Home > Relationships & Family > Marriage & Divorce > Marriage > Marital Conflicts
Interfaith marriages are doomed to fail
Results so far:
| Agree | 37% | 157 votes | Total: 428 votes | |
| Disagree | 63% | 271 votes |
Agree
by Freyda Tartak
Created on: September 29, 2009
Faith is undeniable. It is what gives people a reason to get up in the morning and a reason to keep going when things get tough. Faith is undeniable and undebatable. It is how people define truth.
When a couple gets together they do it on the assumption that they have enough in common to overcome any obstacle. Unfortunately, many rush into marriage before fully understanding where each other's faiths don't mesh. People just assume that common sense is common. They don't think about how much common sense is predetermined by their faith.
No matter how easy going a person may be, we all believe in something. At the heart of it, the things that truly matter to us are not up for debate. People die for their ideals. They kill for them. They certainly won't sacrifice them and forgive the person that forced their surrender. Not for long. Eventually, everybody finds a way to take back whatever cost too much to part with.
Usually, it isn't a problem until children come into the picture. You see, until then even if people share a life they are able to keep their souls to themselves. Some things never really come up the way they do when you have to decide how to spiritually guide your child. The child is equally yours and that of a person with a different set of beliefs.
No matter how liberal a parent may be, just about everybody envisions themselves with the right to pass on their own ideals. We look forward to it. We cherish the right. What happens, then, when you have to share that vision with somebody that doesn't understand, appreciate, or approve of your teachings?
It can be argued that the purpose of life is life itself. There is no other reason to exists but, to continue human existence and to aid the ability of others to procreate. For those that do not procreate they fall into two categories: Population control and Sustainability. Really, these are the same thing from different points on the same spectrum. But, this is something to be explained in depth at a different time. Let it suffice to say that two people who choose to raise a child from two diametrically opposing view points are neither sustaining society nor controlling its population growth. They are, in actually defeating the purpose of life by removing their children's ability to easily define a reason for being. At best, they are making it unnecessarily difficult for them.
Let us clarify the point. Unions of Jews and Catholics or other Christians don't count. Both come from basically the same system that reached a fork in the road about two thousand and ten years ago. Still, there is enough in common to make adjustments for the sins of their ancestors. The problem is more prevalent where the two faiths are so different that their very view of humanity is at odds with each other.
In fact, this is the point. A person's faith defines their view of humanity. If two people cannot agree on their most basic assertions, what hope can there be for the long term survival of their union?
Learn more about this author, Freyda Tartak.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Disagree
by Judith Mcintosh
Created on: March 22, 2011 Last Updated: March 23, 2011
Are Interfaith Marriages Doomed To Fail?
Marriage today seems to be under attack from all sides and as a result, the divorce rate is now fifty percent. When one considers that the vast majority of those marriages were not interfaith, it would seem that there are already enough stressors for marriages without adding another variable. Nonetheless, I don’t believe that interfaith marriages are necessarily doomed to failure. I just think that one needs to seriously consider the ramifications of an interfaith marriage before engaging in it because it might be one stressor too many for the prospective couple.
Interfaith marriages aren’t only about religious differences. Oftentimes, these marriages also bring cultural differences. Faith and culture are very closely interwoven in many instances and may include prayer rituals, the manner in which foods are prepared and served, and the clothing or attire, along with the creeds and articles of the faith. Even those couples who don’t actively attend church, temple or mosque, have most likely carried forward some of their beliefs and articles of faith. Those beliefs are imbedded in their everyday life and are simply taken for granted. A non-practicing Christian may yet believe that Jesus is the son of god and a non-practicing Muslim may still believe in Allah. Similarly, the Jewish partner may believe that our Savior has not yet come.
It is these differences of opinion that can come to take on almost mythic proportions once children are added to the equation because most parents would like their children to have some religious instruction. The question is ‘whose religion’? What church will they attend? Will they drift back and forth between the two religions or choose one in order to provide a sense of stability? Will prayer rituals be part of each day, and if so, whose? What about the practices surrounding the preparation of food, or the foods one is allowed to eat, for that matter? Will this be an equal partnership or will the husband assume the role of ‘head of the household’?
In addition to the foregoing, other forms of interfaith marriages may occur between differing Protestant sects, or between Protestants and Catholics. While these couples may have a few less religious differences there is still ample room for disagreement. Oftentimes, the issues of age at baptism and/or manner of baptism cause conflict. Communion and who may partake also differs between sects. Prayer too, may differ between the religions and not all sects place the same value on the role of women in the church—or for that matter, in the home. The religious service itself, differs with some churches following a formal and predictable routine from week to week. Others are known for their relaxed atmosphere and may have full bands leading the worship services.
Whatever the case may be, it stands to reason that the more variables one adds to the marriage, the greater the chance for discord and divorce. Ultimately, it seems to me that the question of interfaith marriage adds some additional stressors to the union. However, I believe that if the couple researches and studies each other’s background and discusses beforehand how they plan to deal with the issues as they arise, they can formulate a plan that will protect and help their union to grow and flourish. If they truly love each other I do not think that the marriage has to be doomed to failure.
Learn more about this author, Judith Mcintosh.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills
Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all
INFORMATION
Copyright © 2002-2012 Helium, Inc. All rights reserved.
Helium.com: A Service of RR Donnelley