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| Yes | 34% | 128 votes | Total: 372 votes | |
| No | 66% | 244 votes |
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Add to FavoritesWorking with your spouse can be a good thing or a bad one depending on the job and the personalities of you and your spouse.
My wife and I started dating because we both worked at the same factory when we lived in Virginia. Overall, it was pleasant. We worked in different departments but took our break times together. That being the case, neither one of us had to answer to the other in our business life. One of you being the others boss might not play out as well. Again, this depends more or less on the stress levels of the job and the personalities of you and your spouse.
In a job where a man has to report to his wife, this can lead to a feeling of being less important and feelings of emasculation. If a woman has to answer to her husband on the job, this can lead her to feel like she has no say so in other areas. The important thing is to keep work relationships on a professional level and the personal relationship where it needs to be outside of work. In short, leave your work at your job and your home life at home.
In circumstances like mine, we could discuss work at home because our jobs did not directly correlate to one another. There were no hurt feelings if I had a complaint (or vise-versa) because it wasn't my spouses fault nor could it be perceived to be in any round-about way.
Another factor is we made roughly the same amount of money. She made about eighty cents more an hour. But this doesn't really bother me like it does a lot of other men. Some men feel they have to be the main (if not sole) bread winner of the family. A wife making more money can be hard enough in itself and harder if the wife is responsible for things such as raises and promotions at the husband's job. If she passes him up, he may take it personally while if she just hands him a raise or promotion it will cause tension with co-workers adding to the stress levels of both spouses on the job. It's a thin line to have to walk. Many companies see this and have polices limiting or prohibiting interoffice relationships.
If you have a business you started together then the issue is more of personalities. You have to have set lines as to who has the say so in what areas. This too is a delicate situation as there are many areas where it will require decisions on the parts of both parties and one may feel slighted if a difference of opinion is decided in the other's favor. It becomes hard to separate business matters from personal feelings. Depending on how you and your spouse handle such situations, such a venture could be successful or could end terribly. Or it could be successful and cost you your relationship. My in-laws ran a very successful court reporting business together. They did not have problems keeping work and play separate areas. They knew where to draw the lines and how much say they each had in the business. They also knew not to hold a grudge over something that was done in the interest of the companies greater good.
Taken as a whole, working with your spouse can be fun if you both can have a good attitude about it and aren't directly responsible for one another at the work place. And if you know where to draw the line between work life and home life you should not have problems working together.
Learn more about this author, Rayne Britt.
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No
No. Besides the obvious reasons that people may have a jealous need to be with their significant other at all times, there is something to be said for having something or someplace that's all your own. There are far too many realationships currently based on comfort and insecurity. When someone HAS to be around someone else 24 hours a day there are underlying problems.
Working with a spouse can open the door to a multitude of things that you didn't want to be a part of.
Gossip; there isn't an office or workplace around that doesn't have employees partaking in juicy office tales and rumors. When you subject your relationship to the opinions of onlookers day in and day out it can cause personal relationship problems that may not have been there before. People love to watch others fall and fail. If there is the slightest hint of attitude in your voice, co-workers will fill in the blanks with their own version as to why. Eventually, you will hear these same comments and will begin to stick up for your relationship by dishing details, or will become paranoid about the things being said about either you or your spouse.
When a boss is familiar with both you and your spouse, he or she too will begin to entertain the rumors if there is a change in your work habits or attitude. These preconcieved notions can harm you or your spouse when looking to promote or transfer.
Smothering; spending all of your time together isn't healthy even if you are sitting at opposite ends of the building. Sooner or later someone will feel smothered by the constant explaining of their actions or decisions at the workplace. The best of couples question each other about lunch dates and who will pick the child up from the sitters. Couples may not intend to mix their professional and personal lives, but it becomes commonplace when you have access to each other all day long. This can interfere with your work performance, your stress level and your relationship's strength.
Unprofessionalism; No one wants to be accused of not being professional, especially after working hard to achieve a status or position they are happy with. Many couples find it hard to keep their personal arguments at home. Some spouses make it their mission to badmouth the other if there has been a quarrel. Co-workers begin to take sides depending on which spouse has been their friend. These same co-workers are the allies and possibly only friends a person may have. Although it is natural to vent and sometimes let a friend into your personal life, when it is at the work place and the "friend" knows the other person you are venting about, it becomes akward for all of you. Again, if you all show up to work unhappy you will have a bad attitude all day and it may affect your work.
There is a comforting feeling to having a place where you can forget about things at home. Many people, men especially, use the work place to escape from their daily family lives. If the wife were there to ruin the story about how big the fish he caught really was, it would put a strain on workplace relationships. People need a place to be themselves or not exactly themselves. We all like to tell others about our day, share information, spew gossip, or just vent about our boss. If the significant other is there to experience it all there is nothing new and interesting to talk about at home and nothing to learn from the other person's experience at their job. Couples would constantly be dwelling on the same office information and it makes it twice as hard to leave your job at the door.
Building friendships at work is another exciting part about a job. We spend 50% of our lives at work, we need to be happy there, have friends, feel like we make a difference. If spouses share these same group of friends there are no new people to meet, the group of people at work are now the only groups of friends you have between you both and it begins to get old.
It's not healthy to take your work home with you, it's not healthy to take your married life to work.
Learn more about this author, Kathleen.
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