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| Yes | 31% | 147 votes | Total: 470 votes | |
| No | 69% | 323 votes |
Yes
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Add to FavoritesHumans are proud of their individuality and we display it in every area of our lives, even aging. Each person faces the prospect of impending middle age and even old age differently and so their reactions to having their age announced or thrown up in their faces will also differ. But simply because someone is a good sport, is that any reason to turn their birthday into your party?
Good manners and consideration seem nearly forgotten these days and I am willing to admit that I am merely a relic myself. I bade goodbye to simple civility years ago and I don't expect that etiquette will ever be a subject in schools once again. Yet however modern our society has become, and however many of its ancient rules for behavior fall by the wayside, I still believe that you celebrate another person's birthday to make them happy. It's about the person whose birthday it is, not about you. You wish them a Happy Birthday to demonstrate that you like and value that person and to give them pleasure and a feeling of being cared about. How do jokes about their age and gag gifts tell another person that we value them?
When considering those black balloons and the "Over The Hill" signs, ask yourself whether these have been chosen to bring joy to the recipient or if they are for the amusement of the other guests. Is this a birthday party or a Dean Martin Roast?
In close and personal relationships, one is likely to know whether the recipient would be offended or take it all in stride. Between close friends, family members and those in relationships, jokes regarding age may be seen as innocuous and entertaining. In professional situations, such as at the office, these could lead to hard feelings, offense and perhaps career-derailing consequences.
Imagine that the recipient of gag gifts and jabs about impending senility considers these to be quite funny and doesn't mind a bit. Would they have minded getting thoughtful gifts and cards with congratulatory messages instead? It's unlikely that anyone would turn away true good wishes and carefully chosen and useful gifts in exchange for being the butt of the group's jokes.
Basically, if one is going to err (and that is also very human) it's best to err on the safe side, to employ consideration and good manners when choosing gifts and decorations. You won't offend someone by giving them a gift they will treasure, but you might if you commandeer their birthday and turn it into your party.
Learn more about this author, A. Jacobina Poulsen.
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No
I have never thought of a birthday gift as insulting to someone's age. For a lot of people, birthday's are viewed as happy occasions and should be celebrated no matter what. Especially the "milestone" birthday's. When the time comes, we bring out the cake, black balloons, muscle rub, and the denture cups. All of the things that signify that we're getting older. However, I do believe, that for those people who are sensitive regarding their age, quirky, crude or silly gifts - should not be given. The gifts will not be appreciated by the receiver, and they will be viewed as offensive and "not funny."
As with a lot of things, the person's personality, their attitude, life situation, and how they feel about aging, should always be considered when thinking about giving them a gift. Some people are not celebratory, and may be very sensitive towards receiving "a gag gift," or something that reveals their age.
For me personally, I have always enjoyed gifts that shows a person's age. Balloons, stickers, yard signs, cards, and banners that tell how old a person is, - are pleasant surprises, if they are viewed as such.
To me getting older, is a declaration that I've survived another year. I'm happy about it, so, why not celebrate?
But, with the joy and excitement of birthday celebrations, the person getting older must always be kept in mind. Some people are not happy about getting older and in truth, there are many people who want to hide it.
In reality, a birthday that reaches a milestone (or a birthday celebration in general) may be depressing for some. Everyone does not wish to celebrate their birthday (and they don't). For them, aging is not a laughing matter and caution should be used if you're considering giving them a gift.
In my mind, to give a person a birthday gift means that they're being remembered and celebrated. I don't think the goal is to ever insult someone with a birthday gift; but instead, the gift is being given to the person as a token of kindness; something that they will remember. Whether the gift is considered funny, pleasant, joyous, or nice - the point is to acknowledge the person and their birthday. And of course, "to celebrate them and their special day."
My final thoughts: Aging and birthdays are a part of life; but with gift giving, we must always keep the receiver in mind.
Learn more about this author, J. Lo.
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