Is every woman meant to become a mother?

No

1 of 1

by Pam Prowse

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The definition of mother is very wide. Some say that a mother is someone who gives birth to a child. Others say it is a woman who raises a child, regardless if she gave birth to it or not. Others define it as simply a female parent. But, is every woman meant to be a parent? I don't think so, and my mother is a prime example.

My mother was a teenager when I was born, and from the moment I was brought home from the hospital, right until this very moment, and most likely for the rest of my life, this woman was not my parent. The excuse during my early years was that she, herself, was still a child. We lived with her parents, and until I was four years old, my mother lived in the same house, but did not take on any of the responsibilities of raising me. Between my grandparents and my mother's siblings, I was well taken care of.

When I was four, my mother moved in with her boyfriend, not my father by the way. She decided to give me up for adoption, until my grandparents stepped in and took custody of me. From that moment on, my mother was my sister. She called me once a day, and I went to visit her once a week, on Sunday afternoons. And that was the extension of our mother\daughter relationship.

My birth mother did not baby sit me, she did not visit me when I was sick, she did not pick me up from school, she did not pay for medicine, she did not buy my school clothes, and she was not the one I went to for advice, as our relationship was not a very strong one. I love my birth mother, but I can't say that she fit any of the criteria that makes up the ideals of what a mother should be.

Now, let me tell you about my "Mom". My grandmother, the woman that raised me from birth, clothed me, fed me, comforted me, went without for me, treated me like her own while she still had children only 2 and 6 years older than me. She never treated me unfairly, she never picked her biological children over me, and I am and always will be her baby. This woman, who had given birth to six children, had taken me under her wing, and made me the person that I am today. Do I ever wish my birth mother had taken care of me? No, never. I have always known that my birth mother was never meant to be a mother, because she is a selfish person, who's only concern is herself and her own well being, and the pressures of having children overwhelm her, and many like her.

I don't agree that every woman is meant to be a mother, just because they have the ability to produce children. We are all different, and saying the opposite is like saying everyone is meant to be a piano player because we have fingers.

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