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Are parents justified in pressuring their teenage children to get a college education?
Are parents justified in pressuring their teenage children to get a college education?
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| Yes | 67% | 284 votes | Total: 424 votes | |
| No | 33% | 140 votes |
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Whether or not parents are justified in pressuring their children to obtain a college education has much to do with the definition of pressuring. Guiding, mentoring, suggesting, and explaining are much better ways to get results when dealing with teenagers.
Presumably, if a college education is important to parents, they begin laying the groundwork from an early age. Elementary school is certainly not too early to begin dropping phrases such as when you go to college or perhaps even asking the occasional question: What do you think you might like to study in college? These small conversational gestures will go a long way towards the child developing a sense of when, as opposed to if.
In this manner, there is no pressure, only simple expectation.
As kids develop and mature, they will be exposed to more choices and more possibilities; some may decide that the world of work beckons more loudly, especially if they have been working part-time throughout high school.
Teenagers with jobs often succumb to the lure of cash and grossly underestimate the amount needed to survive, or even thrive, in today's world. They look at the benefits of being independent but fail to recognize the pitfalls, especially the advantages of education. Many, if not most, are somewhat burned out from the previous twelve years of schooling and wish to see the world or obtain practical experience before heading off to college. What most do not realize because, after all, teenagers are indestructible and impervious to negative things which influence the lives of others, is that once postponed, college is requently delayed for many years.
Of course parents are justified in pushing for a college education - teenagers are still kids, and kids have parents for a reason: Because kids lack the maturity and experience to make the best decisions. This does not mean that parents should force a college education; that is counter-productive as it goes back to the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." Parents can insist their teen go to college, but they cannot absolutely compel that teen to study or attend class.
The teen years are a time of transition from child to adult; some decisions must be left to the child so he may become an adult - and sometimes this includes consequences that parents would rather their child not experience. These consequences are, however, necessary for the child's growth and maturation.
A teen must not be left to flounder, and the proper means must be given to ensure success in the college experience: Information, encouragement, openness, and listening are all things a parent must do. A teen will respond better to gentle nudging and suggestion, but a parent must be prepared to step in with help - not to take over, not to do things for the teen, but to help him on the road to independence by teaching him how to apply for admission, aid, testing, and so forth.
Beginning during the elementary years to expect a child to attend college, and continuing throughout the teen years with that same anticipation, is the best way to increase the odds of a child's college attendance - while, at the same time, giving them the tools they need to make their decision. There is no real matter of pressure, but one of guiding and leading. Parents may indeed pressure their child to attend college, knowing the results of a lack of education, but their efforts will likely fall far short of their expectations.
Learn more about this author, Robin Tidwell.
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No
Children should not be pressured to go to college-or "pressured" to do anything, for that matter; the term pressuring conjures up visions of heavy-handed parents, pushing their child to always be the best, stage-parents insisting a child try out for a part after they just threw up back stage, or farm parents forbidding a child to take classes or jobs outside the agricultural area. College is not for everyone; wise parents encourage children to excel by praising their efforts, listening to their needs, and presenting a variety of information on career choices within that child's ability.
Academics are a very specialized area that, in recent years, has tended to develop into its own industry-i.e., students enrolling in academics in order to teach other academicians. In itself, this is not a bad thing; teaching is a skill, like any other, and is best taught by other teachers. Research, librarianship-all the permutations of academic applications do have their place-but not all academic skills translate into real-world skills, and not all positions that require college degrees evolve into high-paying jobs. This is not to say no one should train for those positions; many of these areas hold great potential for personal satisfaction and occupational enjoyment.
Not every student has the aptitude or inclination for academia-nor is it the only game in town. Trade schools, businesses with a tradition of on-the-job-training, and other specialized types of schools may provide better options for some students. Still others may, of necessity, need to be directed toward sheltered workshops and other specialized situations.
It is unfortunate that our society has begun to place such high emphasis on so-called higher learning. Not everyone is suited for a desk, cubicle or classroom. In spite of mechanization, there is still a place for skilled waiters, cooks, drivers, laborers and maintenance workers. If every child in our school system today were to obtain doctorates, we would have too many doctors to fill the available jobs at that level of accreditation. The result would be many disgruntled and unhappy Ph.D.s sweeping floors and flipping burgers, coping with the burden of student loans that match their intended profession rather than their actual one. (There are probably quite a few of them already.)
Perhaps a better goal would be to set aside a nest egg for helping youngsters get a start in whatever life they choose for themselves. Provide a good example as a parent, of doing the best job possible of whatever work is at hand. Read aloud to your children; love of good books can provide hours of repeatable enjoyment at low cost. Give opportunities to experiment with different kinds of occupations. Teach your child how to handle money and how to make meaningful decisions about life events. Above all, let your child know you are proud of him or her. Your confidence and trust in your child's ability to make good decisions is probably the best support you can give regardless of the path chosen.
Learn more about this author, Daisy Peasblossom.
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