Yes

by Eva Chorazak

Created on: May 12, 2010   Last Updated: May 13, 2010

Forgiving your spouse for cheating must be very hard. It would take a lot of courage to put the bad things behind and start your relationship over. You would have to be certain you can forgive your partner fully, otherwise you'll only blame them for what had happened, and that would mean you're never going to be happy together again.

The "process" of forgiving is nearly as painful as finding out you were cheated on and betrayed in the first place. No matter how you had come to realization your partner was having an affair, it broke your heart in half. You thought that the worst nightmare came true and that nothing in the whole world could make you trust your spouse again.

But as the anger and fury found their way out of your system, you got to think about the good times you two had together. You remember your beautiful wedding day and the promise you made to each other. Now, that the promise was broken in the worst of possible ways, you have a chance to see how strong your love really is.

Is it going to make it through the bad times, as well? Is it going to be strong enough to keep your marriage together? If you turn around and walk away you'll never know whether you're a person great enough to even consider forgiving.

But if you do stay and try to work on your relationship you might find out that even though you were betrayed, your love can live through the hard times, as well.

Be sure your partner does not overuse your trust because you might end up being hurt again sooner than you think. Don't go forgiving just because you're married and that seems like the right thing to do.

If you're asked for forgiveness, consider it carefully and remember how badly it hurt when you had realized your spouse had to go somewhere else to look for a bit of excitement and sex that must have been different, not necessarily better, than what you had.

Consider all the circumstances of the situation, imagine yourself in a relationship with your partner in ten years, see if you still might be angry then. If you are, that means you never forgave him/her for what they had done.

But if you see yourself happy with your loved one, you see that your trust was never broken again, there is a huge chance you will be able to rebuild your relationship and one day you'll look and the past with no pain of a broken heart.

Not everyone can forgive. Some cannot face living with their spouse who cheated. For those, walking away is a much better choice. Instead of fighting over it for years, they should start their life over with hope of finding someone who can heal their heart and show them how to love again.

Forgiving is extremely difficult but it is definitely worth it. If you're sure you can live on knowing you were betrayed by someone you love, someone who you'll be with until the rest of your life, someone who kisses you goodnight, that shows trust. Not only towards your partner who begged for your forgiveness, but yourself, too. Because it is yourself who forgave and was supposed to forget about all the bad things, as well. Needless to say, you will never be able to forget what was done to you. But living with that, in the name of love you decided to give another chance, makes you a very brave and great person.

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