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| Yes | 52% | 35 votes | Total: 67 votes | |
| No | 48% | 32 votes |
Yes
Created on: January 03, 2009
I think parents should celebrate holidays in the culture of their child. The parents knew their culture and religion when the adopted them. If you're an adoptive parent, odds are your child comes from a different heritagewhether he's from Rhode Island or Russia, of Asian or African-American or Latin-American descent. Learning about his heritage will help him understand where he comes from and build a strong sense of self. I find it wrong to keep a child from who they are and where they come from and you should feel the same way. Look for people to Expose your child to a wide variety of role models from his own culture and those of others.Seek out doctors, teachers, construction workers athletes, even people in the neighborhood and other adult role models for your child. Invite them to your house. Your whole family can benefit from their friendship. "These events are wonderful opportunities for families to connect with others who have been there, done that. Tell your child to have a pin-pal from the same religion that he or she is to build a friendship, and bond with some one just like them. This will help them not feel left out. Get with your school, see if there is a foreign exchange student of the same culture. Do the big brother or big sister program. Find on the map where your child is from. Show it to them and see what they say, and answer any questions to the best of your knowledge.If your child is foreign born, find books about his country of birth. Get some music, and books and have fun celebrating different holidays on the country where he or she is born. Try a holiday recipe or craft together or plan a special night to celebrate your child's culture by dressing as authentically as possible and duplicating a traditional meal. Get in contact with a catalogue company Request a free catalogue of adoptive and ethnic items from Adoptive Families of America. Many stores carry dolls and books from other cultures. Try to include items from his culture in his room decor and in his play things. Do little puppet shows to show them how much fun his or her culture can be. Get some books from the library. Choose stories that picture children of all races in a non-stereotypical way. Look for books that are both realistic and uplifting. These ideas and others of your own to help your child understand his own cultural background. It will help your own family develop an appreciate of another culture also. Get some material that can help teach the children and parents the native language. That is always a fun process. Every now and then make a food that is from your child's country. You don't have to like but act like for them. It will make their day. Lean about animals from his/her country. Make a picture book for the child. If the child is old enough he/she could create their own books. Cut out pictures or draw your own. You might even be amazed at some of the animals from a foreign country.
Learn more about this author, Ezekiel Stone.
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No
Created on: June 24, 2010
As a Korean-born adoptee, who was legally adopted three different times and moved to foster families in between each adoption before the age of 8, I feel that it is missing the point to argue whether or not an adoptive family should celebrate the holidays of the native culture of their adopted child.
It would be one thing, if the adoptive parents are living in the native culture with their adopted child, then a pro argument would make sense. Of course, then the child would identify with their native culture and feel part of it enough to celebrate holidays or remembrances. However, to make an event out of a foreign holiday that no one the child knows (including his/her parents) will truly understand or appreciate only serves to remind the child that s/he is different from everyone else, which for an international adoptee is obvious each and every day.
When I finally met my adopted parents who kept me at age 8, they sent me each year to an adoption camp where I could spend a week being with other adoptees and specifically learning about Korea - the culture, food and language. What was most significant about my time there and what made me want to go back every year was not to learn more about the country I was born in, but rather to have the chance to be around other people who were like me. It wasn't just that we all looked the same (that was definitely nice), but it was more about feeling the same, sharing the experience of not being like everyone else we knew and comforting each other that we were not really alone in having to deal daily with the fact that we were different - from the way we looked to the way we experienced things, to the way we thought about life.
While I did indeed have pen pals from Korea, what they shared with me about Korea meant nothing to me. My pen pals from camp who told me about their struggles to be accepted, to fit in, to just be like their families and friends meant everything to me. Being Korean only affected the way I looked, but everything else about me was Anglo-American because that was my community, my family and my friends. Had my family celebrated Chinese New Year in Korean-style or celebrated Independence Day from the Korean War with me, it would have felt awkward and fake.
Therefore, I fail to see the purpose in doing us, adoptees, a "favor" by celebrating our native culture's holidays and events, because the mere fact that we're internationally adopted takes away all meaning of these cultural activities. We do not live in these cultures where the meaning exists. We do not identify with these cultures where the holiday's are celebrations or remembrances. Being informed and supported for potential interests should we make that choice on our own is perfect, but making a show of how we are different is not.
Learn more about this author, Tara Waller.
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