Home > Relationships & Family > Marriage & Divorce > Marriage > Marriage Psychology
Results so far:
| Yes | 55% | 370 votes | Total: 678 votes | |
| No | 45% | 308 votes |
Yes
Created on: April 13, 2010
As we mature in our relationships, and often times when we become physically debilitated in some aspects, we sometimes lose the ability to perform and engage in gratifying sexual activity. The mind is there, but the body is not willing nor very cooperative in participation. Where did the passion go? Marital aids may be needed, such as the lovely little blue pill, but where did the passion go? If my lover were to lose their ability to perform sex and become unable to engage in any sexual dalliances at all, that could never make me stop loving that person. If passion here is equal to sex, then I believe you can still have love without passion, and there's no little biue pill for passion; it just occurs and presents itself on the spur of the moment. You can't wait until passion arrives; it's either there or it isn't.
In my former life, I believed in the sacred vows that were proposed and created for a couple within their church or congregation who were to be wed forever and ever, "til death do us part." Forever is such a long time, and our lives are purposely and proposed to be created for enjoyment and peace. Sexual healing is not just a cliche sung by Marvin Gaye, but it is a true art. But because my lover cannot perform regularly with me, or create the passion of the past, I couldn't nor would I every stop loving him. I would hope that we would come to an understanding and a place where this sensitive issue could be hashed out.
The word "debilitate" is described as a weakness or infirmity. In my "New International Webster's Standard Dictionary, this word is in close proximity to the word "debauchery", but that's where the proximity and similarity ends. Debauchery means "excessive indulgence in sensual gratification" and immediately we dwell on images of depravity and lust. It also means to indulge in revelry, which means celebration. I say in the name of love, find a way to revel and debauch until the cows come home. If I weren't able to please my partner, I would only hope that he would take a lover that could please him. If I didn't have the ability to please him the way he wanted to be pleased sexually and passionately, I would offer him suggestions and alternatives, or get us both involved in master-minding some sensual and tactile play. There would be no unfaithfulness nor infidelity to contend with, and less likelihood of suicide pacts in the long run and domestic violence induced murders. Passions are very intense emotions. I believe I can still love and have intense emotion for my partner, and if the tables were turned, I would hope he would feel the same requited passion for me.
Learn more about this author, Cheryl Barnette.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
No
Created on: October 21, 2009 Last Updated: December 10, 2009
Can there be love without passion? By definition, there is no way.
Passion is a deep feeling such as love, hate, rage, mania, sexual desires, and emotions. Because love is such a deep emotional feeling, by definition, love is a form of passion, and therefore, it is impossible for there to be love without passion. It is, however, very possible to have passion without love.
Any couple who has been together for any length of time at all, knows that if you love someone, then you are passionate about any number of issues with that person. You passionately defend them, you will passionately argue with them, you will feel passionate about the things they do, the people they surround themselves with, and passionate about wanting what's best for them. Without this sort of passion, there is no love.
If you are looking at virtually anything you care about at all, such as parents, siblings, children, friends, your country, etc., there is a form of passion involved. Without passion, you are unattached, or simply just don't care.
Have you ever felt rage, felt hate toward things that should have never happened, or had the feeling of euphoria of just looking around you and seeing the good? It's all passion. Have you ever desired something so much you can taste it? You've experienced passion. But love, just like the examples above, is a form of passion. If you have that deep emotional connection, you have passion.
Looking at any couple who has been together for any length of time at all, if we are talking about sexual passion, they will tell you that over the years, there are highs, and there are lows. Does that mean you no longer love each other? No it doesn't. If you love each other with enough passion, then that is enough of to sustain your relationship until the next high point.
Any couple that is relying on sexual passion to hold their relationship together is only fooling themselves. All too often, people confuse sexual desire for passion, and they base their relationship on it. Sexual desire is a form of passion, but is not passion itself. These relationships, in all likelihood, will eventually burn out.
There are also the cases where that sexual high point will never be achieved again. Many people come down with various ailments or diseases that leaves them incapable of ever having sex again. Does not having sexual passion in a relationship mean that that person is no longer lovable? Absolutely not. For these people, there is enough doubt and insecurity to begin with, without worrying if the person they love will no longer love them back. Again, the passion of love is what sustains the relationship.
If you love someone, or something, passion of some sort must exist. If the passion of love does not exist, there is nothing to base the relationship on. While many passionate emotions can exist without love, there is no way for love to exist without passion.
Learn more about this author, Bonnie Meridieth.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.