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Friendlier cats: Male or female?
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| Male | 65% | 1320 votes | Total: 2023 votes | |
| Female | 35% | 703 votes |
Male
by Linda Joyce
Created on: February 18, 2009 Last Updated: November 15, 2009
I have had both male and female cats my whole life, being an avid cat person. In my experience, male cats have always seemed somewhat friendlier than the females.
The cat I had the longest, named George, lived to almost 20, and he was not only friendly but dignified. When George was around, it was like having another person with me. He had a loving nature and was always friendly toward not only other people but all other animals, as well.
Another male cat that I had for a long time, until he died of chronic renal failure about four years ago was Spohnky. He was truly the friendliest male cat I ever knew, which was amazing considering the uneven start we had. You see, Spohnky was an outside cat from somewhere in our hoursing development. There were rumors that he was owned by a family with a little boy who was cruel to him, so they let him go. (I always thought they should have let the boy go instead.) Did I mention the fact that Spohnky had a tail that was broken in two places and ears that were both tattered? We never did find out how any of that happened, but I certainly have my suspicions.
To make a long story short, my sister and I first met Spohnky on our evening walks. He would jump out at us from behind a house or a wall and follow us down the street. He was a black cat, probably less than two at the time, and very playful and mischievous. We couldn't resist him. Night after night, he would appear as we walked down the street on our usual route. My sister started carrying him on our walks, which became a chore as he became heavier from us feeding him.
Finally, it was getting toward autumn and the weather was growing cooler. Since this poor cat was out on the street, we decided we should adopt him. Never mind that we had eight other cats at the time. He liked the idea because it meant a constant supply of food and a warm bed and eagerly came into our home. Unfortunately, he was more feral at the time than loving housecat. When I tried to hold him, he would leave deep scratches down my arms and jump away from me. He would also bite often and hard.
It took me months to socialize him, but when it happened it was quite a reversal. He became the most loving cat I ever had! He would sleep with me under the blankets each night. He loved being petted and kissed and would either sit on my lap while I was working or reading or rub against me to show me he was there and needed attention. I confess I made him into a mama's boy, and I am not sorry. I have wonderful memories of our time together and only regret that he is not with me now.
My last female cat, Sydney was with me for about 11 years. She was a Lynxpoint Siamese, and that might have been part of the problem. Not that there was really a problem; she just wasn't as friendly or affectionate as Spohnky. She and Spohnky lived with me (without other cats) for several years, and although they got along, she would ignore him many times when he was looking for a playmate. He would reluctantly go off on his own.
Like Spohnky, she was diagnosed with chronic renal failure, which I guess is an odd coincidence because they were not related. She was adopted from the Humane Society.
Sydney passed on in February of this year. I spent a good amount of time caring for her because of her condition. She never exhibited bad behavior, didn't ruin things or mess things up about the house when I was gone, and never even put up a fuss when I had to use a long needle to give her fluids each day. As her time drew near, she did seem more affectionate, even grateful in her own way for the care I gave her. The last week or so of her life, a big treat for her was to lie in a cat bed in front of the warm fireplace and snooze. I miss her very much, too.
Yet, from my experience, overall I would have to say the male cats I've known seemed more friendly than females, although I am sure there are exceptions, as there are with everything.
Learn more about this author, Linda Joyce.
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Female
by Andrea D. Hutchinson
Created on: July 21, 2008 Last Updated: September 12, 2008
Fierce independence is a natural trait of the feline species. As humans we attach human traits to our pets. Independence, aloofness, that we commonly attribute to males, is therefore projected to the male of any species. Therefore we conclude that male cats are unfriendly. Often when speaking, in general, about a cat, we naturally refer to it as him or he. Our human need to project humanity onto our pets is, obviously, not a science. In fact it is primarily emotional.
Gender does not appear to have an impact on the friendliness of any cat. Currently, this writer's friendliest cat is a female. However, we recently lost one of our long time pet cats, Harley. He was very friendly and affectionate. All of our feline family members have moody moments. Some are manipulative, while others are clearly devious in nature. This can been seen in their eyes.
No! Really, when a cat's eyes are shinny and the size of onyx dinner plates, step away. Slowly, they are about to pounce! Not necessarily in an unfriendly manner. She is just playing, all claws out, with your naked foot!
Obviously there will be times when any cat will have personality issues. When he is not feeling well. When they are not cared for properly, or are mistreated physically. Leading to the point about how a cat becomes friendly or unfriendly.
Friendly or unfriendly demeanors, in cats, or any animal for that manner, are formed partially by the environmental and situational surroundings. Of course they have genetic traits, that only a professional could determine. However, both environment and situation plays more pertinent roles in the temperment your feline friend, then does the gender factor.
Morgan, currently reigning as friendliest feline, in our humble home, keeps to herself most of the day. As do all of our six cats. Cats tend toward daylight napping. However, when my husband comes home she is in his lap and purring. She will sit in anyone's lap, but usually it is in the evening, when she comes out of hiding. Morgan naturally favors my husband. Her demeanor is quiet and polite. She rarely has confrontations with her feline housemates, and is always pleasant to the humans.
The next friendliest cat in the household is Smoosh or Mittens. Smoosh is male. When called Mittens he glares at the name caller, somehow knowing that Mittens is a female name. Yet, ignoring the insult, he will stand on his head when you pet him. Now let me explain, if you scratch his ears he will lower his forehead to the sturdiest surface available and rest it there. Literally on his forehead, likes he is about to do a tumble roll. This may be a leg, knee or the arm of the chair. Smoosh stays in this position, purring for the duration of the petting session. Often he comes up with the tip of his tongue out of his mouth. Many have insulted his delicate sensibilities with laughter, at the performance.
A cat's friendliness quotient has much to do with their upbringing, as well. The cat who continually has to dodge an active toddler or an angry adult, tends to be skittish at best. Unfriendly and hostile, at worst. This cat is on constant alert, in an attempt to avoid a hostile environment. His negative personality is self defense.
The cat that is forced into unwanted attentions, that may seem to the owner to be affectionate, could cause the feline to be guarded in behavior. Also having the appearance of unfriendliness.
The cat that is allowed to interact with other pets and humans, on it's own terms, is often considered friendly. Mainly because the cat is not forced to endure unwanted attention. Therefore they will not tend to shy away from their human housemates. The cat that is permitted to be themselves will be attentive to the other pets and humans. On his terms and in his timing.
The only true resolution to this debate is to reason that a cat's social demeanor is due to their home environment, specific situations and personality. Not their gender. The friendliest cat has a human or two that they would rather not deal with. Therefore, it stands to reason, that the most sullen Tom has a human he cannot live without.
Like their human owners, cats are a peculiar species. They are selective in their interactions, favorite foods and places to nap. They like, or tolerate, us and other family pets, in their own accord.
Therefore, unless you've raised your cat from a kitten, you may never be able to determine why your furry friend is friendly or unfriendly.
Respect his space. Give him attention and affection on his terms, and he will be happy. Just remember, he is not likely to respect your space or be there for you when you need a hug. After all, he is a cat, and that would not be cool. They represent an entire species of aloof creatures, and are bound by the generational tradition to be cool at all cost.
Learn more about this author, Andrea D. Hutchinson.
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