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Is it responsible for a parent to let a 12-year-old child ride the NYC subway alone?

 

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Results so far:

Yes
34% 128 votes Total: 380 votes
No
66% 252 votes
Yes

Yes, I do think it's responsible for a parent to allow a 12-year-old child ride the New York City subway alone. Too many of today's kids are growing up ridiculously overprotected by helicopter parents that don't let them experience life. This phenomenon seems to have evolved in the past twenty years or so and it's rapidly turning America's children into anxiety ridden wimps.

A couple of years ago, Lenore Skenazy, author of the blog "Free Range Kids", attracted media attention when she let her 9 year old son ride the New York City subway alone. A lot of people claimed Skenazy was negligent for making that decision, even though the boy got through the experience without a scratch on him and came home exhilarated. Obviously, at 9 years old, Skenazy's son knew how to navigate the subway system and stay out of trouble. He proved that he's independent enough to get around on his own, even if other people think he's too young for the privilege.

I think the media is a big reason why we have so many anxious parents these days. Many of today's parents grew up in a less restrictive, more innocent environment. While some may mourn the loss of that freedom, the general consensus seems to be that the world is a lot more dangerous than it was just twenty years ago. But is it, really? Or are we just watching the news a lot more than we used to?

When I was growing up, there was no Internet and, while CNN existed, it wasn't beamed into every household in the neighborhood. My parents got their news from a daily newspaper and the 6:00 and 11:00 local broadcasts. While children of my generation may have been in plenty of danger, parents didn't hear so much about those dangers because a 24 hour news supply wasn't as readily available as it is today. Consequently, the world may have appeared to be much safer back then than it is in 2009.

Today's kids and their parents have to contend with a constant barrage of news reports about kids who get abducted, molested, killed, or injured in freak accidents. But I think a lot of people forget that there's a well known adage in the world of journalism... "if it bleeds, it leads." And we're hearing about these cases because they are unusual, not because they happen frequently. Indeed, according to this 2005 article by USA Today, sex crimes against children have been declining over the past ten years, despite the fact that there have been several high profile cases. Of course, those high profile cases have also led to new laws and, perhaps, a new layer of anxiety for parents.

I understand why many Americans would be reluctant to let a 12 year old ride the subway alone in any city, let alone New York. However, the fact is that kids around the world are exposed to dangers that most American kids could not even fathom. The vast majority of them manage to survive until adulthood anyway.

I think if Lenore Skenazy's 9 year old son can ride the subway alone, a 12 year old should be able to do it too. Of course, not all kids are created alike. I think it makes sense for parents to consider the maturity level of their child before they decide when it's appropriate to let them venture out on their own. But I also think the news media is a major reason why Americans have become so overprotective of their kids and the media puts out a distorted image of reality.

Learn more about this author, Jenny Tolley.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.

No

That's like asking if it's okay to push a child into a pond full of sharp-toothed Piranha fish. That child would be targeted immediately by the hungry hunters just looking for easy prey.

Because that's what a 12-year-old child on a New York City subway is: easy prey. S/he might as well wear a sign saying "look at me: I'm gullible, and free for abuse." Because I believe anyone reading this will agree, the number one reason to not leave children alone IS sexual predators.

In fact, letting children like this enter and ride subways just makes kidnapping that much easier. There is no need to choose a child [at a playground, etc.], stalk or peruse a neighborhood - or use any effort at all. The unwary and innocent stand out like the sun when it's raining. Not to mention the child may not be missed for hours: until s/he's expected home.

And yes, there are those who disagree - say kids are living in a dangerous world already, etc - but there's no reason to push them into that pond full of carnivore hunting habits. There's no need to set a 12-year-old child up to be hurt, not only by sexual predators, but others as well.

Maybe the child gets onboard okay, and rides to where s/he need to be, but just moments before the train stops, someone is knifed for money for drugs. Anyone even near the thugs doing the killing is automatically at risk. How irresponsible is that? Twelve-year-olds are at that age when they think they can do anything an adult can do. They think they know more than their parents ever will, and just want to be left alone to prove it.

Well there are some adults that won't even take the Sub in NYC. They will tell one that that is what taxi's are for. There are over thirteen thousand cabs in New York City for a reason.

But back to my point. Another danger for a 12-year-old child is the odds of him/her being pushed or jostled off the platform and onto or near the rails. Even an unintended loss of balance would do it, as most 12-year-olds haven't got enough weight or strength to balance and then pull themselves back from an edge.

A child could get lost in the crowd that ensues at each stop, when the doors open; crushed or stamped on by people in a hurry, distracted somehow; vagrants could grab him/her as s/he walked up the steps - there are a thousand things that could go wrong, and they all make me shudder.

They should make parents and care-givers think - think really hard - before sending their child out into such a soup of humanity. There are other, safer ways to get around New York, no matter where the child is heading. Even if it's a short trip the child has taken a million times should not matter. The innocent mindset; the "I'm-all-grown-up" attitude; and the gullibility of a child's mind, all make that child a target. And of course, in a subway crowd, that child gains anonymity. It makes him or her a victim as easy as choosing one's favorite candy, at a candy store open twenty-four hours a day.

Is it responsible for a parent to let a 12-year-old child ride the NYC subway alone? No. Wanting one's child to gain a sense of self-reliance is admirable, but there are other, safer ways of doing so.

It would be a wonderful thing if Humanity and all her people's were perfect. It would be admirable if entire cities took care of their own - it is something everyone yearns for to one degree or another; but because that will never happen, the least we can do is keep our kids safe. We'll all sleep just a little bit easier at night.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Beach.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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