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| No | 36% | 133 votes | Total: 367 votes | |
| Yes | 64% | 234 votes |
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Add to FavoritesThe debate under consideration is entitled "Should you wait until marriage for sex?" This is an open-ended question and depends solely on each individual making this important decision. Neither "yes" nor "no" is a correct answer. There is nothing wrong with waiting until marriage before becoming sexually active, and there is nothing wrong with not waiting (provided that one adheres to certain principles which I will explain in a moment). Rather, the question should be worded "Should teens be pressured or taught to wait until marriage for sex?", and I will write this article using this as a basis for my argument.
Provided that the unmarried couple is monogamous and free from any sexually-transmitted diseases, no health risks will arise that would not arise in a monogamous marriage. A marriage certificate does not ward off HIV, herpes, or other STDs, so provided that the teen couple is honest with each other, neither partner cheats on the other, and both enter the relationship with a clean slate health-wise, no difficulties will emerge that would not arise if the couple were married. Should an unplanned pregnancy occur, marriage in and of itself will not make the situation any better. Some argue that marriage provides stability for child rearing, however in reality it is loving, knowledgeable parents and a comfortable, steady income that are truly the stabilizing factors. The answer to the question should be "No: teens should not have to wait until marriage before having sex, but they should wait until they are financially and emotionally secure to deal with the consequences of an unplanned pregnancy should the situation occur." In many regions (including all of the United States), abortion is an option, but may understandably go against the morals of the expectant mother, who ultimately has the last say.
In the United States, marriage as recognized by the government has no sanctimonious or religious meaning. Rather, it is solely a form of recognized sexual relationship that grants certain legal rights to couples to make their lives easier (for example, being able to jointly file tax returns, hospital visitation rights, medical decision rights, adoption rights, and others). It is perfectly possible for two people of any age to form a committed and safe sexual relationship without these extra legal benefits. However, many people also view marriage as a religious institution that mandates it be the only form of relationship in which sexual activity is acceptable. If a teen holds such a religious belief, this is perfectly acceptable (as I point out in my introduction), however there are people who do not hold these religious beliefs, and these beliefs should not be forced upon them.
My third and final argument is that marriage is not yet available for all the world's people. Not all teenagers develop attraction for the opposite sex, which as of 2008, is the only form of attraction that can enable one to enter into a marriage contract in most of the world. Many teenagers and adults seek relationships with the same sex, and are thus legally unable to be married in most regions. To say that everyone should wait until marriage before having sex is to say that gay and lesbian individuals living in countries or states that do not recognize same-sex marriage should never develop sexual relationships.
While marriage provides many legal benefits, as well as fulfilling a spiritual and religious function for some (but not all), a teenager should not be pressured to wait until entering into this form of relationship before having sex. Rather, s/he should wait until s/he is emotionally ready, responsible enough to understand the risks, and knowledgeable of safer-sex practices. This is an important decision and one that should not be made on a whim, however, logistically speaking, the state of not being married does not necessarily make sex any more dangerous than it would be with that little piece of paper.
Learn more about this author, William Santagata.
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Yes
Some of us would take "No" for an answer, reasoning out that sex is not the only thing about marriage. But I shall tell you why is it important to wait until marriage for sex and hence it should be waited.
ASSURANCE IN MARRIAGE
With marriage as the key to physical intimacy, it gives both parties in the marriage assurance. When you say no to sex to your fianc or fiance, it does not necessary mean disappointment only. Although one may feel disappointed, confidence do increase.
You are more confident that he or she would be faithful to you.
To Asians, chastity is highly regarded. Though it's a sexist view, most Asian men would want their wives to be virgins before their marriage.
Humans are born selfish; they want their spouses for themselves only.
If sex and children were not waited until marriage, then marriage' would merely mean the unity of two individuals under law.
Although it is not wrong to have sex before marriage, but your other half would greatly appreciate it. It is like you two are made for each other.
In today's society, divorces and remarriages occur frequently. It should be noted that although people do celebrate remarriage, it is not the same or as celebrated as the first marriage.
Chinese females remarrying into a family cannot go through the same traditional customs. For example, they cannot go into the house through the main gate or door; their entry into the home must be from the side gate or rear gate. It is somehow an act of despise against them, because of their lost chastity. It is a traditional customs that are still practiced in parts of Asia.
You may find it absurd for people to keep such practices, but the intent is not really that bad. They want women to "shou3 fu4 dao4" (abide to the honored women's way of life), that is unmarried women must keep their chastity for their one and only husband.
BOTH PARTIES FEEL GOOD
That kind of practice makes both parties feel good (when the female marrying into the family is a virgin and not a divorcee) because:
1) The man is assured that he is marrying a virgin 2) The woman marrying into the family does not feel that she has short-changed her husband of anything.
And the practice ultimately cultivated people's respect for marriage, and that is the utmost important element in keeping a marriage going healthy.
PREPAREDNESS IN STARTING A FAMILY
Teens (unmarried) should not be going into sex because accidents do occur and they are not ready for the consequences. In many Asian cultures, people go into marriages (ironically) because of accidents in pre-marital sex. The girl got pregnant and the couple is forced into marriage. This is still in practice in some Asian culture, and going for abortion or not going into marriage would actually bring shame to the family or sometimes disallowed due to religious reasons. In the olden days of over a century ago, such women would be drowned in the presence of the family. In today's society, the practice of drowning a woman who does not "shou3 fu4 dao4" is illegal but the shame that would bring upon her family would be immense.
There can be many issues bring about by pre-marital sex. The girl may get pregnant accidentally and this can have a large impact on both parties' life. If the couple were to get married of the accidental pregnancy, there is absolutely inadequate planning, not only for the couple, but for the child as well. Such marriages usually come to meet alot of problems in life. If the couple were to choose abortion as an option, it is also as good as taking away the right of another to come to this world. The couple (especially the girl) would feel very guilty and depressed.
STABILIZIN G A MARRIAGE
Another thing is if your partner were willing to wait until marriage for sex, he or she would be willing to keep the sexual intimacy for you only. You are more certain that your partner is faithful and both of you are respecting sex as much as your marriage and this has a very strong stabilizing effect on your marriage. There are many wonderful things to wait until marriage; a good and healthy marriage is worth the wait.
Learn more about this author, Alexius Tan.
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