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| Yes | 59% | 51 votes | Total: 87 votes | |
| No | 41% | 36 votes |
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Add to FavoritesShould a person really have to feed your hired hands at the wedding? People can debate this either way because this is rather a tricky question. No you should not feel that you HAVE to feed wedding vendors at your reception, especially if they charge a built in gratuity, but it could be a nice gesture. The decision depends on a number of different issues and the choice is ultimately up to you.
My husband and I got married in 2006 and we were on a tight budget. By the time we paid the DJ, violinist, reverend, and for the dance hall, we were about strapped. Not to mention I went over-budget on the dress- oops! Anyhow it was a really nice outdoor country wedding and the reception went very well at our local community center. Among all the many decisions we've made, one of them was to offer food for the vendors who helped make our day special.
We felt that we had plenty of food to go around and that it would be a good way to thank them for their service. We also live in a very rural area so many of these people had a long commute. A nice meal before they head home seemed like an appropriate gesture of gratitude. I must say the violinist was eagerly chowing down when we arrived. He looked hungry.
We felt that offering a meal to these folks would also serve in place of a tip. The amount they charged was fair considering the driving distance and we felt like they had been paid enough; besides like I said, we didn't have a lot of extra money left post-wedding so it worked out good. It also didn't cost us a large amount of money to serve them.
Trying to be creative with our budget, we decided to prepare our own food for the reception. Luckily for us some kind-hearted neighbor ladies offered to prepare the meal. Husband and I went to Sam's club and bought pasta, a pork loin and beef brisket. We had two carts loaded down with food for under $200. This more than fed all the people at our wedding.
Conversely, I can understand if you are having an expensive catered dinner or having a meal at a restaurant. You did after-all pay these people for a service and I'm sure it's no small fee to begin with. I guess deciding whether or not to feed the people who work at your wedding is a personal matter left up to you and your spouse. It all depends on your monetary situation, type of food service and personal beliefs. Whatever you decide will probably be fine, after-all the day is about you two as a special couple and it's best not to fret over every single detail. Good luck.
Learn more about this author, Rebecca K..
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No
No, you should not be obligated to feed wedding vendors at your reception although you might want to invite them for personal reasons. Sometimes in their compassion and excitement for the day, either the bridal couple or their relatives will invite anyone who takes part in the production of the event as a gesture of appreciation. But that is not for everyone because many do not want to mix business with pleasure, especially on their wedding day.
For many people, their wedding day marks the greatest and most memorable day of their lives. It's a day that they hope to reminisce for years to come because it's one day that touches their hearts and the hearts of their loved ones more than any other day. This is the day that the bridal couple share with the people they love and respect.
Planning a wedding can be stressful and when we find vendors who are willing to go the extra mile to ensure the reception flows beautifully and smoothly, we feel obligated to invite them to share in the reception. This invitation is neither right nor wrong because it depends totally on the people inviting them.
Perhaps the vendors are friends who are in the business and their service is their gift to you or maybe you have to pay for it but you're getting terrific discounts because of your friendship. The bridal party would likely want to invite the wedding vendors because of their relationship, and this would add more joy to their special day.
On the other hand, the wedding vendors could be hired strictly as a business to provide the best reception for the wedding. The vendors may help to create the perfect atmosphere and provide the most delicious and appetizing food with service that is second to none. This is their job and this is why you are paying them, but their professionalism should not make it your obligation to invite them to share in the reception.
Some wedding couples feel so deeply about their day being a very special and personal event that they only want to share it with the people they love, their family and friends. They want to be able to eat their meal together at the head table and look at all the special people in their lives who have helped be make their day possible. Seeing their loved ones sharing this reception with them brings about a satisfaction and joy that words cannot say.
Other couples take their day to be special but are willing to share it with anyone because they are happy and almost adopt the clich of 'the more the merrier' as their mandate for the celebration. They enjoy their reception and aren't affected by having unfamiliar faces share their reception.
Inviting the wedding vendors to join in the reception is really a personal gesture that depends on how sacred you consider the day. If you're going to invite the wedding vendors, why not invite the clean-up crew or the florist or the seamstress who made your gown? Invitations stem from the heart of appreciation and are not limited to just the faces that stand in the foreground.
There really is no right or wrong as a general mandate because the invitation rests totally on how the bridal couple view the day in terms of it being a personal and sacred event or open for anyone to join in the celebration.
Learn more about this author, Ronnie Dauber.
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