Yes

by Milton Johanides

Created on: February 20, 2010

It takes practice but in time you can learn to treat others the way you want to be treated. This is one of the principles of Christian faith but even if you are not religious it´s a great way to live. Presumably nobody wants others to be mean to them or to steal from them, or talk about them behind their back. Nobody wants to be cheated on, or lied to. By thinking about the consequences of our behaviour on others, we can learn compassion and consideration.

To turn a selfish nature around and start thinking about others more requires some focus and effort. If you are not used to putting yourself in other´s shoes, stop and think before your next social get together. Before acting ask yourself what it would be like to be the other person, whether it is a partner, a friend or a member of the family. Is there someone in particular who you feel you have mistreated in the past who you would like to make amends to? Put yourself in their shoes? Can you understand why they are upset? If they did the same thing to you, how would you react?

Putting yourself in other people´s shoes is the first step towards learning to treat others with consideration. We spend so much of our time thinking about ourselves and tyring to improve out own lot that this sometimes gets in the way of doing the right thing. Time is a factor in ow we treat each other. If we are hurried, stressed, pressed to meet a deadline, we treat people dismissively. There is no time to stop and think. But finding a quiet time at the end of the day, instead of watching the telly, think about the effect your remarks have had on others.

If you are habitually being let down by friends, told to think less about yourself, or feel that people are not giving you the attention you deserve, then perhaps you need to look at yourself first before criticising them. It may not come naturally to you to think about the consequences of the things you say. Perhaps you think you are just telling the truth, but remember that sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes judicial pruning of the truth is required to protect people´s feelings. The next time you get the cold shoulder, why not ask what the problem is and see if you can´t get someone to give you an honest opinion about how you can improve your attitude towards others.

It is easy to turn your attitude around if you want to and if you give it time and patience. It´s a great relief when you begin to see your own faults the way others see them. Then you can start doing something about it.  

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