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Should you dump your husband for another married man?
Results so far:
| Yes | 14% | 152 votes | Total: 1083 votes | |
| No | 86% | 931 votes |
Yes
by Lj Jaime Cordle
Created on: July 16, 2009 Last Updated: July 18, 2009
Should You Dump Your Husband For Another Married Man?
Heck yes! Dump the jerk! Another married man? Well, who is he? Another jerk?
I am an old guy with quite extensive experience in three broadly defined cultures: U.S.A., Western Europe and Latin America. All three of these cultures have much in common when it comes to marriage: It is often a nightmare! It is a nightmare for both women and men.
Wow! How lucky people are if they find someone with whom they can live in peace and grace. It really doesn't matter whether they marry that person. It is just so nice to be with someone who is sympathetic and kind.
But, such cases are, statistically, pretty rare.
I am a male feminist. So, women, do not attack immediately. I have lived long enough to have enjoyed the good old days when I did whatever I pleased and my woman just had to endure because she had no apparent economic choice.
Well, I did enjoy it! I had a woman who knew her place-. She absolutely depended on me. We had two beautiful children. We both loved them. She was not enough sexually. So I did what I wanted to do with any woman attractive and available to me. For me, it was a great life.
But then, in the mid 1960's, things changed. She began to see other possibilities, she studied. She found a job which paid her well. She went out into the world. She met a fellow a few years younger than she. She eventually left the jerk (me). She and the new fellow have been happy for years. She made a decision which was very beneficial to her.
There are, of course, many related questions. This woman and I both loved our children. We were not vindictive. We both did everything possible to advance the happiness and well being of the children. And they really prospered. Their mother was much more happy than she would have been with me. I was much more happy than I would have been with her. The kids spent time with both of us. They developed into well adjusted and successful adults.
As in all such emotional situations, the true key to successful resolution is the level of maturity and good will of the people involved. Be grown up! Do not be vindictive! Accept that marriage is very difficult and that you may be with an individual with whom you will never be able to live!
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No
by Julie Michael
Created on: March 08, 2008 Last Updated: February 24, 2009
If you are considering dumping your husband for another married man, ask yourself- "What would this achieve?" If this doesn't make sense, think of it another way. What would be the purpose of breaking up two marriages, rather than just one?
Even if you are unhappy with your husband and are thinking of leaving him, you shouldn't leave him for another man at all. Let's think about this for a few moments. If you're unhappy with your husband, there is a better way to deal with it than to leave him for another man- especially a married man.
If you are so unhappy with your husband, that you're considering leaving him for another man- ask yourself why you're thinking that another man would be the answer to your unhappiness. Do you really believe that your unhappiness would be solved by finding another person? Usually unhappiness in a relationship isn't about other people, it's a combination of the two people in the relationship.
When considering leaving your husband, think about whether or not this decision is a last resort. Consider talking to your husband about your unhappiness, see if there's a way you two can work through your issues; Is counseling an option? Is there a way to spend more time getting to know your husband again? Can you rekindle the flame?
If you absolutely decide that you can not work things out with your husband, and you feel that leaving is the only option, then sit your husband down and explain to him that you've decided to leave. If you can, give him a reason. Be truthful, but try to avoid hurting him unnecessarily.
DO NOT dump your husband just because of another man. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. And if it's a married man you're considering, think about how you would feel if you were in his wife's shoes. Why break up two marriages? Very seldom are marital problems unworkable; even if your marriage can't be fixed, doesn't mean the other couple's can't.
Don't end two marriages simply because you feel yours can't be fixed; Leave someone else's husband alone. Chances are, if the married man you want to leave your husband for is willing to leave his wife for you- he'd end up being willing to do the same thing to you.
If you want to leave your husband, do it because you feel that your marriage truly can't be salvaged. Don't dump your husband for another man- especially not a married man. To do that, would be to end two marriages- which is hardly fair to anyone involved, especially if there are children involved.
Learn more about this author, Julie Michael.
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