Results so far:
| No | 79% | 710 votes | Total: 896 votes | |
| Yes | 21% | 186 votes |
Back in the days of man's infancy (and indeed, to this day in many primitive cultures), it was regarded as lucky to have male progeny - for the sake of economic survival. Boys, it was said, could work, but girls were burdensome, requiring to be fed and supplied with dowries when they wed. In some cases girls were left to starve rather than become a burden - and even today girls as young as eight are sold into prostitution or child labour - rather than become an economic drain on a family.
Supposing that the power to choose a baby's sex was available in those times, or to those people: whither, then, that race? It would die out, as surely as the sun rises in the morning. Of course, one could argue that a race of people who didn't know women were necessary for the continuation of the species (as we can safely assume these people wouldn't)would hardly be able to lay claim to a technology that would enable them to develop only boy children - but this neatly skirts the real issue.
The real issue is that if a group of 100 families decided to have children - say, two children each - and ninety percent wanted only boys, then it doesn't bode well for the future of those families. And even if the remaining families were to produce only female offspring then that would mean 180 boys versus 20 girls, which adds up to something of a riot when the hormones of those children kick in at puberty.
There is a better way, however - a way that has been tried and tested, proven to work and found to be, if not perfect, then certainly more conducive to peace, harmony and equity than choice - and that is to let nature decide. Of course, it's a lottery - and yes, it depends to a large extent on environmental factors, and anything from the time in a woman's cycle that conception occurs to the food the couple eat within shouting distance of orgasm - but by and large it produces a good average of about 50% female to 50% male.
Besides which, there is a moral case for some things to be beyond the sticky, meddlesome and, in many ways, naive fingers of science. The question should be asked, is this a technology which improves the life expectancy of either the woman, man or indeed child in the case? In 99% of cases, the answer would doubtless be no: indeed, I have never, ever met a woman who's life is the better for only having borne boys or, for that matter, girls. and I doubt I ever will. In fact, I would argue there are more dangers to this technology if used as the debate suggests, although it is likely such technology will come in useful in conjunction with other tools for the betterment of life on this planet at some point.
But where nature is perfectly capable herself of dealing with situations, science should leave well alone. As Shakespeare bade Hamlet say: "there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy"...
Learn more about this author, Tabitha Hergest.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
To answer the general question, yes. The whys and whynots however greatly outweigh the simple yes or no. You have many things to look at and consider when this question is asked, it can and does mean many different things. So let's dig into my 4am brain and see what I have to say about this.
Now being that I am a mother, some may find my answer contradicting and hypocritical, I can understand why. I am a mother of a son, when I found out that I was having a boy I said "WHAT? oh you have got to be kidding me, a stinky boy?" Don't get me wrong, I loved my child from the day I became pregnant regardless of gender. BUT I didn't know the first thing about boys. I was going to be a single mother and had only ever dealt with girls. Sure I had a nephew, but I didn't see him often so I had no clue what to expect, on top of that, I HAD heard my sister's horror stories and frantic phone calls to my mom. I remember hearing over the phone "I think he is going to break it, what do I do? Can he pull it off, is it supposed to look like that?" Now WHAT on earth was she talking about? It wasn't long after I heard my mom respond with "I don't know, I had all girls. What does your husband say? Call the doctor, well I have never had to deal with baby boy parts, I can't tell you if it is supposed to be that stretchy." OHHHH THAT is what they were talking about. I left the room!
I was not ready to have a son, but still excited to be a mother none the less, sure I wanted a girl but I wasn't deadset on having a girl. I was happy to know my child would be healthy and it didn't TRULY matter if boy or girl, I just knew having a boy would be harder for me. Now that I have my son I wouldn't trade him for the world, but if I was to have another child right now I would LOVE to pick the gender of by baby. Yes I would know what to do with a boy, but I would hands down pick a girl. Right now the simple explanation for that is "because I want a girl this time!". At this point in time it has nothing to do with being able to care for a boy or girl, because I can do both, it is simply just what I want. Is it selfish? Sure it is, it is what I want, and not what I need. But some would easily say that someone who has more than one child is selfish. There are people out there who can't have kids that want them dearly, and you continue to have children...how selfish of you! But folks, we live in the real world and the world is made up of selfish people and decisions. Everything we do from owning a computer, eating meat, driving a car, being married or not being married, to using paper products can somehow be viewed as a selfish act by someone else.
Now when the question is posed to me as simply being able to choose the gender it is a mere yes or no opinion question, not so much that it NEEDS to be explained, but we do find ourselves defending our answers. So here is my defense as to why I think we should be allowed. Lets say for the sake of saying, you are deadset on having a boy. You find out that you are having a girl, you are SO let down and so upset that you don't care anymore. You don't worry about taking care of yourself and you aren't excited about this pregnancy. (there are some who do this) You think of all your options, since you know the sex of your baby you are probably atleast 20 weeks pregnant. Not all options are available. You decide to have the kid and just deal with the fact you are having a girl. The baby comes and you still aren't excited. Sure the fact you are a mother is great, but it's not what you dreamed about, it's not what you wanted.
