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Are children's habits learned from their parents?
Results so far:
| No | 9% | 51 votes | Total: 566 votes | |
| Yes | 91% | 515 votes |
No
by Freyda Tartak
Created on: August 31, 2009 Last Updated: September 01, 2009
Children are information sponges and our society is on information overload. It is impossible not to be bombarded with images and sounds that may leave a less than desirable impression on a young mind. When considering that a habit is really something that initially seemed to feel good so it was done again and again to keep feeling good, it is wrong to lay blame on parents or anybody else.
Sure, it can be argued that a bad example can influence a child to take on something that will become a habit. However, if this child was prone to that activity it was only a matter of time before they would have discovered it another way. It is impossible to predict how a child will react to anything and what will become a habit that needs to be addressed. To illustrate the point let's look at some of the typical bad habits:
Thumb Sucking
Few adults suck their thumbs. It should be fair to say that this is something babies and small children are very good at discovering their own. Still, this can be one of the toughest behaviours to alter and some do end up taking it into their adulthood.
Sloppiness
When parents do not take proper care of their things and live in an untidy way it is easy to assume that their children will also live like slobs. If children are not taught otherwise, it will be very hard to learn how to keep their room tidy. On the other hand, if this argument is to stand then parents that live in a very tidy environment should expect the same of their kids. Why then are "pick up your toys" and "go clean your room" such common refrains?
Personal Hygiene
Parents that have poor personal hygiene habits may have a tough time passing on good habits to their children. But, how then should it be explained when two identical twins live in the same home, with the same parents and one takes very good care of themselves and the other lets things slide?
The habits children select are the ones that make them feel comfortable and secure. Even negative habits such as thumb sucking, messiness, and poor personal hygiene become part of how that person copes with stress and defines their personal space. To blame this on the parents is to not give the child enough credit as a living, breathing, thinking and feeling human being.
Learn more about this author, Freyda Tartak.
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Yes
by Jade LaFemme
Created on: February 16, 2009 Last Updated: February 17, 2009
A child's ability to understand the world around them is much more acute than many adults give them credit for. They may not be fully developed enough to be able to come right out and say "Well gee Mom, I heard you and Dad fighting last night and it really scared me", but they understand the emotions of what went on. They can feel the hostility, the tension, the anger. The younger the child, the sharper their ability to empathize.
A child's mind is like a sponge from the minute they draw their first breath; everything is new and fascinating. They learn rather quickly what noises and facial expressions adults make that will garner a certain type of response from them. Rage, sadness, delight; they store away it all from the moment their blurry little eyes finally clear. They register the good right along with the bad, and they hold onto it as they grow.
After a child turns two, they start to remember things. They think about how Mommy was putting on her make-up, and they imitate her while playing dress-up one day. The child grows older and hears Mommy talking to herself while looking in the mirror a different time, commenting on how she needs to go on a diet. Her daughter, not having any sense of perception, therefore no concept of what beauty is, thinks that maybe she should go on one too so she can be pretty like Mommy. A boy hears his father talk about his days in the Marines and how it was the best decision he ever made to join, and the boy eventually can be found playing "Army" with his school friends because he wants to grow up and be a Marine just like Daddy.
It isn't just what the parents aspire to be themselves that rubs off on their children, it's their mannerisms and neurosis as well. One day you will be going about your own life, minding your own business, and you'll catch yourself saying a phrase or making a noise that your mother did all the time. You could even wind up not realizing you have adapted that phrase or noise until someone points it out to you. You could say you will never wind up being an alcoholic or a drug addict constantly in and out of prison like your father was, then one day you find yourself offered a hit off of a pipe of some kind, and the life as you knew it is over.
Genetics are funny like that. They are nothing more than a grab bag and you won't know exactly what you've gotten until the day of realization comes to you, and you find yourself laughing at the irony of it all.
Learn more about this author, Jade LaFemme.
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