Home > Celebrations & Holidays > Valentine's Day
Dating: Should men or women take the first initiative?
Results so far:
| Men | 75% | 483 votes | Total: 641 votes | |
| Women | 25% | 158 votes |
Men
by Kathy H
Created on: February 04, 2008
Ladies, allow me to let you in on a secret. There is not much that compares to the feeling you get when you are an eligible single lady and a suitable man notices you and makes the first approach, especially if he is the same guy you have had your eye on for a while.
Even though this might sound absolutely ridiculous to you, it is something that makes you smile to yourself the entire day.
Women are emotional beings, and they absolutely adore romance. Many many times you hear them say that they wish that their guy could be more romantic than he is. So, if you are in the market for some loving, a man making the first approach is certainly exciting.
Many women tend to be old fashioned too when it comes to romance. It is always a wise choice to sit back and allow the man to come to you. This way you know for sure that the man does indeed have dating or a long term relationship on his mind.
Remember, men are the hunters. They are more or less simple and get right to the point.
They usually know what they want, go out and get it and they are done. On to the next thing on their list.
Men also know if they are out just for a fling or if they indeed have a long term relationship on their mind. If you watch their behavior when they see or meet a woman, you can usually tell which one of these they have in mind. Most times if you really listen to the way a man talks about women, you can also tell if he is a player or not. They usually do not mince words or feelings. If he tells you he is not interested in a long term or serious relationship, believe him.
The way he approaches you and what he says to you after he makes his move are the key indicators of both his personality and what he has in mind. Where you go to meet men also plays a part in the type of men you meet. This helps you decide if you want to make the initial approach, if you want them to approach you or if you prefer to avoid them altogether.
Another thing to keep in mind is what you want in a relationship. If you want marriage and children, do not bother to waste your time on players that just want to use you. If you want a casual fling that is up to you too.
So, should you decide you are not going to sit around for years just to see if your prince actually does show up, there is nothing wrong with making the first move ladies. It helps if you know the man as a friend first and have some sort of an idea about his love life and his approach to women. After all, if you go around approaching all sorts of strange men you could make an unsavory name for yourself.
If you have a slight idea that he indeed may be interested in you, but you know he is rather shy when it comes to affairs of the heart, he may just need a slight nudge in the right direction from you or a friend.
Otherwise he could take your friendship as just that, at face value, unless you give him some slight indication that you have something more in mind. Most of the longest lasting relationships have started out with both people being good friends. He might just feel safe enough to open up to you about many things if he knows he can trust you as a real friend.
Many men do not like to be rushed into a relationship. Some women have the tendency to come on too strong when approaching men. This is going to do nothing more than scare him away if he feels you are making too solid of an approach.
When you allow the man to come to you this puts everything out on the table. You know where he is coming from and you can respond appropriately.
Learn more about this author, Kathy H.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Women
by Bhavya Dabas
Created on: November 02, 2009
I have never really been able to understand why this whole idea of who should ask whom out first is such a big deal. Sure, the men have traditionally been the ones doing it, but why can't the women do it if they want to? What makes people uncomfortable with or opposed to the idea?
It's really not so much a question of whether the man or the woman asks the other person out. It's about who begins to like the other person first. Who is attracted and drawn to the other enough to make them want to go out. And who is more outgoing and more of a go-getter, someone who likes to make things happen for themselves instead of sitting around, waiting for things to happen on their own.
In this day and age where women are on equal footing with men in most career fields, are as well educated as the men and as well informed of their rights, what stops a woman from asking a man out? What prevents her from letting a guy know that she finds him attractive, even sexy? And if guys can accept working alongside or even as subordinates to women, what is the big deal if a woman asks them out? Why do they need to feel awkward or uncomfortable if she does that? Or resort to classifying her as a slut?
To men, a woman who makes the first move in a relationship can be intimidating or appear to be overly assertive. Because gender roles have traditionally been the other way around, and social conditioning leads people to think that that is the way things should be. But the world is fast changing, and more and more women are taking on stronger roles professionally. Society is gradually growing to accept them and even to admire them.
In the world that we live in today, men and women are increasingly adopting very similar roles, both inside and outside their houses. Both partners work equally long and stressful hours and draw similar paycheques. And both of them share household responsibilities. This kind of arrangement is increasingly acceptable in most families. Whoever is the better cook of the two, cooks. The other one takes care of other chores, such as washing and cleaning. And so it should be in relationships. Whoever is more outgoing should make the first move. The other one can suggest where they should go and what they should do together.
Learn more about this author, Bhavya Dabas.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills
Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all
INFORMATION
Copyright © 2002-2012 Helium, Inc. All rights reserved.
Helium.com: A Service of RR Donnelley