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| Yes | 42% | 104 votes | Total: 248 votes | |
| No | 58% | 144 votes |
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Add to FavoritesYour child is the most important person in your world. The date he/she was born certainly deserves to be celebrated with a party. Not only does the day commemorate the uniquely special little person who was born, but it marks a milestone of growth and accomplishment for each year he/she has graced this earth.
A party is any occasion when a group of people gather to celebrate. The definition does not specify the number of people in attendance nor the style of the celebration.
With five children in our family, we were always having parties. Some were on a grand scale with all the party paraphenalia and numerous guests. Other parties were conducted in a simpler style with only family present.
My firstborn had a party for his first birthday. His grandmother, father and I were the only guests. He had a decorated cake with a large candle in the center, balloons and gaily wrapped presents. He had no idea what was going on, only that it was fun. I'm confident he felt very important with all eyes, and the camera, on him.
Each successive child had a similar celebration. The party was not important to the one year old, but it was very important to me. I vividly recall the day each was born and how the birth impacted my life; making me so much richer going forward. To not celebrate the yearly anniversary date of those births with a party would be unthinkable.
Over the years we celebrated birthdays in many different ways. There were surprise parties, sleepover parties with friends, intimate dinners in restaurants, sweet sixteen parties etc...
It was not so much the party that made the birthday child feel important; it was the acknowledgement that he/she was so important, we just had to throw a party.
In our society nowadays, I observe that birthday parties have taken on a life of their own. In an effort to keep up, parents invite the child's entire class, the parties are held at exotic venues and the cost is prohibitive. Does this make the child feel important, or does he/she get lost in the shuffle?
It is a shame to see the real purpose of the celebration abandoned in the competitive game of, "Who had the best birthday party?" This method of celebrating might actually have a negative effect on a child's self esteem.
It seems more prudent to gather the family and real friends of the child and make the celebration all about him/her; as opposed to making it an entertainment venue for numerous barely known acquaintances that the child won't remember in the future.
Such misguided celebrations could be impetus for parents to throw up their hands and say, "Enough!" To do so, however, negates the true purpose of the party; celebrating a very important person and making him/her feel special indeed.
Another tendency these days is to schedule birthday parties at "convenient" times, rather than on the actual birth date. Again, this seems to negate the purpose of the party; celebrating the very special day a special and unique person was born. How important can a birthday boy or girl feel if he/she has to wait until the weekend, or a more convenient time to celebrate?
There is something magic to children about waking up on the morning of their birthday and running to a mirror to see if they still look the same. To have a celebration in their honor, whatever the size, is literally frosting on the cake. Children may not need a party to feel important, but they need a birthday party to realize how important they are to the rest of us.
A birthday party does not have to be a showcase event. All it takes to make a successful birthday party is a cake with candles, and a gathering of all who happen to be around; with everyone singing, "Happy Birthday," even a little off key.
Everyone's eyes shine a little brighter in the glow of their birthday candles.
Learn more about this author, Carol Gioia.
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No
If a child needs a birthday party to make them feel important, very simply put, their parent is not doing a good job.
This is not to say that children cannot, and do not enjoy birthday parties, for most certainly they do, but to have a child that "needs" a party to feel important is terribly sad. A child who needs a party is exhibiting the effects of living in a society where being popular is important, the number of friends matters. The size of the cake matters. The number of gifts count.
Would a child feel any less important if nobody threw birthday parties? If nobody threw an event to mark such an occasion no one would feel they missed out on something, would they? Some religions do not believe in celebrating such times, are their children left to feel unimportant?
A birthday party is a chance for children to invite their friends, and relatives (although at some ages friends are more preferred than family) to celebrate a "special" day for them. Children are often saddened when fewer guests arrive than they invited, or when they do not get the "puppy" they asked for. Even then, if you were to tell a child they are not having a party at all, very likely they would be upset.
Parenting children with high self esteem would not see a child hurt by the lack of guests, or the lack of receiving a puppy, or even by the lack of a party itself. Very few parents have reached this level with their children, and not always by their own doing. Society places an importance on these social events even at a young age.
Parents must somehow make their children comfortable and happy every day of the year so that they know who their friends are, and do not rely on receiving of gifts to feel "loved".
Babies don't know what birthday parties are, most parties for one, and even two-year-olds, are more for the parents than for the child. It isn't until a child is three or four that they begin to place an importance on the party, or lack thereof. At eight, or nine years, a party is an all important event, talked about in schools for weeks in advance. By the time the kids are teens they are either very consumed with needing a party or are indifferent to it.
One of the best examples of children who are mature and well adjusted are those who still want parties, but ask that their guests bring donations for a local charity, such as an animal shelter or sick children's hospital. Anyone who is fortunate enough to have a child suggest this on their own, has truly done a good job of parenting.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a party, nor is there anything wrong with having one. My own daughter certainly enjoys them. The problem only exists when the party is held as a way of the child feeling important.
Learn more about this author, Brenda Nelson.
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