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Is there any harm in raising a "latchkey kid"?

Results so far:

Yes
62% 77 votes Total: 124 votes
No
38% 47 votes
Yes

Just hearing the term "latchkey kid" tugs a little at my heart. The thought of a small boy or girl letting themselves into a cold, dark home after school to care for their own needs makes me truly feel a stark, lonely emptiness that is probably shared by hundreds of thousands of children every day. School days are long and not always pleasant. A child needs to know that at the end of that hard day, someone is waiting for them, someone they can talk to and know will care about their thoughts. Preferably, this would be a parent. If a parent can't be there, everything in the world should be done to ensure that SOMEONE is there to greet the child at the end of the day.

Parents don't always choose to work. Single parents especially have no choice but to earn a living to provide for their family. Who could blame them for choosing work over welfare, and making a life for their child? That is fully understandable, but I'm willing to bet that many of the latchkey kids out there don't have to be so alone. Perhaps a parent doesn't have to work, but chooses to for social or emotional reasons. This is the United States, land of the free, do what you must - but please, remember that you have a child at home who needs you more than they need fifty Hollister shirts, or that constant stream of new Nikes.

Being left alone after school can breed boredom in children, especially teens. Kids can and do get into trouble when bored, whether with actions or with drugs and alcohol. Growing up, my mom was a stay-at-home parents. She did spend a short period of time "trying out" working in a bank. She was gone every day after school, which was a huge change from the normal greeting my brother Rob and I had grown used to. Coming home to an empty house had a very sad, forlorn feeling to it. I didn't like knowing that no one was there to care if something bad happened to me. Having my mom there had been a security that I now believe I really needed. My little brother often was bored after school without Mom around. I recall one time in particular - no one was paying attention to him and his friend - so he decided that it might be fun to bring matches into his bedroom. I'm not sure of the scenario - I spent those days laying on my back on the living room couch stuffing my face with Chips Ahoy every day (and subsequently became a chubby preteen). Rob and his friend began to light matches in his bedroom.....apparent ly, one of the boys dropped a match on the carpet, and a small fire started. Rob was able to put the fire out, but he couldn't cover the smell of fire afterward. My parents came home, and there was quite a long, tearful discussion with Rob that night (I was sent to my room and couldn't overhear the details, much to my dismay). Eventually, my parents came to the realization that my mom was needed at home more than at the bank.

I have been blessed in by being able to have a job that allowed me to leave work when it's time to pick up my three kids from school. I was able to make a living for my family as well as being home for my kids every single day after school. This was the best feeling in the world - until my world came crashing down as my fabulous accounting job ended. The economy put my employer out of business, so after working my seven years as an Accounting Administrator, I am now unemployed.

I am at a crossroads. I realize how terrible our economy is and just how few and far-between good jobs are to find. My children are getting older, but they still need their mom. Dad is working crazy hours, and I'm the one that's got to be the more at-home parent. I've got office skills, accounting skills, but I'm not willing to put myself out there at a 9-5 job and have my boys coming home to a dark, empty house. I don't want them walking through the door with nothing to welcome them home but the quiet whir of the fish tanks and vast emptiness of a home without parents.

Making money is not something that I have a choice about - my family relies on my income. Unemployment can get a family by for a while, but it is not a permanent answer. I've truly been torn apart about what to do - I need to continue working to keep my kids in their home, yet I'm not willing to be absent as a parent and totally miss their growing - up years either.

I've decided to open a family daycare. Part of the benefit of my working from home is that I'll also be able to take on after-school children who would otherwise be heading home alone. Sure I'm making money off of it, but the parents of the kids will also benefit - they will have the security of knowing their children are with someone who truly cares about kids and that they are NOT left home alone. Children need to be welcomed after school. They've worked hard all day, perhaps been bullied or ignored at school - this is too much of a burden for a child to carry alone. Kids need to see that an adult is there for them, someone who will listen to the pains of the day and hug them away. I'm happy to know that I'll be there for my kids. I won't be making much money. I could make so much more in a job with my vast experience and knowledge, but there is no price I'd pay for my kids having no mom around after school. My kids may not have a ton of money in their pockets, but they'll have a lot of love and security in their hearts.

Learn more about this author, Melissa Cavanaugh.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.

No

Latchkey Kids




Assuming the latchkey kid is of age to be home alone, I chose to vote on the "no" side of this debate. Here in our area, the legal minimum age of a latchkey kid is twelve years old. Even at twelve, only the parents (hopefully) and the child can decide if this is a workable situation.




If your child is experiencing any fear, panic or anxiety over coming home to an empty house, than by all means try to make alternate arrangements. This can be a simple as visiting your child's school events and getting to know the other parents. There are 25 or 30 other kids are the same school bus, and maybe one of them would stay with your child until you return from work. In any event, in this case, an alternate solution is a must.




Katie is a young girl who has been a latchkey kid since the age of twelve and she loved every minute of it! She spent her time reading and writing, and found this "alone" time to be a time of both freedom and enjoyment. Her parents had been able to discuss basic safety issues such as not answering the door, what information to reveal or not reveal on the telephone, etc., without making it seem frightening or threatening. They were able to teach her "stranger danger" lessons without making her afraid. They accomplished this through dialogue which allowed her to ask questions, voice her concerns, and so on. They provided her a list of telephone numbers including the number of their nearest neighbour in the event of an emergency she might not feel capable of handling alone. It goes without saying that this was prearranged with the neighbour in advance.




Once she got a bit older she spent this alone time pretending it was her own house. This allowed her to grow and develop new skills, such as meal planning and preparation. She now makes the decision about what to make out of that pound of hamburger mom took out of the freezer earlier that day. Sure the family has shared some pretty awful meals while she experimented with cooking, but so what? So mom and dad have lost a few pounds as she works on her cooking skills, lots of parents would LOVE to have that same problem!




She is now a sixteen and still a latchkey kid whom many believe would be a great role model for others in the same situation. It is amusing to watch as she brings her parents up to speed on mom's favorite talk shows and dad's insatiable need to know the up to the minute weather forecast in their area. She hits the highlights of the six o'clock news so effectively neither parent feels the need to stay up late to catch the eleven o'clock updates.




This informal education, a direct result of being a latchkey kid has made Katie seems wise beyond her years, albeit in a very constructive and beneficial way. It has made her more aware of the world around her through exposure to differing guests/opinions on Oprah & Dr. Phil, (mom's faves); and the weather channel and the six o'clock news (dad's faves). As a young teen there is so much more to her world now than just me, me, and me




Might she have developed such a diverse interest in life had she not been a latchkey kid? Maybe, but then again, maybe not. Dinner conversations at Katie's house are much more animated and interesting than in days long past. Her school work and book reports and such took on much greater dimensions than usual in such a young girl, resulting in higher marks. Both parents and child have benefited immensely from these experiences. And, that's a good thing, a very good thing indeed.

Learn more about this author, Melinda Barr.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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