Self

by Ira Woodward

Created on: March 31, 2008

I don't think there is any clear cut answer to this question. Instead I think each individual needs to decide for him/herself based on an assessment of a variety of factors. These include a person's priorities, his or her needs, and his or her abilities. The other articles here will give you a general idea of the difference between working for a company and working for yourself. I will use myself as an example to show you how you might analyze this question and make a decision that's best for you.

For myself, I want my life to be about helping other people. I would like to paraphrase historian Howard Zinn, who said if you build houses, build them for the poor. If you tend the sick, tend to the poor. And as he has done, if you write history, write it about the poor. Also, I start from the assumption that, as Zinn said, "you can't be neutral on a moving train;" we live in an unequal world and those of us who benefit from that inequality such as myself are responsible for doing something to make the world a more equal and just place.

I think my goals can be met in many ways in a conventional job, for example as a teacher. After all, teachers are responsible for helping children grow up to be responsible and healthy adults, an incredibly important task. However, one has to consider the constraints on people in any conventional job. For example, these days teachers are limited by the demands of standard state curricula, the need to teach to standardized tests, enormous class sizes, the need to control students who often don't want to be in class, and the loads of paperwork associated with grading. For myself, these factors tend to make me shy away from this job, since I hate paper work and don't like telling other people what to do.

In any job one has to deal with a boss and usually an authoritarian political environment. I've always chafed against these kinds of limitations of my freedom. Also, one has to deal with a schedule and deadlines, and I find I'm more productive and happier when I have more control over when I do what tasks. I can pay attention to my moods and do things as my spirit moves me.

Finally, in my own case I have physical limitations; I have a low physical endurance for sitting and standing, and I also am physically weak and generally lack endurance. My voice is also damaged and I'm limited how much I can talk during the day. For these reasons, I need to be able to vary my activities and my posture throughout the day, and I need to avoid physically demanding work except in small doses. For all of these reasons, I have decided that a conventional 40 hour per week job is out of the question for me.

This has left me to think about how I'd like to live my life given that I won't be queuing up to join the rat race. One possibility is public assistance in my case. Although this is a fairly small income, I do like to live cheaply, shopping at garage sales and Goodwill, getting food from dumpsters, getting around by bicycle or bus, and living with other people to lower housing costs. These are lifestyle choices that allow for flexibility in that you need less money.

Still, I may not be able to depend on public assistance, and in any event some other source of income would be nice. For this reason I'm exploring writing from home, since I can do it lying down on my laptop. Other personal experiences have led me to a different idea for a lifestyle outside of the normal mold.

I am a victim of child abuse and have struggled for almost my entire life to free myself from the mental shackles generated by that experience. However, in my success at gaining my freedom, by forgiving my parents for what they did to me, I realized that I have tools which allow me to help others struggling with the same difficulties. I am very forgiving and willing to apologize, I'm very loyal, I'm hardcore, I know how to make people feel special, I can sympathize with victims of abuse, and I am good at reading people and listening to them. I also care a lot about other people.

I have thus cobbled together a vision: I can help to create an organization that caters to the needs of those who have inadequate resources to grow up on their own; victims of abuse and neglect who need the love and emotional support that will give them the strength to take responsibility for their own lives. If I involve other people in this plan, everything should work out. I need other people for a variety of reasons. One is financing; other people I know can donate some of their income to fund the project. Also I have weaknesses and limitations too. I need co-workers to compensate for these.

For example, I am gullible, I have trouble standing up for myself, I'm physically weak, I'm overwhelmed easily, I lack discipline, I'm inconsistent, I distrustful, I'm indecisive, and I'm a terrible procrastinator. So I need to find other people who can work with me in this project who have strengths that I don't share. Also, their contacts and connections would provide a larger base of potential donors to fund the effort.

This general vision and plan gives me something to work toward and helps me decide what to do in the here and now. For example, I'm exploring Helium.com as a source of income. Also, I'm planning to volunteer at a shelter that helps the people we call "mentally ill" (I don't like the term but I'll use it for lack of a better one.) This way I can gain skills in working with people who need help, and I can also gain contacts with others who might be interested in joining me in my long term project. I'm working on shoring up damaged relationships with other friends who could be potential allies in this project as well as in other areas of my life.

I hope this essay is useful for those dealing with the issue of how and why to choose a path in life. I would like to end by encouraging other people to share here their own personal journeys in tackling the question of how to finance lives lived the way they want. I think sharing such personal information is of benefit to us all in our own journeys (plus its fun to read!)

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