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Child Discipline Strategies
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Add to FavoritesCrime and punishment has been part of human culture since before the dawn of civilization. Even before the establishment of written laws there were penalties associated with inappropriate behaviors which were designed to punish the offenders and deter future offenses. Physical and corporal punishment still exist in many eastern and middle-eastern societies and is often frowned upon by the western world as barbaric and inhumane. However, the lawlessness that exists in these countries is typically magnitudes lower than that in the western world. While brutal, it is difficult to argue the effectiveness of such severe tactics.
The twentieth century saw a revolution in the concept of crime and punishment in the United States. A fundamental shift from punishing criminals to reforming lawbreakers was made which has cost this country a great deal in the way of moral values, safety and victimization. Criminals who before would have been harshly punished or even eliminated are now coddled in today's penal system, educated and often times given better living conditions than law abiding citizens living on the street. All of the benefits are given to people who once released have a re-offense rate highest of all the "civilized" world. After lounging in a relatively comfortable prison cell watching their cable television and dining on tax payer funded food these criminals leave their protective shell of prison to victimize more of the same taxpaying citizens that have paid to support them over the years. It's a flawed system that is doomed to failure.
Many of the Muslim countries of world have been vilified recently for reinstituting Koranic law in their countries. Seen as outdated, barbaric and cruel the laws laid down in the sacred Islamic scriptures detail absolute punishments for theft, murder, adultery and a great number of other crimes that afflict our world still today. Many of these punishments stem from the time of the writings Muhammad around 600 A.D. and are understandably viewed as outdated relics of a more brutal time. However, given the low crime rates and even lower repetition of crimes in these countries we cannot simply dismiss such practices as remnants of antiquity. In today's world of constantly rising crime rates one cannot argue with the effectiveness of such laws.
The issue that the western world has with such seemingly harsh applications of the law such as corporal punishment is the illusion that we live in a civilized society. Operating under this misguided impression there is some underlying affirmation that a civilized society should not condone or endorse physical punishment in any form. A civilized society should strive to reform its criminal element and bring them back into the fold of civilization. We believe that somehow through kind treatment and comfort exhorted through our penal system that criminals will reach a state of enlightenment, realize the error of their ways and live a clean and true law abiding life and be productive members of society for the rest of their blessed days.
Obviously this utopian view of society is not only misguided, it is dangerous. The first thing the country and the world need to come to understand is that we are not a civilized society; certainly not as we define humane and civilized. If we were truly civilized there would be no wars in the world, no need to kill, steal or rape, no hunger and no homeless people in the world. We would focus on these things rather than the accruement of wealth at the expense of others. Today's society is no more civilized than the barbarians that prowled the forests of Europe a thousand years go. We are a society of opportunistic individuals all striving towards goals that profit us and we are ready to step on whoever gets in our way in order to accomplish our goals.
While this bleak outlook on society may be a bit harsh, we certainly aren't engaging in tribal warfare for scraps of land. But then again, are we? Look at the increasing presence of gang warfare that now extends outside of urban districts into our small downs and suburbs. This is no different than the roving bands of highwaymen that would rape, burn and pillage villages for sheer profit, enjoyment and the exercise of their power over the weak. These are hardly signs of a civilized society. Looking even beyond the bigger gang problems, the 20th century has seen not only the birth but the influx of the serial killer. A term and a presence that prior to the late 1800's did not exist. This is a sign of civilization slipping further away than ever before. Look also at the wars of the 20th century, with modern weapons and tactics they resulted in more dead in the past hundred years then the past 500 years. These are not signs of civilization, these are signs of anarchy and brutality which the world seems comfortable accepting. Yet we get overly squeamish when it comes to dealing with criminals who rob innocent victims of their rights.
Once we accept the fact that society is not civilized it becomes much more palatable to use physical and corporal punishment to shape the disturbed and deviant members of society so that we can make society a better place. There should be less focus on educating monsters for release back into the public domain and more focus on punishing them for the crimes against humanity they commit, then using these examples to deter further people from deviating from what society deems is the normal acceptable behavior. Only when we begin to play by the rules of the rule breakers do we stand a chance as a society of ever reaching a level we can call civilized.
Learn more about this author, Joseph Whalen.
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wrong
For years I espoused the deleterious effect of removing corporal punishment from our schools, and chided the various family agencies that railed against hitting children for any reason. After all, my generation, and many before it, had our backsides tanned for many an infraction. For the most part, we grew up to respect the hand that swatted us, and to not resent the fact that we got what we deserved. Then I had children of my own, and found myself at the front of a classroom full of potentially hostile students - some of whom could probably squash me in a physical confrontation. What I learned through experience is that there is rarely an event that warrants hitting someone, particularly if the desire is for something positive to be learned.
There is one distinction that must be made between corporal punishment and physical discipline. Punishment is an action designed to make a person regret what they have done. It is the consequence for the crime, and is meted out without emotion, but with due process. Conversely, discipline is an attempt to teach someone to think through a situation prior to the action. In a nutshell, where discipline is proactive, punishment is reactive. On that same plane, punishment is concrete whereas discipline is abstract.
As previously stated, punishment should follow a due process where the infraction is discussed, guilt determined beyond the shadow of doubt, and then dispensed without emotion or fanfare. In my experience, few people are capable of this. Moreover, punishment by parents is delivered among high emotions, without much discussion, and leaving the punished party emotionally and physically distressed without a full understanding of the situation. This leaves resentment, embarrassment, and the possibility of long-term physical issues caused by the punishment. Any relationship between the punisher and the punished is at this point severely strained, rarely completely recoverable, and encumbered by fear of the next punishment - because there will always be another opportunity.
Discipline is different. It is a reflection on the action, a discussion of the reaction, and an acceptance of the consequences for the action. Those consequences are directly tied to the action, and provide an emotional response toward the event, rather than toward the disciplinarian. Once the disciplinary action is completed - which could last moments, hours, days, or even weeks - another reflection is conducted to ensure that the intended lesson has been learned. The disciplinarian does not take the roles of judge, jury, and executioner, but rather elaborator of consequence. If the infraction caused others hardship, then that hardship is broadened to include the person who brought it about. Should others be inconvenienced by thoughtlessness, then the thoughtless individual is encouraged to think tenfold about action without thought. This is the basis of civil lawsuits, restitution, and community service requirements under the edict of our justice system.
Like our justice system, however, there are special circumstances where punishment is warranted. However, as an enlightened society, punishments rarely involve direct physical interventions such as spanking, slapping, or punching. Capital punishment, a discussion on its own, is reserved for particularly heinous situations, and is executed under exacting regulations. Countries who utilize caning, stoning, and public humiliation are often harshly criticized by the global community. As adults, we should always be trying to teach our children right from wrong. These lessons are made impossible through the haze of tears and the stinging of a belt across our backsides.
Learn more about this author, Stephen Hammel.
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