Teens views: Are required chores at home right or wrong?

Right

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by Amanda Dcosta

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It was many years ago. I was 10 at that time. My mom's brother-in-law passed away; in fact he met with a fatal accident while swimming in a dangerous zone at the beach. My aunt was widowed, with four children. There were quite a few mixed-up arrangements, but finally, after around 6 months my twin cousins, my age, both girls, ended up staying with us for a year. My siblings and I are four in number and with them included, we were quite a handful for mom and dad to manage. Both the girls were admitted to the 6th grade that I was in.

We all got off on a rough start. My cousins decided that they were guests at our place, so they'd expect us to wait on them hand and foot. My mom would wake up early in the morning at 4, 4:30 a.m., and start off with getting lunch ready for us, while dad helped with the breakfast. While dad did the laundry, washing the clothes by hand as we didn't have a washing machine, mom would go around the house cleaning up after all of us, help making our beds and if none of us had swept or mopped the place, would do that too. By 9 a.m. dad was off to work and the rest of us had to be in school, mom too, as she taught there.

This used to be a very hectic schedule. And to add to that every little thing that our wonderful cousins did would get on our nerves. They would be so picky. If one got into a squabble, the other would cry or fight back. There were a lot of emotional outbursts. I was almost 11 by then and I expected them to be like me, which according to me was being mature and responsible. My siblings and I were always taught to do a bit of chores around the house like doing the dishes, or clearing the table, sweeping and mopping, but apparently my cousins felt that they were being taken advantage of when asked to do little chores. My parents would often advice my siblings and I aside, quite frequently, to bear in mind that they were probably feeling insecure and scared. But there was a limit to tolerating differences. These were stressful times for all of us. Something had to be done.

Mom and dad decided that a "Duties Time Table" be set up. We were getting our monthly allowances, but that was being rearranged. There was a set of rotating duties that had to be done daily whether we liked it or not. All of us were given a separate room to take care of everyday. These were mandatory and with rotation, none of us could complain of favouritism. There were no options or allowances fixed for these. But in addition to these there were duties which were either open to the one who first did them, or tasks which required multiple effort. Points were being given for each of these.

There were extra points for attending church every morning at 6 30 a.m., points for cleaning the front yard, and seeing that it was swept, points for the window panes and mirrors to look shiny and sparkling, and yes, the show case in the living room too. There were points for week end chores, points for surprise chores, and I tell you it was fun. One of the twins ended up being "House Captain" who was called upon in time of dispute and to supervise the chores being done. She even had a special badge made for her. No points were added up for any of our additional duties unless our respective fixed duties for the day were completed.

Weekends would be great. We'd wait in line on Saturday afternoon after dad would return from work and we'd get together to count our points. We were so proud of the big chart displayed in our Dining Room, with all our hard work converted to points and still further to cash. I tell you, we became so good at addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Dealing with fractions became a piece of cake. Every cent earned was a matter of pride.

After the points totalled and our earnings distributed, we'd have a heavy session of discussions and debates, why one person always ended up doing most of the stuff or why another let the other collect more points because of laziness, or how one person was not able to do any of the extras because the yardstick was hidden the previous day or one person woke up earlier than the others. Imagine points for completed home work too. Oh what a hardworking, studious lot we were! And it was fun. My cousins eventually loved it at our place and I must admit we loved having them with us too. And it was fun making a mess, as cleaning up would also be done.

I am a parent of two now. Whenever I am faced with an issue with regard to my kids or their behaviour, very often I look back at those wonderful years of growing up. Whenever we get together with our cousins, invariably we'd end up talking about that one particular year when all of learned to live together, respect each other and think about another's failure or problem or whatever might have been worrying us at that time. Stepping into teenage was easy as we grew up to be responsible and able to do things on our own. And all because of chores at home. Never underestimate the power of chores in older children and budding teenagers. I learned a lot because of that year, and I am the better because of it. I'm glad I was part of that group of youngsters, fighting and yelling, screaming and playing nasty pranks on one another and yet learning to live as a family. I am glad I was taught to do chores at home.

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