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| Yes | 78% | 39 votes | Total: 50 votes | |
| No | 22% | 11 votes |
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Add to Favorites"Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them", says W. Clement Stone. Humans need people, called "friends", to associate and to share our life experiences with. They influence us in as much as we influence them; however, we occasionally associate with people, may it be our friends, officemates or family members, who seem to have their paradigms inclined to the negative side. They tend to drag us down and cloud our outlook with their negative energy and suck all our positive thoughts dry. We want to reach out to them and reinvent the way they see life but we have yet to break down that barrier which is whether or not we should let them know they are being so negative?
As a person who cares, it is significant that you let him know about it; of course, how the message is delivered matters. Sometimes, how it is passed across makes a difference more than the message itself. Impart it to the person concerned in a way not offensive for him not to get defensive. Show him that this act is carried out of your genuine concern for him and you are not trying to shun his opinion. Focus on the deed and never get personal with him. Lend him your listening ear and ask him to elaborate his view. Let him know your say and really discover something positive in any given situation. Whatever you do, do not get into argument with a negative person for it will just fuel the fire.
Do not always expect a happy ending; negativity can become a habit that he may never fold but at least you made an effort and you stood by your positivity. Once you made him aware about it, there is a tendency that he will fight you if you try to change him; bail out if necessary. To emotionally detach from a negative person does you a favor; and the person too. It is better for both of you to 'agree to disagree' than to risk your own mental and physical health.
Go out with people who have a positive outlook of things. Listen to songs that promote love and peace, not those that encourage rage and hate. Be thankful and always count your blessings. Appreciate your work and others' accomplishments. You need to have your negative thoughts in check for we at times digress, make sure you always end up going back to the home team, to positivity that is.
Learn more about this author, Vic Ryan Agot.
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No
It can get annoying to be around someone who's negative all the time, even if it's someone you care about. It's not that you don't sympathize with what they're dealing with. It's not that you don't care about their problems, but after a while you just don't want to hear it anymore. As frustrating as it can be, it's best to just be patient.
If you're dealing with someone who's constantly being negative, there are a few things you should think about before trying to decide whether or not you want to say something about it.
First of all, how are they being negative? What exactly are they doing that's bothering you? Sometimes, someone doesn't have to talk about depressing things all the time for their negative attitude to bother other people. If it's an issue with what the person talks about, pay attention to what the other person is actually saying. Are they really being unnecessarily negative, or are you being too sensitive to what they're talking about? If it's the way they're behaving, think about what it could mean. Does this person just have a bad attitude, or are they dealing with something that's really bothering them?
Secondly, try to view things from the other person's perspective. You know what they're doing that's bothering you. Does the other person? Also, think about the motives of the other person. Do they realize how negative they're being? Sometimes it's a good thing to let a friend know they're being too negative. People don't always realize it themselves.
The reason I don't recommend telling someone they're being negative is because I've been hurt by it. I've struggled for the past few years with an illness that causes me lots of pain. The doctors didn't know what was wrong with me, we didn't have health insurance, I worried that we wouldn't be able to find a treatment that worked, and no one seemed to have any idea what I was going through. It's almost impossible to face all that and not get depressed.
I got so tired of people telling me I needed to focus on the positive more. I knew that it was a good thing to have a positive attitude and a positive outlook, but the people who kept telling me that had never been through what I was going through. Smiling and pretending to be happy didn't stop the pain. And pretending to be happy isn't the same as having a positive attitude. If someone constantly focuses on the negative and they never seem to be happy, they're probably depressed and dealing with something they don't know how to handle. Be sensitive to what they might be going through.
A depressed person should never be given a lecture on their attitude. They're already hurting enough. Don't tell someone they need to change they're attitude unless you're sure that they're not just upset over something. If someone's constantly complaining about little things and seems entirely ungrateful for the things they have, that's a bad attitude. Being unhappy because of hard times is life, and telling someone like that they have a negative attitude is just deepening a wound.
Learn more about this author, Ann Caimen.
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