No

by Jane Daniels

Created on: January 15, 2011

Is Divorce Acceptable to God? It is "permissible" in certain circumstances but it is never "acceptable" to the one who created marriage as an unbreakable bond.
The scriptures leave us in no doubt about how God feels about divorce.

“You people must guard yourselves respecting your spirit, and with the wife of your youth may no one deal treacherously. For he [God] has hated a divorcing.” (Malachi 2:15, 16)

It is apparent that God does not like divorce....in fact he said that he "hates" it.

When the religious leaders of Jesus' day asked him , "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on every sort of ground?”, he told them: “Did you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’? So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart.” (Matthew 19:4-6)

Jesus echoed his Father's sentiments that a man should stick to his wife. He sees a married couple as one entity, 'one flesh'....the beginning of a new family unit.

Children were meant to be raised by the people who caused their birth. A committed family arrangement was designed to provide security and balance as the children grew to maturity. It is a child's right to be raised by their own mother and father in a united family if at all possible.
It has been said that 'the greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother'. That is so true. It is a role model that will be reflected in the child's own attitude towards marriage and their sense of "family".
A boy's relationship with his mother and a girl's relationship with her father mould their thinking for the choice that they themselves will make when seeking a marriage mate. The model that you leave for your children will be reflected...for good or for bad.

That being said, the Bible also says that God permits divorce but on only one ground. Jesus' words reveal what that ground is that God recognises as the only reason to dissolve a marriage.

“Moses, out of regard for your hardheartedness, made the concession to you of divorcing your wives, but such has not been the case from the beginning. I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:7-9)
It is evident from this scriptures that neither God nor his Son takes the violation of God’s laws on marriage and divorce, lightly.
Divorce tears apart what God has 'yoked' together. He views marriage as a lifetime commitment. It involves vows, which God takes seriously, even if the parties seeking the divorce do not. A 'treacherous heart' will have its way. (Jeremiah 17:9, 10)

No one forces a person to take a vow, they are entirely voluntary. However, once a man made a vow in Israel, payment was compulsory under God's law.
A vow was spoken of as being ‘bound upon his soul,’meaning that his very life became surety for the keeping of his word. (Numbers 30:2;  Romans 1:31, 32.) Since his life was at stake, it is understandable why the Bible urges us to exercise extreme caution before making a vow, carefully considering the obligations before making the commitment.

The Law stated: “In case you vow a vow to the LORD . . . God will without fail require it of you, and it would indeed become a sin on your part. But in case you omit making a vow, it will not become a sin on your part.” (Deuteronomy 23:21, 22)

Solomon's words at Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 reinforce the seriousness of the commitment we make. He said,  “What you vow, pay. Better is it that you vow not than that you vow and do not pay. Do not allow your mouth to cause your flesh to sin, neither say before the angel that it was a mistake."

If we cannot follow through on the commitment, we should not make it. Saying you made a 'mistake', even before an angel, is not a valid basis for dissolving a marriage.

When we make a marriage vow before God "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health....till death do us part" it doesn't mean we can bail out on our partner at the first sign of trouble. Even if we alter the vows to omit theses things, we still have an arrangement that has an unstated level of commitment with no 'exit clause' except for the breaking of the bond in adultery; becoming one flesh with someone else.
In God's law to Israel, adultery carried the death penalty, so either way, the marriage was over.

There was obviously good reasons for a couple to make a commitment to each other in the beginning. God gives us all the advice we need in his word. We can mend relationships that have become strained. We can rediscover the love we had at first if we have a determination to make sacrifices to achieve it. God's will has to take precedence over our own. Knowing that there is no "exit" clause in this agreement will help us to find ways to fix the problems rather than abandon the arrangement with a bad conscience. If both parties see the seriousness of preserving the marriage, they will follow the Bible's counsel.

There are only two grounds to end a marriage....fornicat ion (adultery or any other sexual sin) or death. These two grounds alone free the innocent party to remarry. As much as we do not want to admit it, Jesus said that to dissolve a marriage on any other ground and marry another, is to commit adultery in the eyes of God.

In today's 'throw away' society, many will discard a mate for the flimsiest of reasons. The majority of modern marriages end in divorce, leaving children always torn between families. Blended families do not often work and stress and conflict are common. This often puts extra strain on the new marriage, leading to a second abandonment. Sometimes it's better to work with "the devil you know".

Divorce on 'any sort of ground' has become acceptable to man, but it is not acceptable to a God who does not change his standards to suit wayward or selfish humans.

Like it or not, marriage is God's arrangement. He has the right to dictate the rules. Those who care about what he thinks, will do all in their power to heal any rift with their marriage mate and avoid breaking that precious vow to God.

Learn more about this author, Jane Daniels.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.