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| Yes | 53% | 86 votes | Total: 161 votes | |
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Parents' personalities and temperaments are just as varied as those of children; therefore the one-size-fits-all approach is perhaps least appropriate when it comes to disciplining children. Many parents likely would ideally avoid the use of spanking to discipline; however, personal experience gained in raising two daughters who are complete opposites in many ways, tells me that for some children spanking must remain an option.
A significant number of European countries have banned spanking. The reasoning behind such a ban is sound: corporal punishment often escalates to abusive levels; and distinguishing between acceptable punishment and abuse in some cases can be extremely difficult, if not impossible. However, if we apply this same reasoning to other common occurrences, the reasoning falls apart. For instance, even if properly restrained, a child can be killed in a car crash. Are children still allowed to ride in vehicles? Yes. Appropriate measures are taken to ensure that the child's chances of surviving an accident are as high as possible, but the chance of death is still there. Spanking, when done by a loving parent whose intent is to raise a child who knows right from wrong, is an acceptable discipline method and should remain so. Sure, it can and does go wrong when frustrated, out-of-control parents spank their children, but a ban on spanking is not the answer.
What is the answer? Many think that a new law is the answer, and some ideas such as requiring couples to obtain a parenting license before the birth of their child seem to make sense. However, it is a good idea only in theory. In reality it would be ineffective. The couple might attend the parenting classes to obtain the license, but how can the government ensure they practice what is learned? Even if they could, what about those whose religions dictate alternative parenting techniques? Is a frustrated, out-of-control parent likely to remember what he/she learned in a prenatal parenting class anyway? As much as we'd like to live in a perfect world, we need to understand that a perfect world will never exist. Extreme caution should be exercised by those in a position to limit the rights of parents. The answer to child abuse is not a ban on spanking or licensing parents. Another law is not going to change those inclined to lose control anyway. However faulty, we have systems in place to protect children from abusers, so instead of creating new laws and more bureaucratic nightmares, we should strengthen the systems already in place.
Many think the word 'child' is synonymous with 'innocence,' but anyone who has worked in a school will likely tell you that children can be very manipulative. Children need to know that their parents are the ultimate authority when it comes to them. We should be supportive of parents, not take away their rights as parents. What's next? In time will parents be arrested for saying the wrong thing to their children? Those of us who are parents know that parenting is perhaps the hardest job in the world. We know going in that we are going to make mistakes. When we do mess up, we have to move on, hoping that next time things will go better. What if parents risked being arrested every time they made a mistake disciplining their child? All parents would be in jail; wouldn't they? Besides, spanking is being unfairly attacked. Many children of previous generations were spanked and went on to become happy and successful adults. Human beings are resilient that way.
Learn more about this author, Mina Snyder.
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No
Discipline is an unfortunate necessity of parenting. The form of discipline, however, does not need to be violent. If a child is given firm guidelines from very early on, corporal punishment shouldn't be necessary. Most parents don't feel the need to raise their hands to their children when they are infants because they know that if a child misbehaves they can simply pick them up and remove them from the situation. As children get older and discipline becomes more complicated, parents tend to fall back on what is easiest. Why force your child to sit in a time out chair when you can whack them on the butt and be done with it?
It worked for our parents, right? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. If a child is taught from an early age that when you say no and the rules are not followed there are consequences, they become conditioned to trust that you mean what you say. This allows children a degree of safety. Children need barriers and rules, but violence teaches children that when somebody doesn't do what they tell them to they have the right to retaliate with violence. Spanking a child while telling them they shouldn't hit sends mixed messages and can breed resentment as they get older and realize that their parents have a do as I say not as I do mentality.
Spanking can also backfire as children get older and are not as easy to "spank". As they get older they may decide that if you are permitted to hit them, then maybe they should be permitted to fight back. This is just setting up a potentially dire situation in which the violence can escalate out of control.
If a child is taught that good behavior is rewarded and bad behavior leads to being removed from the activities they enjoy they will learn to seek out that positive approval. While there are exceptions to every rule there are numerous studies showing that spanking not only doesn't make a lasting impression but that it actually can stunt development and lead to children being more rebellious.
Spanking may sometimes, on exceptionally rare occasions, be necessary but it must be used as nothing short of a last resort. There are several far more effective disciplinary techniques that a parent should try before resorting to spanking. Keeping violence out of your relationship can only strengthen the bond between parent and child and create a trusting environment for your child to grow.
Learn more about this author, Martina Billings, RN.
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