Parenting & Pregnancy >
Babies (Other)
Get a Widget for this title
RSS FeedShould new fathers receive as much FMLA leave as new mothers?
Results so far:
| Yes | 75% | 184 votes | Total: 245 votes | |
| No | 25% | 61 votes |
Yes
Write now
Print
Invite a writer™
Add to FavoritesThe world is a very different place today with regard to fathers than it was in the 1950's and 60's which is where many of our misconceptions towards parenthood still seem to lean towards. Fathers play a much more integrated role in the family structure and child raising activities than they have in the past. Unfortunately most government policies towards fathers have yet to catch up with the modern image of a father and instead cast fathers in the same distant and cold light that was once the tradition decades ago.
My father was the typical 1950's father who was the "bread winner" in the family. His primary duty in the single income household was to go to work and provide money for the family to survive. A secondary responsibility was that of the disciplinarian. Two roles that emerged from early formula's for families dating back to colonial times. It cast the husband and father in a distant, cold and authoritarian light. All the while the wives and mothers of American households were seen as the compassionate, supporting and loving elements of the homes. This is the typical image portrayed in most popular media broadcasts up through the 1960's and 70's.
With a divorce rate over 50% in the last ten years many households are single parent homes, throwing then entire image of the traditional two parent household out the window. Those rare exceptions in which you still have two parents more often than not result in both parents having to go off to work in order to support their families with the constantly increasing cost of living. In this more typical family mold of today the fathers roles are changed from provider and disciplinarian to a more integrated supporter of the family with more compassionate responsibilities and more direct interaction on a day to day level.
It is this new role of fatherhood that demands the same rights as mothers on all fronts, especially in situations in which a new child is brought into the house. While the mother has obvious medical necessities that demand her full attention and required time off, fathers must fill in the roles vacated by the mothers during these periods. This role is no less important or deserving than the mother's role. Unfortunately our government seems to have a difficult time seeing these points and in fact seeing past the traditional notion of family that died a very long time ago.
Our outdated and nave impression of what a traditional family is began to change over thirty years ago. Current census and IRS data supports this change by the sheer volume of dual income households that we have today. Not only have fathers adopted a more hands on approach to raising the kids, mothers have adopted a more outward facing role of provider for the families. The two roles of husband and wife, father and mother have changed dramatically in the past few decades. They have moved ever closer to equality with each other in their roles and responsibilities. There is a redundancy within the family structure that was never there before by which one can temporarily fill the role of the other, yet both still depend on their spouse for the quality of life they've come to expect.
The role of fathers has come a long way over the years. It wasn't all that long ago that the state would not allow a single father to raise his children. In the event of a mother's death the children would be scooped up and placed in foster homes or orphanages under the misguided impression that this was best for the children. Many of the same arcane philosophies towards fatherhood that fueled this draconian style of approach to government intervention still fuel the unjust and unfair practices imposed against fathers today. Such inadequate philosophies are what have resulted in the discrimination of fathers today by the current mandates of the Family Medical Leave Act. Society needs to level the playing field and give fathers the same rights afforded to mothers.
Learn more about this author, Joseph Whalen.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
No
Absolutely not! Don't mothers deserve a few extra benefits after surviving nine months of pregnancy and the nightmare of delivery? Moms need extra time to recover both physically and emotionally in the postpartum period. Dads should take time off to help mom recover and bond with their new baby, but isn't that what vacation weeks are for? A little help from the government if fine, but someone should be working to support your family!
The postpartum period lasts for three months after your baby is born. During this time a woman can suffer many physical ailments including vaginal bleeding and dryness, pain from an episiotomy or tearing, discomfort due to uterine contractions, hemorrhoids, constipation and a variety of posture and back related problems. How can you expect a woman to work while suffering from any of these?
A woman's emotional health is also critical during the postpartum period. Many women experience sadness, loneliness, anxiety, mood swings and even postpartum depression because of hormonal fluctuations. Although new fathers tend to worry about finances, parental ability and life changes, new moms worry about this too!
Mothers should be encouraged to breastfeed their baby for at least the first six months. Breastfeeding is the most natural and nutritious way to feed your baby. Breastfed babies are less likely to develop illnesses, infections and allergies, or be admitted to the hospital within their first year. Breast milk provides a customized combination of fats, sugars, minerals, proteins and enzymes that promote brain and body development in your baby. This combination cannot be replicated by any formula. Breastfeeding also helps moms lose weight and reduces their chances of osteoporosis and some types of cancer. Children and moms forfeit these benefits when dads stay home.
Right or wrong, there is a stigma attached to a stay-at-home dad. They are often mistakenly assumed to be gay, weird or unemployed. They have to take part in many activities that were formally considered "women's work", so should be able to wash the laundry, clean the house and cook a good healthy meal. Stay at home dads also complain of loneliness or lack of support in the community. They are often not included or feel intimidated by joining playgroups where no other men are present. Talking about women's issues always makes my husband run for the door screaming! Child socialization and interaction with their peers is very important in the early years and children with stay-at-home dads sometimes miss out on this.
Moms considering sharing a portion of their parental leave with their spouse should also consider the possible loss of income, difficulty their spouse may have departing and returning to their current career and peace of mind for the whole family before making their decision. I believe the majority of parental leave should be taken by the mother for her baby's health as well as her own. As a mother currently on an extended maternity leave from work, I may be a little biased, but would consider changing my views if the baby was adopted.
Learn more about this author, Tammy Lee White.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Difference of opinion? Debate now.