Now there are many situations that could arise from this so lets take a deeper peek into this. You have the girl that was supposed to be a boy, you were/are still so hung up on having a boy, you either have nothing to do with your daughter or you basically turn her into a boy. Now I'm not saying girls can't wear blue, or play sports or have short hair, but typically you see many little girls in pink and dresses until they are of the age to decide what THEY like and dislike. So it's time to bring her home, you appease someone else by putting your child in pink, but the minute you get home you don't care anymore. You see the cutest little boy clothes and you decide "screw it, I'm buying it" you are now dressing your daughter in boy clothes. Her carseat, bedding and crib are all dark blue with bears fishing and playing baseball..there isn't a girl bear in sight. You don't have headbands or bows to put in her hair and everyone that sees her says "OHHH he is so cute, how old is he" you now have 2 options. Explain that this is a girl and why they look like a boy, or take the easy way out and say "thank you, 6 weeks."
Ok so that might be a drastic outcome to some, sure it is, but it has happened. So say that isn't how it turns out. Instead the mother of this little girl has no bond to her, she doesn't show her off and she isn't proud of her. There isn't a picture to be found of the baby that the mother has taken, and any pictures there are..the mother most certainly isn't in the pictures. The father is the one up and down with the baby at night, he is the one showing her off and dressing her in little pink dresses. You couldn't care less because it wasn't what you wanted. Selfish? Of course it is, this baby is innocent and can't do for themselves, but once again it is the real world and it has and does happen this way. Now yes, this was a drastic example, because in most cases the mother is not going to be like this...but guess who is? The father! It's not stereotypical either, I have known many men who have nothing to do with their child because it wasn't the gender they wanted.
I have known many couples who have 5 or 6 children because they kept trying for that one boy or girl they wanted. Now think to yourself, is it more selfish to pick the gender you want, or keep having children that you struggle to support, until you get the boy or girl you dreamed of? How will the other children feel when you FINALLY have the gender you have been trying for? The parent spends so much more time and attention on that one that the other children notice. How much easier would it have been to have that baby to begin with?
While I say yes you should be able to choose gender, I do feel that the first time around shouldn't always have that as an option. If you know that you want atleast one boy and one girl well guess what...you will get that with your first child. Now the second one then fine pick what you want..boy or girl? But if you truly know that you ONLY want girls or only want boys then by all means pick the one you want. I would much rather see someone extremely happy with being a parent because they got everything they wanted, rather than seeing one child suffer because it was luck of the draw. Or seeing a parent hurting because they have pined for that boy or girl their entire life and never received them. I have friends who only have boys, they hear that another friend is having a girl and they are BITTER. Showing no interest what so ever in their friend's pregnancy because "that should be me! I should have gotten the girl, why do I have all boys? It's not fair!" That is literally what comes from their mouths. It's not that they don't love their boys, but they WANT a girl.
So yes I agree with picking the gender, however I think it should stop there. While it is interfering in gods plan to some, to others it's not. If it was interfering then it would never be possible. Their is options and abilities because that is how the world is supposed to work. If it was meant that we were supposed to be vegetarians, everyone of us, then their would not be animals that are raised for consumption. Everything is here and happens for a reason, however I do feel that picking and choosing in pregnancy should end at gender. I understand it all ties in to what you want, and here is where I contradict myself. Choosing the gender of your child isn't ultimately picking out your baby. Going through noses and eye shape and color, what hair, how tall etc. is much like buying your baby from a catalog. It is far different than picking pink or blue. It puts me in the mid of a rugrats movie. Tommy is getting a new sibling that is supposed to be a girl. He and his friends have a chocolate gold coin. They think that the are supposed to use that coin to buy a baby from the hospital.
The children wander off to the nursery and start picking out which baby to "buy" they pick a girl and get to the room only to find the mother already bought a baby and it was a boy. This baby cried and cried and cried, Tommy and his friends decide that the baby needs to go back. They were given the wrong baby, not only was the baby a boy, but this baby was broke. Now imagine yourself setting down with the doctor deciding on what features you want your baby to have. It really is like buying your child, you are putting in a special order. "May I take your order? Ok, I have a 6lb5oz baby, hold the boy part, blue eyes, black hair, ivory skin, small nose, and 21 inches tall..is that going to be all today? Great your order will be ready in 9 months or its free" So you see that is a big difference from just picking boy or girl. So why shouldn't something that simple be allowed?
Learn more about this author, Nicole Lane.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.