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RSS FeedToddler leashes: Good or bad idea?
Results so far:
| Good idea | 52% | 114 votes | Total: 219 votes | |
| Bad idea | 48% | 105 votes |
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Add to FavoritesChild safety leashes have come a long way since they first hit the market. Plain nylon leashes that simply looped around the wrists have been replaced with elaborate harness style leashes, complete with a cute backpack for storage.
Despite these advances, the controversy over toddler leashes is still going strong. There are 3 common arguments against the use of child safety leashes, none of them valid.
* A leash/harness is confining and doesn't allow my child to learn independence.
Many parents who scoff at the idea of using a toddler leash think nothing of strapping their little one into a stroller. A stroller is infinitely more confining than a harness, as the stroller forces your child to sit in one spot for the duration of a trip and partially blocks their view of the world around them. A harness or leash allows the child the freedom to walk and explore within a safe distance of their parents.
You could instead choose to hold your toddler's hand the entire time you're out, but you'll have to keep an uncomfortably firm grip to prevent him from bolting and slipping out of your grasp in the blink of an eye, and the tall parent hazards back pain from bending sideways to reach a tiny person. This is only a good option for short trips, not a marathon day of back to school shopping with an older child and an excitable toddler.
A leash provides the peace of mind that your child is not able to escape your grasp, but lets your toddler feel like a big kid who can walk on his own. Opponents to leashes claim that children who are leashed will never learn to stay near their parents without the leash, but this is untrue. A leash or harness, if used as a teaching tool, can actually help reinforce the message that children are not allowed to wander off by themselves.
As an added bonus, the toddler who is still shaky on his feet can walk with a harness, because mom or dad can simply take up slack to prevent Junior from face planting on concrete if he trips.
* You're treating your child like a dog!
I care about my dog's safety, so I use a leash or harness to keep my dog out of danger. The same can be said for my toddler.
According to studies conducted by Stanley Coren of the University of British Columbia, my dog and my two-year old have about the same level of cognition. Neither can fully understand the danger of darting into the street or wandering away from me in a crowded place, so the responsibility to keep them safe lies with me, whether as a responsible dog owner or a responsible parent.
There is nothing degrading about the fact that I love my child and want to keep him as safe as possible!
* Only lazy parents use child safety harnesses.
Lazy parents will always exist, and some of them may use leashes or harnesses, but using a toddler leash does not automatically make you a lazy parent. Responsible parents don't choose to use a leash so they can ignore their child, they opt for the leash to prevent their toddler from slipping out of sight in the blink of an eye.
Parents can't spend every waking moment watching their kids like a hawk, no matter how hard they may try. A momentarily distracted parent with a leash can rest assured that their toddler will still be there when they turn around.
Ask the parents of 2-year old James Bulger, who was abducted and murdered when he was separated from his mother in a shopping mall, whether they feel that child safety harnesses are a sign of lazy parenting or proof of a safety conscious family.
Learn more about this author, Joanna Wood.
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Bad idea
The name says it all...toddler "leashes." They also sport more politically correct monikers...like "harness buddies." Manufacturers may attempt to make these devices more appealing by covering them in fur, putting adorable animal faces on the back, and naming them in darling ways...but make no mistake. A leash is a leash, monkey face or not. And in utilizing a leash on children, parents may inadvertently communicate to the general public that their kids are best handled like animals.
Basically, well-intentioned parents are attaching a long tether to their wandering, bumbling, adorable toddlers and hoping that the extra cord of connection will allow them to reel their offspring back in when danger is afoot. More than likely, however, the leash itself will work as a tripping hazard to the child and other passersby as well. Often I feel these leashes promise a false sense of freedom to the child, who actually may become irate at being within a hair's reach of something appealing and then being jerked away in the nick of time. A lot of headache can be avoided altogether by using a stroller in dicey walking situations. Do I believe parents use child leashes in any way to purposely degrade or humiliate their kids? No. They are hoping to satisfy Junior's wanderlust and keep some semblance of sanity on their part too. But I'd wager Junior wouldn't like to discover any snapshots of being "walked" around the mall like Fido in his glory days either.
Personally, I am of the opinion that children can be safely monitored with a parent walking nearby. If the child wants to wander and is doing so unsafely, a natural consequence would be to talk to the child, redirect to a safer area to explore, or warn the child that wandering will result in stroller time or having to hold mom or dad's hand. Then, as a parent, stick to that plan, regardless of how much displeasure your child conveys. And be ready for some displeasure! Children who are learning to walk are also asserting their independence in other areas such as eating, dressing, and sleeping. Parents should realize that some oppostion is normal, but setting limits is necessary, and best done early on. Consequences teach, and eventually the same child who uses a leash as a toddler must learn to explore the world safely and without running away from mom or dad. Having seen older children STILL attached to those ubiquitous "monkeys" on their backs time and again, and looking miserable to boot, I think the better time to learn some autonomy is when the child is much younger and easily lifted! Tantrums are much shorter with an angry two year-old than an angry, strong, and confused five year-old who has never been taught to amble otherwise.
Everyone feels their children act like little animals from time to time. Children can seem unpredictable and can quickly get into trouble. But teaching boundaries early and consistently is essential, and toddler leashes postpone those lessons that are best learned early. The world is a big place. There's a lot of things, good and bad, that children will discover in their wandering. Wouldn't you rather a child reach for a warm hand rather than a long rope when he loses his way?
Learn more about this author, Meredith Devereaux.
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