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| Yes | 35% | 47 votes | Total: 135 votes | |
| No | 65% | 88 votes |
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Add to FavoritesYes, the person most likely suffering of heartache from having lost a loved one, is probably the person who will most likely be particular in closing the financial aspects of their loved one's estate. At the same time, this can feed the length of time for the grieving process, due to good old fashioned memories. I have found that dealing with my loved one's financial obligations has given me purpose. Had it not been for the ordeal of being an executor and trustee, I believe I would have been too depressed and frozen from pain. Being aware that I was stepping into this new career of executing a will created a whole new direction for me. Perhaps it wasn't the most pleasant career path, but I truly believe if someone was to do this job, I was the right man for the job.
Financial and personal dealings for your loved one who has passed, are two separate issues. Fortunately the law does provide ample time to submit all the appropriate documents necessary. You have months to submit assets, you have more time to pay taxes, you have even more time to complete full financial documentation. I have found that grieving is timeless, but it should not be overwhelming. With the ability to grieve on my own time, I have plenty of time to execute a trust, and actually feel more compelled and driven in resolving his with as few flaws as possible.
Clearly the loss of a loved one is dreadfully painful. But I truly believe that the closet person to you should take care of your remaining obligations or wishes. For obvious reasons; this person knows you best, is most likely aware of where you do your banking, knows all family members, has full knowledge (hopefully) of what you would want and won't be shocked by anything they discover.
Grant it, the person that was closest to the one who has passed away is most likely suffering more than distant relatives or friends who will recover more quickly, but you must remember, they need to find a useful tool. Dealing with a will, estate or trust, will give that sufferer purpose. The survivor may need guidance when overwhelmed, and may seek some support from other family members or friends or even legal counsel and accountants. This is where family and friends should be more understanding then most realize.
Typically after a burial, and a short period of time passes it is common for most everyone to go on with their everyday life. The person who is closest to the deceased, is still suffering and is trying to adjust to life without their loved one. The survivor, needs continued support months and months down the road after the burial/cremation.
Dealing with the financial aspects will create a bit of work for the survivor but this is the best candidate for the job. Would you want someone who didn't know you inside out completing the last details of your life after you have passed on? I should think not. That perhaps is something to ponder.
By no means is this to be taken lightly. It is a serious commitment and time consuming. And you can bet your bottom dollar, it hurts.
Learn more about this author, Alice Heart.
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No
I was just talking to my sisters about this very subject of making financial decisions during the immediate time of loss and grief and how so many people are taken advantage of in their weakness.
In 2000, our Dad who had been a caretaker for our then bedridden Mom, suddenly had a stroke which led to a heart attack and immediate death. We all lived scattered around the country and they were in Florida, so we all had to quickly drive or fly to Florida and try to put together a funeral.
Our brother in Georgia lived closest to them, so he was the first to arrive and met with the funeral director immediately. I was next arriving from Kentucky, then others from Tennessee and Colorado.
Our parents had already purchased an above-ground vault and truly thought that all the expenses were prepaid. With our mother also at near death, she could not remember where all the paperwork was located, so we took the word of the funeral director and promptly passed the "hat" around to make up the difference of $1200 which was the amount we were told was the extra fees that needed to be paid before we could actually put our dad's body in that vault!
With everyone grief-stricken and weary from travel and trying to care for our mother's needs, we never thought to question the validity of the funeral director's bill for services.
Eight years later we have found out that there was a fund paid to the funeral home from our parents' church which covered those fees! In fact, the fees were overpaid and we should have received a refund of about $600!
None of us can produce a receipt for the monies paid, therefor we cannot get our money back after this late date. We all certainly learned a lesson and now we all have copies of the funeral contract for our mother when her time comes. We all know for a fact that her funeral is completely prepaid and there will be no surprises.
My sister is a Neuropsychologist and stated that when someone is overly excited, grief-stricken, or on certain medications that person is not stable enough to think rationally and make educated and clear-cut decisions. People, unfortunately, take advantage of us when we are in this situation and often overcharge for services or items and pocket the profit.
It is so very, very important that we have a living will and a final will and testament and have all our ducks in a row for we never know when there will be sudden trauma or death. It is not fair to our loved ones that have to pay the bills and make quick decisions in their time of sorrow and/or loss.
Just having life insurance is not enough - let people know who your agent is and how to access funds for immediate disbursment. A responsible trustworthy relative or friend should have access to legal records and social security numbers for without these it is almost impossible to handle any legal matters of someone else!
Learn more about this author, Cheryll the Music Bug.
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