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Are parents justified in pressuring their teenage children to get a college education?
Are parents justified in pressuring their teenage children to get a college education?
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| Yes | 67% | 284 votes | Total: 424 votes | |
| No | 33% | 140 votes |
Yes
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Pressuring a child into getting a college education can backfire tremendously on a parent. After all, it's human nature to rebel when we are being forced to do something, whether we want to do it or not. A child on the edge of adulthood will more than likely spite a parent if they feel they're being pressured into something without it being their own decision.
Kids want to be independent, especially when they are in their last years of high school. The thoughts and decisions of the 'after-life' is constantly the topic of discussion. Most kids are dying to spread their wings and fly away. After all, isn't that what we've prepared them for? So, do you pressure them to go to a secondary school or keep quiet?
The majority says pressure them. IA better way to look at it would be not to 'pressure' them, but to guide, direct, and/or advise. Pressuring a person gives an ugly connotation. After all, don't we as parents, from infancy until the time our children leave home, constantly train our kids not to give in to 'peer' pressure or pressure from others wanting to lead us astray? Doesn't it send an opposing message to them when we now get in their face and tell them what we think is best? So, yes, let's 'pressure' them, but let's do it in a constructive way.
For example, give them examples of why further education is important - advancement, higher pay, more opportunities, etc. Always communicate the positives while maintaining an attitude where, ultimately, it is their choice.
Guide them with wisdom. Give them real life stories of the difference a college education has made in your life versus someone you know who didn't have one and why it's so important. Maybe you're the one who didn't have the college degree. Have you struggled in your position with promotions against a younger college grad? Share your experiences.
Many people who aren't religious are still familiar with the verse, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Training does not imply pressure, but the ability to really know our children - their strengths and weakness. It implies encouraging them in what they're gifted at - good at - not what we want them to be or to make a lifelong career doing something they most likely will be miserable doing. It implies wanting the best for our children - wanting to train them in their giftedness and leaving our unfulfilled dreams and expectations of them at the door. How well do you know your child? What do they love in life? What is their passion? What gets them excited and fired up? Train them in that direction and they'll long to go to school without the pressure from a concerned parent (who they may end up resenting).
Be ready to face the fact that your child may actually not want to go. How will you respond? Don't be shocked and don't over react. Some kids weren't born to attend school sixteen plus years in a row. Some have a difficult time getting through the first day of kindergarten. Sometimes when they graduate from high school, they need a year off. This will have to be evaluated on an individual basis. What are their reasons for not wanting to go and are they legitimate? What other opportunity awaits them that seems more important than a college degree? It will be different for each person, so let them speak.
If you want their respect, respect them and their opinions and desires. They are teetering on the edge of independence and while they are still on your watch, they are wanting and needing to make their own decisions. Give them input, give them wise counsel, steer them toward their gifts (gentle pressure, you could say), but ultimately the decision must be theirs.
Learn more about this author, Sherri Woodbridge.
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No
At first glance, parents would appear completely justified in pressuring their teenage children to get a college education. In fact, there are many who would consider a parent who does not apply this pressure to their children to be derelict in their duties. This view is unfortunately shortsighted and does not take into consideration the individual circumstances of each child and the possible negative impacts of such pressure.
The first and perhaps most obvious reason why parents are not justified in pressuring their teenage children into getting a college education is because college is not for everyone. I know that many people will disagree with this argument, but college is considered "higher education" for a reason. While college offers many benefits and there are several good reasons for attending, there are also several good reasons not to attend. Many people are simply not interested in pursuing a career that requires a college degree. There are also individuals who do not learn well in a classroom environment. We live in a society that has taught us that the definition of success involves obtaining a college education and then making large sums of money or climbing high up some corporate ladder, but there are many Americans who know that true success is determined by much more simple measures.
The second reason why such pressure from parents is not justified is because an education obtained because of pressure is never appreciated as much as an education obtained from desire. One of the things that I always found interesting in my college classes was the fact that the older participants almost always payed closer attention in class than the younger ones. The reason for this phenomenon? The older students were there because they wanted to be there, and most of the younger students were there because that was what they thought (or were told) that they should be doing. As a result of this difference in attitudes, the older students almost always got more out of the class than the younger ones.
Another point not frequently considered is the law of supply and demand and it's relation to the value of a degree. If everyone has a degree, then the value of a degree as a distinguishing factor for possible employment or promotion is gone. Of course, there is always the intrinsic value of actually earning the degree; but as stated previously, this will be very small for those who have been pressured into obtaining their higher education.
Finally, many people simply do not know what they want to do with their lives at this age. Why should teenagers and parents spend the money, or make the long term commitment to debt, for an education based on such uncertainty? The time and funding required to make a college degree a reality can quickly become an unwanted burden if the education is not appreciated or utilized. Investments of this magnitude ought to be made carefully and with much consideration.
I believe that parents are responsible for teaching their children to make good decisions and for building within them solid character. I also recognize that there are times when parents will need to pressure their children into doing the right thing. That being said, college is not right for everyone, and pressuring your teenager to obtain a college degree carries the potential of being detrimental for your teenager, for yourself, and even for society in general.
Learn more about this author, Aaron Wagner.
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Difference of opinion? Debate now.
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