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Elderly Parents & Care
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| Yes | 82% | 444 votes | Total: 540 votes | |
| No | 18% | 96 votes |
Yes
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Add to FavoritesAll parents have that responsibility and obligation to support and provide for their children. We cannot choose who our parents should be, but everybody has that choice to decide whether to become a parent or not. In doing so, we must also be prepared emotionally, physically, and financially. At this time and age, having kids is not easy. You really have to want and commit to it in order to face and overcome any problems or struggles that comes with it.
All parents sacrifice a lot in order to bring up good and modest children. They work so hard to provide all the essential needs like food, clothing, and shelter. They also send their kids to school, teach them good manners and conduct, and guide them every step of the way. A parents' role in our life cannot be discounted. It is no wonder why some people even consider their parents as their heroes and role models. But when we become adults and lead an independent life, should there be a reversal of role and have the responsibility of supporting our parents?
Technically, children do not have any obligation to their parents. The arrow of duty is always going down, our parents to us, us to our kids, and our kids to their kids. However, I personally believe that it is our moral obligation as children to support and provide for our parents when the need arises. It is a way of giving back to them for all their hardships, sacrifices, and sufferings in order to give the best of everything to us. Sometimes, parents even have to give up their own happiness or comforts just to give security and stability to their children.
When parents reach the age when they are already sickly, can no longer work, and has limited mobility, it is the children's time to take care of them. No one else is expected to provide and support them but their own children. When you truly love your parents, providing for them is no longer a duty, but rather an act of love where you get to take care of them. It becomes an opportunity for you to show your parents what they mean to you and how you appreciated everything they have done for you.
It is the close-knit families that especially follow the tradition of looking after the well- being of their parents and seeing to it that they are well provided. Elderly parents are no longer as strong as before; are more prone to sickness, and may have limited resources. They have nobody else to turn to but their kids. Children have to grab this chance to show their gratitude and adoration for their parents.
A parent's love is something that cannot be measured. They are willing to sacrifice everything just to see their children grow up as mature, independent, and decent people. When the time comes that, it is our parents who need help and support; children must whole-heartedly provide for them in return. It is not an obligation anymore, but an act of love and concern for our parents who gave their whole self for us.
Learn more about this author, Marella.
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No
Duty may bind people to do many things but financially supporting your elderly parents is not one of these things. Such an obligation is not only unrealistic; it is unhealthy and unhelpful. To bind your finances and the finances of your parents in this manner, in most cases, will only bring financial difficulty to both parties, be a breeding ground for bad feelings, and in the end not solve the root problem.
Most modern adults are doing all they can to make ends meet for themselves, their partners and their dependent children. To add the burden of being required to bail out their parents would make financial survival all the more difficult. This is not an ideal world where everyone makes more than enough to live on and no one makes poor financial decisions. Especially in the current uncertain economy, financial surpluses that would enable the support of two households are virtually nonexistent.
The relationship between parent and child would suffer along with the finances. To be obligated to bail someone out of a situation that you did not cause is the perfect circumstance for developing feelings of frustration, resentment and anger. Neither the child nor the parent will be satisfied with the arrangement as their lives become more entwined, enmeshed and entangled. Co-dependency has long been recognized as a problem and this is co-dependency at its worst.
In the beginning, throwing money the problem will temporarily fix the situation. But it will not even begin to address whatever it may be that caused the problem in the first place. The source must be addressed. Is there large debt that is causing the problem? Is it a matter of spending exceeding income? Or is it something more troubling like a gambling addiction or alcoholism that caused the financial problem in the first place? Merely giving financial support in these circumstances only exacerbates the problem in the end.
Both parent and child would be much further ahead if they could sit down as equals and tackle the financial problem head on. Examine all the contributing factors and look for a realistic solution that doesn't include child supporting parent. Consider seeking the advice of a reputable financial counselor. Look into programs that offer benefits to the elderly. Contact the local office of the aging and community action group. Be prepared because this will not be easy. For many, talking about money is difficult to virtually impossible, especially if they are having money trouble. For others, talking about money is taboo. The direct approach may be more challenging initially, but will be more beneficial to all parties in the end. Remember to be as honest, gentle and respectful as possible during the problem solving process. That is where your duty truly lies.
Learn more about this author, Karen Witter.
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