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| Yes | 65% | 216 votes | Total: 333 votes | |
| No | 35% | 117 votes |
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Add to FavoritesWould I wear a pre-owned wedding gown? Well yes I would; because I did!
My husband had been married before and had always told me he would never marry again. So imagine my surprise when he proposed to me after three years of being together. I thought I had been content enough to be with him and it did not matter that we were unwed. But I found I was completely thrilled at the thought of being a bride!
My future husband was a low-paid army NCO and with four children to pay child support for we were never going to have a great deal of money for the wedding. As we discussed the alternatives I reminded him that it had been a girlhood dream of mine to elope. I thought an elopement would be the most romantic way to start our married life and money could then go to a deposit on our first home together.
So it was agreed and then not too much planning was required from there on.
Our wedding date was set for a year on from our engagement. I knew I would miss out on much of the tradition of a typical wedding but the romance was going to make up for it.
My husband arranged the venue, witnesses and a video camera to capture the day. All I had to do was get a dress. But there was very little money for a dress. What was I to do?
Pre-loved wedding dresses were my only option. There are many bridal shops out there with a great range of beautiful wedding dresses. The cost of pre-loved can still be quite high but fit within a limited budget far easier than brand new. Besides saving money it could also be the traditional "something old" from the maxim most brides adhere to of "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue."
Still, being an indecisive girl I had not set on a wedding dress even one week before our due date. My husband knew me well and had already been making arrangements weeks in advance.
One day I arrived home from work and he asked if I had chosen a dress yet. Of course I hadn't though not through any lack of trying. And I was still very willing to wear a second-hand dress.
He took me to our wardrobe, covered my eyes, opened the door and said to take a look. Hanging up was a stunning and classic 1950s style wedding dress. It was floor length, full-skirted, with a cinched waist, sweetheart neckline and covered buttons down the sleeves and back. And the most beautiful thing about this wedding dress? It was pre-loved. It was my mother's wedding dress. How beautiful was this gesture of my husband? The last time I had seen this dress it was in pieces and terribly stained from age. My mother had been reworking it many years ago to be worn in religious duties. It was never going to be fit to be worn. But my husband took it to seamstresses and drycleaners and it looked as good as new.
My mother died when I was fifteen so here was a very real link to her for my wedding day. I have never forgotten the love my husband showed by providing a way for me to feel close to my mother on our wedding day. I would have worn any pre-loved dress on my big day but this was better than I could have imagined.
So how did the day pan out? As the most memorable and gorgeous day I could ever have hoped for. It was at our local registry, with army mates as witnesses. I had made my own bouquet and husband's buttonhole of white roses touched with splashes of greenery. We took our own photos and videos at the local botanic gardens on a warm, sunny day in August. And I wore the most special pre-loved dress imaginable and felt like a queen.
Learn more about this author, Elizabeth R Nelson.
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No
At first, my response to this question was no, until I sat down and really thought about this. I was thinking that I wouldn't wear a pre-owned wedding gown unless it was handed down in the family, or from someone I knew. If my mother, grandmother, etc. had worn the gown and it represented cherished memories of a happy life (or a dear friend who had worn the gown and also had happy memories associated with it) and they wanted me to wear it, to help ensure that it brought me some wonderful memories, then my answer would be yes.
The thought of wearing a wedding gown that was purchased from a second hand store and not knowing what had happened to the bride that wore this gown, or what happened to the bride that was suppose to wear this gown, brought to mind all sorts of terrible circumstances. So, not knowing who the gown came from, or what type of life this person had (or didn't have for that matter) then my answer would be no.
Maybe this way of thinking is due to watching too many horror movies that involved a bride on her wedding day. I can't help but think that if per chance something bad had happened to the previous bride that the gown was meant for, then it might hold some type of bad "vibes", or as some would say, just plain bad juju.
Then I thought of some of the regular clothes that I had purchased from those second hand stores, and realized that it was hypocritical thinking. If I would wear normal clothes that were pre-owned by someone I didn't know, then why not wear a pre-owned wedding gown as well? I don't know what happened to the people that previously wore some of the shirts or pants that I own now, and so far I haven't had any bad experiences that I could blame on my clothes.
But yet, I still don't think I would, because it would seem to be some sort of omen, in that if something bad happened to the first bride that had worn the gown, then maybe it would happen to me as well.
Hypocritical thinking? Probably yes, but on a wedding day that is meant to be cherished and to not have a single worry on the mind, I would just prefer not to have any doubts as to what the wedding gown might represent. And, I certainly wouldn't want some gruesome looking dead woman showing up on my wedding day, claiming that my dress was meant for her and she was going to do horrendous things to me now because I was wearing it.
After pondering this question, I have decided that if the gown were from a family member or a dear friend, and the gown was cherished because of the happy memories it represented, then I would be honored to wear the gown. If it came from an unknown bride and I did not know the circumstances that the gown represented, or rather what happened to the bride, then my answer would be no.
Learn more about this author, Sheryl Spencer.
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