Would you sacrifice family for career?

No

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by Robin Landry

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Sacrifice family in favor of career? Never! Why not? Well, to begin with, what does "sacrifice" really mean and can it actually achieve the desired results when it comes to career success?

According to Dictionary.com, sacrifice is "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim."

Somehow I can't imagine ever having a career that I would value so highly that I would be willing to "surrender", much less "destroy" my family in order to pursue. Sadly, however, there seem to be too many individuals in our society today who do not share this view.

Addiction to work is not yet officially recognized as a medical or mental disorder, which makes it difficult to accurately measure. However, a 2004 Gallup survey indicated that 38% of Americans reported that they work more than 45 hours every week, compared with only 30% of Canadians and 28% of employees in Great Britain working more than 45 hours weekly. In Japan it is widely reported that 10,000 workers die at their desks every year as a result of the 60 to 70 hour work weeks that are commonplace.

So, what could be behind this dramatic imbalance in many of our lives? What leads the self-described workaholic into such an imperfect situation? Many people assume that only the highest level executives such as CEOs or those in the process of climbing their way up the corporate ladder are likely candidates for work addiction. However, according to the 12-step support group, Workaholics Anonymous, it appears that a growing number of individuals from blue collar, white collar, professional and service oriented occupations alike are seeking help in overcoming their unhealthy obsession with work.

Though some people may simply be hard working, motivated and ambitious, the true workaholic is like any other addict, driven to engage in compulsive, yet harmful behavior and unable to exert the self-control that will enable him to stop. Work becomes the way in which the addict self medicates in order to cope with stressful life situations in much the same way as people who overeat, smoke, drink excessively or abuse either illegal or prescription drugs or view pornography do in their efforts to escape. Some studies suggest that workaholics are addicted to the adrenaline rush that is present in a busy and demanding workplace and may actually seek out high stress jobs in an effort to maintain that "adrenaline high."

Unfortunately, however, long term exposure to a high stress work environment without accompanying time away in which to rest and recharge can lead to a host of serious, stress related health issues. Depression, anxiety, high blood pressure and the associated strokes and heart attacks that follow are just a few of the unfortunate consequences of being addicted to work.
And the children of workaholics have been shown to suffer from many of the same physical and emotional problems as those experienced by the children of drug or alcohol addicted parents. Depression, anxiety and relationship problems are among the most common emotional issues. For others the ailments are physical in nature and are a result of the stress associated with living with a perfectionist, work addicted parent who can never seem to relax and have fun while encouraging the child to do the same. Insomnia, ulcers, colitis, headaches and eating disorders may appear even in very young children living in this kind of anxiety producing environment.

The workaholic parent who repeatedly breaks promises to the child and ignores their interests and accomplishments in order to spend more time at work may be unwittingly cultivating a personality that is marked by disappointment and an inability to trust. Such children may well grow to be judgmental and highly critical of themselves and others. Perhaps saddest of all is the increased likelihood that they may become workaholics themselves or develop some other type of harmful addiction.

But perhaps the greatest argument against sacrificing your family in favor of your career is that in the long run it simply doesn't work. Despite all of their long hours and absolute devotion to their job responsibilities studies have shown that most hardcore workaholics really aren't that productive in the workplace. Their efforts do not always lead to career success or even to outstanding job performance.

The problem is that workaholics often find it difficult to connect with other team members. Perfectionists who find it tough to relinquish any part of the task; they struggle with concepts such as teamwork and collaboration. Their unrealistic expectations and demands often lead to conflict.

Dr. Bryan Robinson, a psychotherapist in Asheville, North Carolina found that some employers actually viewed their workaholic employees as less efficient than others. They saw them as self-absorbed and uncooperative within the team environment. Their perfectionist natures can also cause them to engage in large amounts of busy work and they seem to spend inordinate amounts of time working and reworking trivial aspects of many projects. Dr. Robinson also found that these employees tended to make more mistakes and to perform poorly in projects that required detailed analysis, most likely because their reluctance to rest and take time off did not allow them to approach complex projects with a fresh and healthy perspective.

As managers, the work addicted individuals did even more damage. In teams led by a workaholic manager there appeared to be lower morale, more absenteeism, more burnout and higher rates of turnover.

Add to this the actual costs in health care and sick leave that inevitably occur when the workaholic's unhealthy, stress filled lifestyle finally catches up with him and we quickly see that these employees really are no bargain for their organizations.

Finally, when we look at the workaholic's natural opposite, the hard working but balanced employee, we find that these individuals are actually far more productive and present greater value to the organization. Peter Capelli and Clint Chadwick of the Wharton School and Jill Constantine of Williams College collaborated on a long-term study that followed high school seniors in 1972 to determine whether their attitudes toward work and family life had any impact on their future earnings. When the students were interviewed again in 1986, 14 years after the original survey, the study showed that the male students who had originally placed a higher value on finding the right spouse and having a happy family had higher earnings than those who had originally said that "making money" was their highest priority.

The workaholic seems to be under the misguided belief that he "doesn't have time" to ease away from work occasionally and concentrate on family. But the real truth is that the resulting family and health related problems that are brought about by years of neglect are actually robbing him of time that could be spent in achieving greater career success. Unhappy and emotionally damaged spouses and children must be dealt with eventually and this can be an expensive and time consuming proposition. But when we invest the time that will enable us and our families to be happy and whole the time that we do spend at work is much more productive.

So, it would seem that the idea of sacrificing you family in favor of your career is simply counterproductive, achieving the exact opposite of that which most workaholics are trying to convince themselves that they are working toward.

References:

Arora, Raksha. "Are Americans Really Abject Workaholics?" www.gallup.com/poll/ 13291/Americans-Real ly-Abject-Workaholic s.

Dobrzynski, Judith. "Study Sees Benefits in Family Life". The Oklahoma City Journal Record, June 21, 1995.

Fassel, Diane. "The High Cost of Workaholism". Business Health, January 1989.

Http://saulandsaul.c om/resources/ADULT+C HILDREN+OF+WORKAHOLI CS.pdf

Johnson, Tory. "You Might Be a Workaholic IfSome Signs That You Might Need to Pull Back on Work", Good Morning America. June 14, 2007. www.abcnews.go.com/G MA/TakeControlOfYour Life/story?id=327641 6

Mann, Denise. "All Work and No Play is Bad for Your Health." Web MD News. May 2000. www.webmd.com/news/2 0000505/work-addicti on-health-risks.

Piotrowski, Chris. "The Workaholism Syndrome: An Emerging Issue in the Psychological Literature", Journal of Instructional Psychology. March 2008.

www.allaboutlifechal lenges.org/workaholi c.htm

www.empowher.com/sha re/mental-health/wom en-workaholics-the-a dmirable-addiction.

www.forbes.com/manag ement/2006/04/19/wor kaholics-anonymouse- office-cx_sr_0420wor k.html.

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