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Is it an engagement without the ring?
Results so far:
| No | 38% | 409 votes | Total: 1064 votes | |
| Yes | 62% | 655 votes |
No
by Patricia Cox
Created on: January 12, 2010 Last Updated: June 25, 2010
Can you have an engagement without a ring?
Logically, the answer would seem to be apparent. If only our brains were used in the decision making process, the answer would have to be yes. The question can be asked and answered, therefore you have an engagement..
So, technically at least, you can have an engagement without a ring.
Logically there are reasons for the traditional exchange of the engagement ring:
1. An engagement ring is a symbol from you to her:
An engagement ring is the visual and symbolic expression of the love that you share with her, a substantial reminder to her that you want to spend your life with her.
The ring is also a symbol the demonstrates that you chose a ring that was suitable for her, its shows her how you feel about her. The amount of money spent on a ring is unimportant. What will matter is the thought that you put into the choosing of the ring and that you took the time to think of how you wanted to propose.
2. She is taken:
An engagement ring shows the world that she is no longer available to other suitors.
Historically, if a woman did not have an engagement ring on her hand by the time she attained a certain age, she was deemed to be too old to marry and had to consign her life to caring for her family for the rest of her days. Therefore, giving the ring is a symbol to her and the world that she will not reach the category of "Old Maid".
3. Stops a spur of the moment proposal:
If you are in a romantic setting, feeling the intensity of the moment, you might be tempted to ask someone to marry you who you really are not compatible with in other aspects of your life. If this happened and you failed to marry the lady in question, you might be legally responsible for a breach of promise.
A breach of promise occurs when a lady accepts a proposal and expects a marriage to occur. If at a later time, the man decides that he no longer wishes to marry her - the lady in question can sue the man for emotional injury and recovery of any costs incurred up to that point toward the wedding.
Breach of promise lawsuits can still be brought in today's society.
Just remember - many a man has woke up in Las Vegas and found himself married to a stranger.
4. Visual Proof:
When you are apart, she will have a reminder that you love her and cherish her. She can display the ring to family and friends when announcing the engagement. She can sit and stare at the ring and dream of the wedding, the honeymoon and the rest of your life spent happily together.
To some people, an engagement ring is just some metal with a stone and if we only used our brains, the reasoning behind the giving of a ring would seem insignificant in the grand scheme of life.
But the brain is not the organ that decides who we fall in love with, nor is it ultimately responsible for who we wish to marry.
The heart ultimately decides who makes our world complete and who we will spend the remainder of our days with.
To a woman who wants to be loved and cherished, an engagement ring is so much more than the brain can logically process:
An engagement ring is a promise of love, support and happiness from the man who they want to spend the rest of their life with. Its a shining example of companionship and fidelity. A promise of friendship and passion. Its the promise of a dream. A dream that the brain cannot begin to comprehend but the heart can fulfill.
Learn more about this author, Patricia Cox.
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Yes
by Krystle Hernandez
Created on: January 29, 2009
Too many people are enchanted by the idea of tradition. This simple notion is no different when it comes to marriage ceremonies. Many women, particularly in Western cultures, are firmly committed to the idea that if their partner wishes to marry them, they should go the traditional route and make a formal proposal, along with a formal engagement ring. But, really, what is a ring? A piece of jewelry? An investment? A symbol?
Regardless of whether you believe an engagement ring to be a traditional symbol of your husband-to-be's commitment to you, I feel that it is important for women to be realistic when it comes to these matters.
In today's day and age, women have taken the opportunity to stretch the fabric of tradition. Some women choose rubies or emeralds rather than diamonds for their engagement ring's center stone. Other women would prefer their birthstones. And, some women opt for a single wedding band alone, with no engagement ring to speak of. Despite these "new-fangled" ideas, it seems that there are some women out there who are still concerned with whether an engagement can be considered legitimate if there is no engagement ring.
Traditionally speaking, engagement periods were either extremely long (as in betrothals that were contrived by parents seeking alliances with other families for financial, social, or political reasons) or extremely short ( a matter of months before an actual wedding date). In any case, engagements were intended to serve as a waiting period before an actual wedding date could take place.. Today, many couples do make the decision to become engaged and subsequently marry shortly thereafter. Other couples, however, simply make the declaration that they are "engaged" without any idea as to when their presumed nuptials will take place. In either case, when engagements are announced, both parties involved are typically announcing their commitment to one another and the decision to (eventually) marry.
Whether a couple decides to have a short engagement period or a lengthy one, the decision ultimately rests on the couple's shoulders. In any relationship, the two people involved, and no one else, should make choices concerning the relationship. That being said, it should not make a difference whether tradition dictates that an engagement ring is required for an engagement (or a proposal) to be made legitimate. If a couple wants to marry, and if the two individuals involved in that relationships are in agreement concerning their respective commitments to their relationship, then it should not matter whether there is an actual engagement ring or not.
The bottom line is that, while it may be nice to flash some bling and show off how much your future husband adores you, a ring is nothing more than an inanimate object that merely symbolizes the love that two people share. After years of marital bliss or strife a ring will be the least of your concerns. Although your engagement ring may serve as a constant reminder of a beautiful memory, you and your partner should not feel limited to traditional symbols when you want to express your love for one another. That being said, without a doubt, an engagement is indeed an engagement, with or without the ring.
Learn more about this author, Krystle Hernandez.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
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