Is it always easy to treat others as you wish to be treated?

No

1 of 3

by Debbie Todd

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I had always thought it better to treat others as I would wish to be treated and have always followed this path. I have raised two daughters on my own and brought them up to treat others as they would wish to be treated themselves. For many years I was living in rented accommodation (in the UK) and never managed to stay at one address for more than two years or so. I had sixteen addresses in the space of twenty years. Then, nine years ago, I was allocated affordable public housing accommodation. I was absolutely thrilled to get my apartment which, although shabby, was located in a nice area of a village about ten miles from a major city. I moved into the apartment and spent my savings (probably about $8000) on decorating and improving this property. Although the apartment is rented, it is a secure tenancy which I can stay in for the rest of my life. This was the first secure accommodation I had ever had (I was in my forties by now) and I had no hesitation in spending my time and my savings on my home. Over the years that I have been here, I have installed a new kitchen and flooring, decorated throughout and done some minor improvements to make my home more comfortable.

Although this is a first floor apartment, I have a garden at the rear of the property and a balcony outside my kitchen which overlooks the garden. This garden was in a very poor condition, having been left uncultivated for about 20 years prior to my arrival. I spent the first year improving the soil in the garden, digging in manure and conditioning the soil ready for planting the following spring. I would spend time each evening after work (and after cooking for my children), in the dark, digging a row at a time.

The following spring I began to plant into the garden. I planted flower borders and a lawn and filled the garden with shrubs and a couple of trees. I have a silver birch, a magnolia and a fig (which gives a few fruit each year). I dug a pond which became populated with frogs and newts within a few weeks. I have several climbing plants, including roses, jasmine and passion flowers.

Six years ago a man moved into the apartment below mine. I welcomed him to the neighbourhood, although other neighbours in the street were telling me they did not like the look of him. However, within a few weeks, this man began to harass me and I had to resort to complaining to the local authority that owns the properties and rents them to us. Other neighbours also complained about the man, but he seemed to have taken a real dislike to me.

Since then he has stolen from my garden, threatened me, tampered with my car and tried to gain entry to my apartment. The local authority that owns the buildings began a court case to try to evict this person (with myself and another neighbour as their witnesses). However, the man knows the legal system and requested to be relocated during the court hearing which was subsequently dropped. The local authority found new premises for the man which he then turned down. This man still lives in the apartment below mine and has been making my life a misery for the past six years.

I am now off work with stress caused by the situation and facing having to move away from my home (on which I have lavished so much time, money and effort) and I face starting home-building all over again without the savings that I had when I moved into my apartment.

At first, I welcomed this man and treated him as I would wish to be treated myself, only to have him treat me in the most appalling manner. This has changed me in a very fundamental way and I am now having to rethink and replan my future at the age of 51.

I still treat others as I would wish to be treated as I am unable to be nasty - it is not in my nature. However, I have lost all hope and see a bleak future for myself.

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