kind of message are you sending your children? You're sending them the message that it's alright to say "til death do us part" but not really mean it. You're showing them there is another option to choosing to work things out, and that's the wrong approach. In this day and age, with so much crumbling around us, the thing we need to be showing our children is that you can't break our marriage. You can take my job, my house, my car, but you will never take the commitment and love my wife and I have for each other.
There are going to be times in your marriage when you don't want to be around each other; that's what walks and the couch are for. If you can't talk it out before you go to sleep, then maybe you should give each other some space. I am by no means recommending a separation; I mean go play some golf or hang out in the garage for a while. When you can't stop yelling at each other, then it's time to be in separate rooms for awhile. It is better to take an hour breather than a life-long separation.
Children are happier when they see both parents on a daily basis. I know for a fact if my wife is late home from work, our eight-month-old knows. She gets genuinely upset if her mom is not home on time. You can't tell me that's not a good reason to keep a marriage together.
If you both live under the same roof, then there is still hope. The success rate for fixing a marriage is much higher for those that never walk out than for those that do and try to come back. If you walk out, there may be some trust issues such as what were they doing and with who while I was gone? Are there going to be any strange phone calls in the middle of the night?
There is nothing too big to fix in marriage. If you want to break the cycle of divorce at your generation, then start by setting a good example for your children. You don't have to have a fairy-tale marriage to love each other, and the important thing is your children will see that. Then they will not try to jump ship at the first big fight with their spouse.
Learn more about this author, Bob Zimmerman.
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No
parents should NOT stay married just for the fact that they have children. When I was younger and living at home, I can remember begging my mom to leave my dad. I was so tired of all the yelling and fighting that was going on inside our home. Looking in from the outside we looked like a happy healthy family, but what really was on the inside was a household that was already divorced. I have very fond memories of doing thing with my father as well as fond memories with my mother, but I can not remember hardly any memories of doing things with both my parents together. It leaves pain inside you that will never go away.
My parents are now divorced. They waited until my brother and I were grown and out of the house. They probably thought they were doing what was best for us, but in the long run, it just left us with the memories of the all the yelling. My mother was a very wonderful mother! She would find the time to make sure we were involved in any activity we wanted. She was at every football game and every cheerleading event with such a proud look on her face. My father was the best father I could have asked for! I was daddy's little girl. Anything I wanted I knew to go to daddy first because he would never turn me down. (Except for that scooter I wanted. He told me over and over, "I will not get you anything with two wheels and a motor.") My dad and I would just ride around and talk about nothing, but it was one of my favorite things to do - just to be with my daddy. I have all these memories with my parents individually, but I can only think of one thing of us all together. Christmas morning was the one thing we all did as a family. My brother and I would always be the first to jump out of bed and race to the living room. The tree was so full of lights and we was so full of joy at the sight of all the gifts wrapped up under the tree. We would all sit around the tree as we opened our gifts. After all the gifts were opened and we tore them out of the boxes and tried on our new clothes, we would all go our seperate ways. My mom, my brother and myself would load up into my mom's mini van with tons of gifts and food and head to my Nanny's house. My dad would stay at home, and that is where my Christmas memories with both my parents end.
I can remember waking up at five in the morning to the arguing over lost keys or a lost belt. I would just lay in my bed cry waiting for it to all stop. My parents never relized we would wake up to thier yelling. They were to busy yelling and putting each other down to relize they had woke us up. We, as parents, should step back an analyze what we are doing to our children. We can make the good memories without the bad. Yes, it will affect our children, but we just need to explain and reinforce that they are loved by both Mom and Dad. Some parents get along better when they are not under the same roof. A divorce does not mean you do not love your children. Sometimes it is the best thing you could do for your child. Parents need to be an example of how to be a parent, and what are we teaching them when all we do is fight, yell, scream and do our separate things. Don't leave your child with the memories of all the screams, cries, and the felling of wanting to hide just so you can say "I am doing it for my kids". "Doing it for the kids" is not always the best even though we may feel it is. It can cause more damage than being raised in a divorced family. I asked my mom to leave my dad when I was about 13 years old, if I had it to do all over I would still do the same.
We have to be an example to our kids of how a "family" should be. It should be a full circle of joy, fun, happy times, and lots and lots of smiles. If that circle is broken then that is what we are teaching them - A broken family. Our children can have the good memories without the bad. That is how it should be; Our marital problems are not our childrens. What are we really doing to our children?
Learn more about this author, Leanne Rudd.
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