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| Yes | 85% | 86 votes | Total: 101 votes | |
| No | 15% | 15 votes |
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Add to FavoritesBirthday Etiquette 101
Traditionally, children have always opened their birthday gifts in front of guests. There is play-time and then cake-time and finally gift-opening-time. It not only makes the child feel special but also acknowledges the gift giver as well. It is a win-win situation.
It is a time of allowing the birthday girl or boy to be honored with their birthday presents. It somehow connects the gift giver to the birthday child which enhances the relationship whether from a family member or friend. Often, at our birthday celebrations we go as far as reading each birthday card aloud as well. I have seen glistening in the eyes of the child who reads a card that celebrates their life and tells them how special, cared about and loved they are.
Apparently, the Birthday etiquette is changing as we as a society become more competitive with our gift giving thus the new rule to let kids open the gifts after the guests leave. The sad reality to this method is that it depersonalizes the birthday celebration and the child makes no connection to the guest like they would in their presence. It seems that it actually deprives the child of the excitement that their entitled to as everyone cheers on about the gifts. This leaves the guest who brought the gift out of this wonderful celebratory exercise. This does not sound very courteous.
I have heard some say that the reason this new method of opening gifts after the guests leave is to minimize the hard feelings that may come if someone could not give a gift monetarily comparable to another. This is quite silly when you think about it. I mean you give what you can and for the most part children are happy to receive anything as a gift.
When this mentality is considered, perhaps it isn't to protect the gift giver at all. Maybe, it is because a child has become selfish and the parent doesn't want the child to react poorly in front of the guests? Hmm. What do you think?
It's one thing if you can't make the party and you must send a gift or card in the mail but as a guest if you are at the celebration then part of the joy is watching the birthday child open the gifts in your presence. It should be a time of celebration for all to participate.
Learn more about this author, Jeannette Rodgers.
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No
Children's parties are a good way for training them in how to interact in social occasions. This is a great opportunity for them to spend time with other kids in a cheerful setting. Children can learn a lot during these situations in social and personal aspects. But, let's not forget that it's also important to consider what ideas we are instilling in their young minds during such events.
Most children now think that they're birthday celebrations have to be about 'me' and what 'I' want, which is a good thing for their individuality, but it really shouldn't be an opportunity for dictatorship. We should start working more on encouraging appreciation among children. Appreciation for reaching such wonderful milestones and appreciation of the people whom you've shared those moments with.
Putting other kids gift-giving skills in the spotlight can be a stressful situation for young kids. Since kids are very open about their feelings, they can spurn rejections on well-intentioned guests. In place of this activity, why don't we demonstrate to kids a better way of showing their gratitude by writing thank-you notes to guests or, if they're eloquent enough, say thank you to their guests on their way out.
Another important matter to think of is the consideration of other children's circumstances and tendencies. Guests who have an attention span of minutes equivalent to their age can be hard to control. They can have tantrums or wander around the place during gift openings which might be considered rude to the celebrant. Let's not put kids in situations that set them up for failure. After the games and the food, I'm not sure if their not too tired or too wired to hold still for more than 10 minutes. Consider how much time a gift-opening would take and if kids can actually stay put in that amount of time.
I believe we should encourage a more giving attitude in children wherein they share their high points and successes with others. If the purpose of this gift-opening tradition is to train kids to appreciate their celebrated peers and control envy towards their good fortune, I'm not quite sure if there's been evidence yet of its effectiveness. If anything, it has a danger of encouraging materialism among children since they're focusing more on the gifts instead of the giver. After all, it's the thought that counts, right? We can tell kids all the lessons that we want them to know, but in the end it's our actions that they will ultimately follow.
Learn more about this author, Melissa Raissa.
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