Yes

by Dr. G. A. Anderson

Created on: June 28, 2010

While grandparents, certainly most grandparents, would never expect to be helped with financial support from grandchildren, there are some kinds of support they may not object to and may even rightfully expect.

Financially, grandparents may have pensions, Social Security, investments, and enough savings to be able to live very comfortably. They may even be well-off, depending upon what their younger years were like in terms of careers or other fortunate circumstances. Many may have been able to save extremely well and invest wisely. They may certainly be in a better financial situation than their grandchildren.

But grandparents living on a fixed and limited income might appreciate monetary support given under the guise of holiday gifts, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, or any of a number of gift-giving occasions where financial support is not so obvious. Grandchildren of today are finding it difficult enough to get by in some cases, that even helping their own parents has become a hardship. Grandparents know and understand how hard it is for their grown grandchildren these days, when the economy is less than promising and many younger people are having to tighten their belts.

However, there are other kinds of support that can be offered by grandchildren and that are gladly accepted without making grandparents feel like they're freeloading off their young relatives. Money may not be what they need at all. Grandchildren should have been taught this from an early age - grandparents treasure the time their grandchildren spend with them, even when they have become young adults with lives of their own. It is easy to reach old age and feel somewhat like "orphans" at the far end of the age spectrum, and to feel abandoned by their own flesh and blood. Gramma and Grandpa can feel very sad and even depressed by the absence of the people they love most, and it can happen any day of the year, not just on those big important holidays. They can feel just as sad and depressed when these loved ones "make an appearance" and leave as soon as possible, making it obvious they feel they've done their good deed for the family, but they'd rather be anywhere else. If grown grandchildren do not spend quality time with grandparents, Gramma and Grandpa are certainly going to notice and they will feel deeply saddened by the lack of love and family support.

In other ways, adult grandchildren can be of help and support with jobs that become too challenging or tiring for their grandparents. There are many things around the home, especially if the home is older and has served the family well for many years, that need to be repaired, repainted, replaced, or removed, and updates installed once they have been neglected for a few years. When grandparents decide to remain in their home, there is no lack of maintenance that must be performed so that life is not just comfortable, but also safe.

Retrieving medications, buying groceries, taking care of bank transactions, going for cards and gifts, and other errand-related help can be provided by adult grandchildren, as well as trips to doctors and hospitals for appointments. Grandchildren can escort and attend church with grandparents - a lovely, loving gesture that grandparents dearly love. These are all important ways in which adult grandchildren can be of support to grandparents. Many times, just taking one or the other or both out for breakfast or lunch will be a bonus.

No matter what the individual family situation may be, support from adult grandchildren is always much appreciated and sometimes very much needed. Your grandparents loved and helped to nurture you from your infancy on. Rather than turn your back on them and let them feel they are no longer needed, take the time to demonstrate your love and respect for them by letting them know that you still need them in your life. Look for ways to show your support, if not financially, in the many other ways support can be given.

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