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Add to FavoritesYouth sports, such as Little League, which are supposed to be about the kids having a good time playing a game, and hopefully gaining good sportsmanship and socialization skills, are not about the children anymore. Furthermore, the rights of our children are being trampled by both parents and league officials. What rights, you may ask? How about the right to play as children? They are not miniature adults to be ordered around. How about the right to feel secure in a safe and healthy situation? An 8-year-old should never have to fear being punished or bullied by an adult simply because he dropped a ball in the field and allowed the other team to score a run.
While it is good to urge your child to do her best, many parents put entirely too much pressure on their children to win at all costs, and as a result it is no longer a fun game. In an article on his website (http://www.mindbody andsports.com/), Dr. Ronald Kamm, sports psychiatrist and family therapist in Oakhurst, NJ states, "It's gotten out of control. Instead of being enjoyable, for many children it has become an anxiety-filled experience." As if childhood is not anxiety-ridden enough, parents are now insinuating it into the child's fun and games.
Of course, not all parents over-pressure their child to win. That's good, but there are other situations that can make a child feel anxious or fearful. For example, when did it become okay for an over-protective mom to rush out on the field when she disagrees with an umpire's call and screams at him in his face? At what point is it acceptable for a narrow-minded dad to beat up a coach because the coach took his homerun-hitting son out of the game to allow another, less talented boy or girl to play, thus jeopardizing the chances of a team victory in this dad's tiny little mind?
I've read articles from news sites over the last few years, where parents were actually arrested and charged with assault. For example, a New Jersey father was arrested for punching out an umpire over a call in a little league game. In Kentucky, a father walked out onto the field during a game for 5- and 6-year-old children and started a fight with an official, and when the argument came to blows, an innocent little girl playing in the game also got hit in the face. When things like this happen, how is it about the children? And what are the children learning from adults when they behave like bullies?
Lest we forget, it's not always the parents that are at fault. What about the overly aggressive coach who is so desperate to coach a winning Little League team that he will do anything to get there? He pushes a 6-year-old child so hard to excel on the field that the child begins to dread the actual game because he knows the coach is going to browbeat him in front of all his friends when he can't run fast enough on his little legs to make it from second base to the home plate safely? What child doesn't get enough bullying from the big kid at the end of the block that he needs additional intimidation tactics from an adult who is supposed to be his mentor?
It's sad enough that these aggressive and violent actions occur at all. What is sadder still is the alarming rate at which they are happening in all youth sports, not just Little League. It's clearly not about children having fun anymore. Anyone who is so deluded as to think Little League is still all about the children probably needs to see a doctor.
Learn more about this author, Gina Ronat.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Children
With the start of summer many parents will be spending their evenings and weekends at baseball fields. They will be cheering their child on, supporting them in their achievements, and keeping their spirits up if they make a mistake. How many of us though have witnessed outbursts from parents and coaches? More than we care to.
Little league baseball is supposed to give kids a chance to have fun, meet new friends, build confidence, and teach kids how to work together as a team to achieve a common goal. But for some parents and coaches it's much more than that! We as parents and coaches have forgotten what it was like to be a kid, and what is important.
The American Footwear Association surveyed 10,000 children about what is important to them when they play a sport. What's surprising to adults is winning at all cost is not number one. Actually it's 10th on the list of what's important to children playing sports. The number one answer by children was, to have fun followed by meeting new friends.
Lately youth sports are about the parents and not the child. Some reasons parents and coaches act this way is they feel there child's success is a reflection of how good a parent they are and that people will see them as a failure. For others, they are living vicariously through their kids, because they did not succeed as athletes and they are able to bask in the success of their child. Either way, we as adults are putting entirely too much pressure on our children to be the best, that we lost sight of what is important.
Let's face it, our children our not playing in game seven of the World Series, and their future multimillion dollar contract does not depend on their performance. Though that's the type of pressure we put on our children. I have witnessed many occasions when a parent or coach has gotten upset at a child for not playing well. Most of us are able to control our emotions but some parents take it too far, and in some cases becoming verbally and physically abusive toward the child. It has even become a bigger issue that leagues have gone to parents signing a code of conduct contract, and if they don't their child would not play. In Jupiter FL they held the nation's first mandatory sportsmanship training program for parents. It outlined what is appropriate behavior so that parents clearly understood their roles and responsibilities in the youth sports environment. Psychologist even coined a term for this. It's called Little League Parent Syndrome or (LLPS). Named for those adults who get so wrapped up in their children's athletic success, that they yell, scream, verbally abuse, and occasionally get physically abusive. This is a time for a child to learn new skills and let them know it's OK if they do not win. What's important is they gave it 100% effort and had fun playing the game.
We all want to see our children succeed and be the best. Even I'm guilty of dreaming about my child getting an athletic scholarship to a big time university or being a professional athlete. Just think of the bragging rights a parent would have if that is their child out there. But when you look at how many children play youth sports, half of them will go on to play sports in high school. And from that half, less than one percent will get a major athletic scholarship or become a professional athlete.
With all the stress and pressure that comes with life. Let's give our children a chance to be kids. To experience and learn new things. Every day in a child's life is a new wonder. They are not thinking about the future saying they have to win and play through injuries to prove they are the best. When they are grown up and are out in the real world it won't matter one bit that they won or lost a little league game when they were in grade school. What they will cherish is the fun they had as a child. Having the chance to run and play with friends. It's time to lighten up parents and coaches, you have to let a kid be a kid.
Learn more about this author, Matt Moore.
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