Did 'Sex and the City' have a positive impact on feminism?

No

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by Melissa Miles McCarter

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Tonight was a rainy evening, and I sat on the couch doing some work. I decided to watch a movie and be cozy while doing this, and the one I found on was "Sex and the City" the movie. I watched this movie with my mother when it came out, but hadn't seen it since then. What I was reminded of while watching this movie again is that it is much more heartbreaking than one might think from watching the television shows. It was like watching an emotional train wreck where I couldn't stop looking, but was emotionally wrenching. It was, like Carrie describes herself in the movie, like being a visual cutter, where I kept watching even though it bothered me deeply. What I was watching was a train wreck, with the train itself representing feminism, and the victims of the wreck all the viewers who sought innocent entertainment.

What, you might ask, bothered me so much? I think that the image of these grown women in deliciously drag-like clothes, ogling sexy men (definitely mimicking the perspective of a gay male, not a straight woman), while all of their pain centers around the loss of male affection. The only character whose pain didn't center around a man, was based on the fear of losing a child once finally becoming pregnant-ironically, this pain seemed the most _real_ and it was not treated with the same import as the other fear that the characters experience.

This is not to say that I don't think fear of loss of affection isn't a real experience that shouldn't be shown-just that in every case, the fear was based on a lack of communication. The frustration and anger I felt as the viewer was that the desire to be the woman a man wants, despite the internal consequences of such a choice, leads the woman to sabotage their relationship-and push the man away. It was a perfect example of learned helplessness in women, a lesson that feminism doesn't teach.

What bothered me more than just insecure women going about their business, is the true lack of intimacy presented between men and women, the lack of trust that comes from this intimacy, and the inability to be truly caring of the other-ironically, the women in this movie are presented as victims and as being the wronged party, but the men seem to be the true saps in these situations.

I can imagine the men asking themselves in the face of these women's pain, "What more can I do?" It pained me to watch this movie again and find that I didn't really like these characters, and found them self-pitying and self-indulgent. These women aren't just spoiled with money, clothes, jobs and freedom...they are spoiled with ever-suffering mates who stick by them despite their demands and self-centeredness.

But maybe this movie just shows women as being as selfish and pig-headed that men have always had to privilege to be...the type of feminism this movie promotes is that women have the choice to be jerks too.

This is not to say that I didn't enjoy the movie-I did, in the way that hard candy is enjoyable. I felt the pathos, and felt for the characters, and became in engrossed in the movie, and I wasn't bored. But, like visual eye candy, I had mixed emotions, enjoying it while knowing it isn't healthy. I don't know if I felt this the first time I watched it-I do remember crying-but in re-watching the film, I realized how much feminism faltered in this supposedly pro-female production.

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