Is it okay to snoop in your teen's business?

Yes

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by Deborah Allan

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We all have private things in our lives that we don't want others to know. These things are private for a reason, but if it concerns someone else in our lives, we should tell that person about it. When it comes to parents wanting to know what is going on in their children's lives, I do think that it is ok to snoop into their personal lives.

I don't have children, and maybe if I did, I might feel differently about this. However, it wasn't such a long time ago when I was a teenager. I did things and knew things that I would have never wanted my parents to find out about. But they did some detective work of their own, and I am so glad that they did. Otherwise, I may not have told them very important things that they should have known, although I did not know it at the time.

With the easy access teenagers have to cigarettes, alcohol and drugs today, I think that parents need to be aware that their kids are not perfect, and they can get into some trouble without even thinking of the consequences. It is the parents' main responsibility to protect their children, and they can't be with them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In any family, there are times when a parent may not know what is going on in their kids' social lives, and they have to keep a close eye on these things.

Recently, a friend of mine had contacted me to let me know that her brother had committed suicide. He was just 15 years old, and her and her family were devastated. I asked her if there were any warning signs, and her answer really surprised me. She said that she hadn't noticed anything because she had not seen her brother in six months. She had moved to another city. Her parents, who work 12 hour shifts, also said they did not notice, as they hardly saw him. And when they were all home together, he spent his time in his room. I then asked if there was anything in his room that would have hinted as to why he had taken his own life. She told me that she had found some drugs in a drawer under his bed and a couple of notebooks full of poems he had written, portraying how unhappy he was, how he felt like his parents were not there enough for him, and he had very few friends.

I can't help but wonder, and I hope not to offend any parent who has ever lost a child in a similar way, but is it possible that if his parents had taken time to do a little snooping, would they have found these things sooner, and could they have discussed with him what was going on in his life? Most importantly, could this have been prevented?

I know it is hard to give your children their space, and let them have a little bit of independance, but I think that parents have to be aware of the good and bad things going on in their kids' lives. I hope that someday when I have a teenager I will know what is going on without having to snoop around, but I am confident that if my child and I are not communicating about these things, I know I will have no problem snooping in my kid's room, computer, and so on and so forth.

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