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Is it the responsibility of children to care for their elderly parents?
Results so far:
| Yes | 72% | 716 votes | Total: 1001 votes | |
| No | 28% | 285 votes |
Yes
by Renee Morgan
Created on: April 17, 2009
Yes, the burden of our elderly parents is ours. However, the real problem with elderly parent care is that we look at it as a burden. Some might say, "Come on people, why put such burden on the children of this person", but is it a burden to care for the person whom have, with the aide of God, has given us life.
Let us understand that our responsibility does not mean moving the parent into our home or paying for every dime, which our parent need, and sometime it means just that. Our responsibility is to try, to the best of our ability, to help our parents to be comfortable.
If the parent lives alone, then we need to check on them daily through either visit or the phone. Many of our parents have a stubborn pride that will not let them ask for help. So what we can do is keep in contact with their utility companies. If the light company let you know that in the middle of July the light bill is $50.00 then we know that the parent is not using their air and this is probably because they cannot afford to run the air. So let something go so that you can pay their bill for a few months. Once in awhile stop by with a bag of food to help them stretch their food. If you have children, have them to go over from time to time to take out the trash or go to the grocery store for them.
Then there are the parents that might to live with us. Is there a thing in our life, which cannot be change so that our parent can move in? Are we so into our own life that we cannot change something so that our parent can be with us? Most of our parent's benefits will pay for their stay in a nursing home and if we have to add a few dollars then so be it, but the most important thing is to make regular visits. Caring for an elderly parent can sometimes be something as simple as letting them know that we care and that we will be, there if something goes bump in the night.
Moreover, the truth of the fact is there are some of us whom had some of the worst parent's ever-set foot on earth. However, does this mean that we should block our blessings because of their wrong that we feel against them? We have to remember that God will not punish that bad parent for things, which they did not know any better. If God will not turn his back on this person for their poor parenting skills, who are we to do so.
Is it the responsibility of children to care for their elderly parents? Yes, it is the responsibility of the child to care for the elderly parent in one way or another, and it might just be something as letting them know that we will be there if they need us.
Learn more about this author, Renee Morgan.
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No
by Dana Meldgaard
Created on: April 15, 2008
In a perfect world, where parents treat their children well, their children grow to be financially stable, and are in turn compelled to treat their parents well in their twilight years, there would be little debate on whether it is the responsibility of children to care for their elderly parents. Unfortunately, there are many reasons while an adult child would be unable or unwilling to care for an elderly parent. Circumstances are different in every family, so it is difficult to say with certainty that it is the child's responsibility to care for the elderly parent. It may be that simply providing the genetic material necessary to create another human being isn't enough retirement planning.
In cases where a child was neglected or abused, by a parent, is it a moral imperative for the child to care for the parent when they need them? In situations where a parent was absent from their child's life for the majority of their childhood, returning only when that child is an adult it seems an unfair burden. Children who take care of such parents are likely doing more then could be reasonably expected of them. And if the child had practically no childhood to speak of due to abuse? There are children who suffer horrific abuse throughout their childhoods, and it seems doubly unfair that these children would later be burdened with the care of that parent.
It is an unfortunate but well known fact of life that people often contribute heavily to their own demise. Should the child of an alcoholic or drug dependent parent be required, either morally or socially, to provide for the care that the parent will need due to their vices? Just as it is ridiculous to expect that one could destroy their health with the expectation that someone will later provide for them, it is ridiculous to insist that someone later provide for them.
Other reasons a child might not be able to provide care for their parents may include constraints of finances, time, or ability. The "sandwich generation", people who care for both elderly parents and young children, often find it difficult to meet the financial needs of an extra adult, especially if they are starting out in their careers. It is often the case that the adults in the household are working full time, and they may simply not have enough time to provide adequate care for their parents. In cases where the parents require medical or other specific care, the children may not be able to provide it.
Many times caring for a parent is not an obligation, but it always is a kindness. In planning for old age it should not be assumed that your children will be able to provide for you when you are in need. With the many different circumstances surrounding family life it is impossible for a person to determine for someone else if it is appropriate for them to care for their parent or not.
Learn more about this author, Dana Meldgaard.
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