No

by Freyda Tartak

Created on: November 13, 2009   Last Updated: November 16, 2009

The essence of this argument is that there is a gap to be filled. Although there certainly are lazy dads who can pull more weight, the same can be said of the moms. There have and always will be fathers that make excellent caregivers and are much more nurturing than their female counterpart. The fact is that the gap is not the fault of individual people but, of society, as a whole.

Our culture is built on an antiquated model where division of the sexes was essential. Men were hunters and women were nurturers in every sense of the word. This was mandated by the fact that women gave birth and had to breast feed and were, therefore, bound to a geographic location. There was no birth control and no modern medicine. People did not live long and there was no shortage of children and infirm to be taken care of. In the mean time, they needed to eat and so somebody had to leave the homestead to find, capture, and kill the food.

But, times have changed. Human needs have evolved to such a degree that aside from giving birth to the child, it is possible for either sex to do any, all, or none of the tasks essential to survival. The only thing that has not changed is human perception of societal norms and obligations based on gender.

Even a few decades ago it was possible for just one spouse to financial support the family. These days both parents pretty much have to work. It isn't a choice. We are having less kids and it costs more to sustain them.

But, with both parents at work, who is going to fill the gap? Homes still need to be cleaned, laundry to be done, meals to be prepared, children to be nurtured... not to mention, carted around to and from school and a multitude of after-curricular activities.

For a couple of decades people tried to fill this void with TV dinners and fast food, with electronic babysitters, and just plain neglect. There were always grumblings but, what could we do? Fortunately, the glass ceiling is cracking.

Even though women had entered the workforce, few were given positions of true power. Now that the second most powerful position in the most powerful super nation in the world is occupied by a woman, we can start to talk about true change.

Yes, women are overloaded, under appreciated, and suffocating under a load of often conflicting responsibilities. But, the answer is not to shift the same load between the sexes. This is not a gender issue. It is one of socioeconomic revolution.

The 9-to-5, five days a week at the office, rigidity of modern business does not work. Women cannot, and should not be expected to spend more time away from their children than they spend with them. Flexible schedules, teleworking, reduced work weeks, and on-site daycare are all effective ways of bridging gaps. Why not look at the system, instead of pointing fingers at scapegoats?

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