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Add to FavoritesThe people with a mental illness cannot successfully marry.
Marriage is a meeting of two minds and two bodies, for better or for the worse. The first pre-requisite of a marriage is that both the spouses should be mentally healthy and compatible so that they can tide over adversities that come their way, till they die. If one of them is mentally ill then it is not at all possible. Mental sickness is often diagnosed in such cases and is different from the mental stresses that occurs post marriage for variety of acquired reasons, which the two can cope. Obviously, if a mentally sick person decides to marry, he would choose a mentally healthy spouse who has to bear the brunt of his moods, depressions, violence and sometimes admission to a mental hospital. This is a great stress for the healthy spouse, however much they are in love. The love is squandered in the daily grind and life becomes a heavy burden. It also affects the parents of both the spouses and creates unhappiness for them too. Most of the mental illnesses are hereditary in nature and the children too suffer from mental disorders immediately or later in life. The family life of a mentally sick person is far from ideal and the children are not brought up in a healthy atmosphere. The daily violence, in cases where patients become violent, drug abuse, verbal abuse or brooding atmosphere tells upon the health of the children and the healthy spouse. Life in short becomes a hell for all. I see this daily in the family of a schizophrenic man in my neighbourhood. The wife, son and mother of the man have to bear daily ordeal of physical and verbal abuse. He is suspicious of everyone due to disease and refuses treatment, fearing poisoning. The whole family looks like a skeleton with little social interaction. The paternal family of the wife is helpless and can't free their daughter from the ordeal as he refuses to divorce and threatens to kill everyone. The mental institutes are full of women and men who have been admitted by their spouses as they couldn't cope up with their illnesses. The children of such families are left to fend for themselves as nobody looks after them.
The mentally ill have little to offer in a married relationship by way of partnership, responsibility, caring, sharing, loving, passion and a healthy relationship but they do make hell, out of countless lives.
The mentally ill people do deserve love and affection of the mate, which they can get out of an open relationship, where the other has an exit door but not in a committed and binding relationship of a marriage where there is no way of escape for the other. We cannot sacrifice a number of healthy individuals for the sake of gratification of one ill person. And yes, the mentally ill, should be advised to remain childless as the hereditary illnesses can destroy many generations.
They need our compassion, medical care and support but marriage: an emphatic, No!
Learn more about this author, Jasmin Nanda.
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Yes
A marriage that includes a diagnosed partner with a mental disorder or defect has a 100% chance of success. Vows of honesty, trust and passionate day-to-day support are the key elements of any successful functioning marriage or partnership.
"People who don't realize mental illnesses are as real as heart disease or cancer and require and respond well to treatment tend to keep their symptoms and feelings to themselves," says Oscar Morgan, chief operating officer of Mental Health America. "But understanding that mental illness isn't a weakness or defect in character helps people seek help and proper treatment so they can achieve wellness and balance."
"People who experience emotional disorders don't have to suffer without help," Morgan says. "It's entirely possible to mend the mind through therapies and support services. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It's a sign of strength, not weakness."
"Every year, one in four Americans suffers from a diagnosable mental disorder that interferes with their ability to function at work or school or in their daily lives, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Some people may have more than one mental disorder."
Healthline'
The key to successful living with any type of diagnosable disorder, mental or physical is getting good treatment. Treatment for diagnosed mental disorders require an active support group, prescribed medications, mental illness awareness and education combined with group therapy, one on one therapy and consistent effort to use the resources available for this biological disease.
I firmly believe that personal disorders of any kind communicated immediately bring the basic honesty to the relationship. Not only is honesty necessary for psychological compatibility but most diagnosed mental disorders are biological giving way to the possibility of carrying the disease to the children of a marriage union.
This honesty of mental disorders between two people considering marriage must be complete with both parties informed by professionals of all side effects of the disorder in question. Honesty combined with education of both families and friends involved directly or indirectly with this marriage is necessary.
National Association of Mental Illness or NAMI is the most widely used source of information in the nation for the treatment steps or to begin any process of suspected mental disorder of a loved one, friend, family member, colleague or oneself.
NAMI chapters are growing quickly in your town and neighborhoods as mental illness becomes more and more recognized as a treatable biological disease. The chapter locations are listed in the Yellow Pages and usually in the daily city newspapers.
The initial goal prior to any legal commitment or marriage with the factor of diagnosed mental illness requires research and professional advice of both parties.
The most important factor, as with any partnership, is complete honesty.
70% of a long and successful marriage or partnership that includes mental illness is love and understanding of each partner equally.
10% is good support system, good reliable therapeutic advice, and bi-monthly medication consultations.
20% of consistent educational training and daily communication regarding each other's state of mind morning, noon and night.
Mental Illness and Marriage
Dr. Mak Ki Yan, MBBS (HK), MRC Psych (UK),
DPM (Eng)
Clinical Facts
"Marriage itself is a major life event, and
according to Holmes and Rahe6, it has a 'stress
score' of certain life change units.
Quite often,
marriage is associated with home moving or
changing jobs, each of which has a score for itself.
The hypothesis states that if a person accumulates
200 or more such units within a year, he is prone
to develop a physical or psychiatric illness.
Stressors within marriage are the birth or death of
a child, conflicts with in-laws, time discipline, etc.
If a person, however, is already vulnerable or
has a pre-existing psychiatric problem, such
stressors in life can induce or precipitate the
occurrence or relapse of a mental illness.
Marriage can theoretically impose
some harm on the mental health of a person.
On the other hand, marriage can also offer
a very good support system to withstand the stresses.
The contentment of establishing a family, the
support from an understanding spouse, the
gratification of sexual experience and the joy of
children at home, etc. can be psychologically beneficial."
Conclusion of Clinical
"Psychological problems in marriage are not
limited only to those mentioned above.
Psychosexual problem is a major issue that merits
a separate account and discussion. Just as
important is the psychological problems occurring
among their children, which is particularly severe
in broken marriages.
From the above discussion, it is obvious that a
marriage can be a boom or a bane, a curse or a
blessing, to the couples concerned. Prevention is
always better than cure; and early treatment is
better than late or no treatment.
By understanding the factors at risk,
and the various syndromes in
marriage, it is hoped that such psychopathologies
can be detected early enough for prompt and
proper intervention or treatment. "
One major form of Mental Illness of this century is Bipolar Disorder I or II. It is a mental disorder that at times is diagnosed late in adulthood making it a major daily struggle of both parties in an on-going marriage. This is where the hard work comes in to play.
Partners of mentally ill spouses deserve extra credit, compassion, awards of merit and alone time'. Dealing with the rapid emotional cycling of Bipolar I is extremely hard for the partner. Counseling, online researching are two very important duties of a life-partner.
Rapid cycling may occur within hours, minutes, seconds or move to weekly or monthly. Extreme medication consultation is necessary for this particular biological mental disorder.
Patience, understanding, education, counseling and family support will keep a marriage of this dynamics successful and rewarding.
People with mental illness can successfully marry and stay married with extra love,communicational support of compassion and understanding with patience of both partners and family members.
Through Sickness and Health, Rich or Poor, till death do we Part'
Learn more about this author, Michele Marie Friend Metiva.
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