Whatever happened to chivalry? Is it 'gone with the wind?'

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by L.B. Woodgate

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Chivalry as a concept has probably "gone with the wind" but more appropriately replaced with what most people refer to as manners. Chivalry reflects a time when gentlemen tipped their hats, opened doors and stood as ladies entered and left a room. The most popular historical act of chivalry, though probably more legend than fact, was Sir Walter Raleigh's sacrifice of his cape by covering a mud puddle to prevent Queen Elizabeth I from soiling her shoes.

Acts of chivalry were probably more a reaction to the male/female differences that existed in times past and appear to have been more a part of cultural breeding than some innate drive. Your position in society was more apt to dictate manners toward women than the mere fact that you were a man. Back in the days of Ivanhoe and Victorian England, women were viewed as a the "weaker sex" and the influence of Christianity demanded a certain attitude toward women on the part of the man. Chivalry was a way of paying homage to women without necessarily considering them as social equals

In today's modern world the roles of men and women have changed dramatically and chivalry no longer seems appropriate. Women are grateful but no longer expect to be nurtured my men in ways that makes them appear weak. A recent study shows women now dominate the work market and many men are now the partner that stays home with the kids. With this reversal of roles the notion of chivalry has gone by the wayside and manners is now its contemporary.

The argument could be made that even manners are on the decline and there certainly seems to be ample evidence of this. But courtesy is still around, other than as a model for customer service in businesses. Like chivalry, manners of men towards women can still be seen, especially with males who have positive self-esteem and self-confidence. For those who are not threatened or intimidated by the stronger female personality of today examples of modern day chivalry are exhibited in many forms. Men will retrieve objects women drop from their purse, will pull over to assist them if they're stranded on the road and will still hold a door open for women. They are more apt to go to the defense of a woman when another man is abusing them and will give up their seat on public transportation.

And though today's manners of men towards women are something of a carry-over from the days of chivalry, the attitudes of men and women are different. Men no longer feel compelled and women no longer expect deference to them because of their sex. There is no longer the compulsion to behave a certain way where men are berated for their "unchivalrous" behavior and women do not cast a scornful eye at men for not standing as they leave the room.

Yet there still exists a hint of chivalry in modern times. How long this will last is hard to say. Social and political attitudes are encroaching on cultural norms of behavior. Men who feel threatened by today's woman don't hesitate to chastise and castigate them. If you are viewed as too far right or too far left on the political spectrum there are some men who will devalue you in cruel and unkind ways. Perhaps the most glaring example of this is Rush Limbaugh's use of "feminazi" to describe women who take a pro-choice position toward abortion. Ann Coulter has suffered similar derogatory remarks from some on the left.

As the view of women changes and their roles in society are no longer seen as secondary and inferior, forms of chivalry may become irrelevant. Let's hope common decency and genuine courtesy and manners don't.

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