Yes

by Kristin Francis

Created on: February 11, 2010

It’s that time of year when mass quantities of red, pink, and white roses wrapped tenderly in green tissue paper with satiny ribbon are sold.  Heart-shaped charms and engagement rings adorn every jewelry shop window.  Hallmark is raking in the cash thanks to the more than 152 million Valentine’s Day cards being given, which doesn’t include the cards exchanged by school kids.  And don’t forget, the millions of women with almost childlike eagerness awaiting their white knight to show up and shower them with the perfect Valentine celebration.

What exactly is the history of Valentine’s Day?  Why should Christians celebrate it?  While I feel that yes, as a Christian AND Catholic, we should celebrate the love and giving of St. Valentine's Day, I do not feel that we should celebrate it only as a way to show love towards a significant other.  In the true history of St. Valentine himself, it was in showing love to our fellow man.  There are many theories about St. Valentine and exactly what the reasoning of his becoming the patron saint of love and marriages.  Valentine was a holy Catholic priest that along with St. Maruis and his family helped those being persecuted under Claudius II. 

Claudius found that soldiers were better warriors if not married, and therefore, abolished nuptials for young men.  Valentine believed this to be unjust, continued to perform the holy ceremonies, and thus was arrested.  Whilst holding steadfast to his faith, the emperor sentenced him to horrific beatings and eventual death.  He was beheaded on February 14 circa 270 AD. 

But why would such a fateful tale become the holiday of love?  As saints are not to rest on their laurels, whether jailed or even dead (he was martyred in 269 AD), the rest of the story of St. Valentine is that while held captive, he met the jailer’s daughter and restored her sight.  He may have even fallen in love with her.  On the eve of his death, he wrote this young girl a note, signed, “From your Valentine.”  This legend, along with his belief in love and marriage and his history of performing ceremonies no matter the cost to his own well-being, makes perfect sense for our romantic ideals of Shakespearean-type love.

When archeologists located a Roman catacombs dedicated to St. Valentine around 496 AD, Pope Gelasius marked February 14th as the celebration of this martyrdom.  Other legends from this time are that mid-February was once the official beginning of spring.  Around the same time as Valentine’s death, there was a Lupercalia Festival.  During this fertility celebration, members of the Luperci Order of Roman priests would gather, sacrificing goats for fertility and dogs for purification.

During the sacrificial celebration, boys would run through the streets gently slapping girls with pieces of goat, in hopes of improved fertility.  The boys would then draw the name of a girl out of an urn.  This coupling would be for the next year, but would often result in marriage.  According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, during the middle ages there was a belief in England and France that around the middle of February, birds began their coupling, a sign of love.  Even the English author Geoffrey Chaucer wrote about this in “Parliament of Foules,” 

“for this was sent on seynt Valentyne’s day-

whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate.”

During the seventeen century in Great Britain, lovers and friends celebrating St. Valentine’s Day became popular.  Then in the eighteenth century, exchanging small tokens and notes began what is now the celebration of love that we know.

With this almost mystical quality, it is no wonder that the modern-day celebration of the holiday has its own magical significance.  Women wait with gleeful anticipation for the bouquet of flowers, the box of chocolates, or the best gift of all, a diamond engagement ring.  And men enjoy knowing that they will be praised as the one, or the most romantic, or the sweetest, when their wives or girlfriends get together and talk about their Valentine’s Day celebrations.

Couples dine at darkened restaurants with low music and high prices.  They dance to smoldering love songs and whisper sweet, romantic words in each other’s ears.  The stay in dreamy bed and breakfasts with rose petals on the bed and claw foot tubs big enough for two…and enough pressure to make any declaration of love appear, less than storybook perfect.

But what about those that Valentine’s Day does not offer that warm and fuzzy feeling of love and happiness?  What about that couple who lost a child and the day brings nothing but bitter questions of what if?  What of the wallflower that has nobody to send her love letters professing Prince Charming’s undying loyalty?  Or the uncoordinated geek that doesn’t have the confidence needed to ask out the pretty girl in science class?

For those that are lonely or grieving, the holiday is simply a reminder of what they don’t and may never have.  Sure, it’s easy to smile and say you are glad you don’t have a man calling the shots, or a woman bossing you around, but how hard must it be to see the shiny balloons, to smell the sweet floral aroma, or nibble the smooth enjoyment of chocolate that belongs to someone else?

Commercialism creates this idealistic vision of romance, telling us what we must want and should demand and have to buy.  Nothing less than perfection will do.  Don’t settle for less, we seem to believe, without realizing that it is big business throwing this in our face, not us, the consumer’s own inspiration. 

Gone are the days of handmade Valentine’s with a cheap sucker placed gently in the decorated shoe box, which elicits squeals of excitement and heartfelt gratitude at the giver’s thoughtfulness.  That time when everyone received a special card from everyone else.  When no one was left out no matter their popularity or beauty. 

This Valentine’s Day, for couples, let’s all return to the hallowed and humble beginnings of the holiday.  Instead of spending money on one night of romantic enjoyment, make a hand-decorated card.  Enjoy a romantic picnic dinner on the living room floor, with candles, and laughs.  Actually talk to one another.  Share real emotions…that will last a lifetime, not just a day.

For singles, don’t forget what the holiday was originally about.  It was a belief in what was right, in doing good for others without thought of ones self.  Share your time or Valentine’s cards with the elderly at a nursing home or a veteran at the VA Hospital.  Teach Valentine’s Day crafts to kids at a shelter or day care.  Listen to their stories.  Share in the feelings.  That is what true, honest love is all about.

St. Valentine would be proud.

Learn more about this author, Kristin Francis.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.