Does a bias exist against stay-at-home mothers?

Yes

1 of 1

by Pam Prowse

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I caught up with a friend of mine a few weeks ago, who just so happens to be a stay at home mother. We were having a conversation very similar to this one, and we both came to the conclusion that a bias does exist against stay at home mothers. She was telling me that she had received a phone call from a close friend of hers, who does not have any children, but does have a great career and loves her life. What ensued in the days events was astonishing.

My friend, let's call her Jane, had awoke that morning to her normal routine. Her 6 year old was sick, so he had to stay home from school, and she also had a 2 year old to tend to. While in the middle of finishing the breakfast dishes, keeping her 2 year old away from the toilet, because he loved to play with water, and the bellows of a sick child who had thrown up twice, she also had a load of laundry in the washer, one in the dryer, and one ready to be put away. The dog was missing so she had to call the pound and print out flyers. There was company coming for supper, so she had to decide what to make for dinner, and she had to finish painting in the living room. I made a comment that she needed to slow down, but she smiled and said it was a rather slow day.

At around noon, her childless friend, lets call her Mindy, called Jane, and asked if she wanted to grab a coffee, as it was Mindy's day off. Jane would have loved to go, but she did not have anyone to watch her youngest child, and with her oldest still not feeling well, she told Mindy that she just had too much to do and to call her again another time.

Later that night, while clipping coupons and checking her e-mails, Mindy sent Jane an e-mail, and it went something like this...

"Dear Jane,

I found your behaviour quite rude today, when I called to ask if you wished to join me for a coffee. I don't understand why you people think your lives are so much busier than us singles as we too have things to do around our houses. I have to wash dishes, do my laundry and dust as well. If you can't make time for me then go back to watching your soap operas and eating Cheeto's. Seriously, your life is so dull.

Misty"

Now, I really did laugh when I heard what Misty had written, but it was Jane's response that got me. Sit down, its a good one.

"Dear Misty,

I apologize for any wrong doings. Maybe you are right, I should lay off the soap operas. Can you tell me, are Bo and Hope still together, you know from Days of Our Lives, cause I haven't seen it since Chase was born, six years ago. Yes I under stand that you have to do dishes, but do you also have to wash sippy cups or clean your high chair? Oh, and when you finish your one load of laundry a week, maybe you can come help me with my three loads a day. Also, dust? Seriously? I don't remember the last time I took pleasure in dusting, it's never been an issue with all the toys and mail and crafts all over my counter, mantle and hutch. I guess I should be more considerate of your feelings, being all alone, I wish I had some time alone, so why don't you and I switch places for a day, then tell me I'm inconsiderate. Call me when you have your first kid, then we'll talk.

Jane"

So, to answer your question, does a bias exist against stay at home mothers, then the answer is most definitely yes. If you do not have children, and you work out side of the home, chances are you think that stay at home mothers have it easy, but in actuality, that is a job that never ends. It is 24\7 and no vacation, no pension, and no one to fill in if you are sick. I myself do not have kids, and I feel sometimes like my day never ends, with laundry, and cleaning and just normal everyday things, but when I see my friends and family members with kids, and see how busy they are and how little "me" time they get, then I say Kudos to stay at home moms, they get too little credit for the huge jobs they do every day all day. I know I couldn't do my job for 24 hours a day seven days a week, but moms do and they never complain. If we were as dedicated to our jobs as these mothers are, just imagine how much we could accomplish. Bravo mothers. Bravo!

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