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Personal Morals & Values
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| Angelic | 11% | 11 votes | Total: 96 votes | |
| Real Person | 89% | 85 votes |
Angelic
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Add to FavoritesSome people spend their entire lives trying to figure out the purpose of our existence and the reasons for our death. Everyone has a purpose on earth.
Some people know their purpose while others are learning to find their meaning for existing. I think we use the words good and bad when describing people who do not or who are willing to conform to the way we see ourselves. It does not make it normal when the majority of people judge others this way.
The earth balances itself by good deeds and bad deeds. I believe this is one reason why we do not think alike. We have different societies with different ways of doing things for the purpose of keeping the earth balance.
America is a society made up of people from all over the world. Therefore, America is not a one culture country such as known cultures of Asia and Africa that have existed for centuries. So, I think when people die they should be remembered as angelic because it would be impossible to judge everyone. I think in our society we want to learn from the different cultures.
When in the learning process there may be things you agree with and disagree with. Again, this goes back to ones own standard of existence.
That standard of existence can be given up easily in American society. We have the ability to imitate other cultures and claim ownership of those cultures. It becomes hard sometimes to separate the real from the unreal.
To squash this confusion, people should see others as angelic when life leaves the body. I think most people want to be remembered as good and not bad.
I think most people want to be remembered as God fearing people. Their logic is probably that good deeds are always returned. The angelic side of a person makes you think how you want to be remembered.
It also relieves you from harboring hate against another soul. When you remember someone else in an angelic way, you will have the ability to understand life and how to proceed with your own abilities.
When someone dies in America, there is usually a church ceremony to give the person a happy ending. There is no judgement on the part of the preacher.
The purpose is the person will live a better life elsewhere.It will probably be the only peace the person will receive. We should not judge anyone's life. We must all stride for a better understanding. Therefore, everyone has a chance to be an angel somewhere else.
Learn more about this author, Beatrice Okorie.
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Real Person
The way to honor the memory and life of a person who has died is to tell the accurate story of the life that person lived. Flowery speeches that paint a person larger than life and elaborations of good deeds seem appealing at the moment, but they end up hollow and meaningless, painting an artificial; one dimensional picture. Instead, share honest memories that don't shy away from the qualities that make us all flawed humans.
Sensitivity and compassion are required however. Now is not the time for airing dirty laundry and dragging family skeletons out of the closet. Use wisdom and tact in determining what to share. This is not the time to go for the shock factor or to try and earn a guest spot on The Jerry Springer Show. Don't belabor the negative but at the same time, don't pretend that it didn't exist.
Air brushing perfection works in photography but not in memory. The less beautiful qualities of a person are not going to be forgotten just because that person is no longer living. Desiring to erase a part of someone, is not only impractical; it is impossible. The truth of who they were and how they lived cannot be changed by carefully chosen words.
Not only is the practice of painting the deceased as a saint hard to swallow, it is actually detrimental and divisive. Tale tales that attempt to canonize only highlight the very thing they were trying to hide. They highlight the elephant in the room. Such prevarication causes alienation and anger in those who are listening and don't recognize the person they remember in the sappy sentiments they are hearing.
Healing and community happen when an anecdote is shared that people can nod their heads and agree with. Even if the narrative highlights emotions like anger, frustration, impatience, or selfishness, it will draw people together if it is accurate. The sense of not being alone in pain is freeing. The burden of grieving truly is reduced when it is shared. The grieving process is never an easy one and to not have to walk this painful road alone is a great gift.
All of us have character flaws. All of us have attributes that are less than lovely. To deny that we fall and fail is to set others up for more spectacular falls and even greater failures. To deny the ugly, is to deny our humanity. To deny our humanity is to also deny all that is amazing and lovely and wonderful about being human. This is the greatest disservice of all.
Learn more about this author, Karen Witter.
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