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by Angie Lewis

Created on: February 18, 2010   Last Updated: February 19, 2010

The best way to teach our young men and women about purity is not going to a purity ball, but teaching them Godly values when they are young. Instilling values in our children is the greatest gift a parent can offer their children. Dating and everything associated with dating is what causes young people to have sex before marriage. Young Christian people can develop a new attitude about dating and start a whole new slate with God. Here's how.

Many of you reading this may have already made the mistake of having romantic attachments and a faulty attitude when it comes to dating. But rest assured all of this can be changed with the right attitude and biblical steps that put you on the right foundation. Whatever your circumstances were in the past, and no matter what the circumstances are today, you can begin to build and maintain a lifestyle of purity in your relationships.

Start With a New Heart and Mind (Attitude) About Dating

To build a new attitude we must first tear down the old attitude and start with a clean slate. “What was done was done” as the saying goes. God loves us greatly and gives us the opportunity to seek His ways rather than our own. Ask God to give you a new heart and a new mind by turning away from the old lifestyle in which you based your relationships on and repent of the old attitudes in your sincerity.

Repentance is a change of direction based on a changed heart. Pray for this new direction and God will help you along the way. Have you acted selfishly or carelessly in your relationships with the opposite sex? Have you sacrificed purity for feelings? Perhaps you are in an improper romantic relationship now? Will you need to break it off so you can begin to develop a new attitude about dating?  Probably so.

Ask God to give you the courage and faith to do His will. Don’t underestimate the power of God working in your life. Remember all believers have the power of the Holy Spirit within them - seek the wisdom and principles of Jesus Christ and ask Him to help you build a new foundation in Him. 

Talk With Parents About Helping You Keep a Clean Slate

Once you have buried the past and it is dead and gone, you can now develop a new attitude dependent upon a Godly foundation. Ask your parents to help you maintain a clean slate through accountability. Accountability is very important in maintaining a new heart and mind about your relationships.

Don’t hide your relationships from your parents; instead talk to them about any new relationships or new friendships that you would like to get to know better. Be accountable for your actions and have your parent’s involvement in any decision-making. Hopefully your parents will be giving you wisdom based on their love for Christ. Building a new foundation starts with Godly wisdom and accountability, both of which should come from your parents, which they receive from God.

Of course, Jesus Christ and His principles show us the way to being accountable for our actions, having the support and encouragement of parents is a blessing in disguise. When young people hide their relationships from their parents it can result in not understanding God’s wisdom for their lives. Remember that no matter what, having a good relationship with Jesus Christ will put Him at the top of your priority list and will help you to live a life that is pleasing to Him. Prayer is your gateway to a close relationship with Jesus Christ.

Establish Protective Guidelines For Your Relationships

If we want to maintain a new heart and mind toward purity then we’ll have to make some protective guidelines for ourselves that keep us from being tempted when with the opposite sex. This is one reason why I wrote in our new book about having “friendships in the Lord”, which only means pure friendships with the opposite sex.

An excellent guideline, in my opinion for Christian single people to follow is never be alone in the same room with someone of the opposite sex. Invite them over to your home only when your parents or roommate or someone else is there with you. Only meet them at events and functions where there are other people. This is how you keep yourself from being tempted. Put protective guidelines in place according to your circumstances.

Finding New Friends

You may find that your old friends are too obsessed with dating, sex, romance and the opposite sex. This will definitely be a determent to your sexual and emotional purity. The fact is, if you truly want to lead a Godly life and put on a new attitude about your relationships, you may need to cut off your old friends and find new friends in the Lord.

Your old friends may mean well, but they just aren’t on the same track as you when it comes to sexual and emotional purity.

Friends can surely influence your heart and mind, and keeping company with friends of bad morals is a bad idea! Of course, pray for your friends and forgive them for their trespasses. I would strongly evaluate their negative influence on your new walk with Jesus Christ. The tables should really be turned here because it is YOU who should be a Godly influence to them! Let your friends see Jesus Christ working on your character so they may turn their life around too!

Learn more about this author, Angie Lewis.
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