Parenting & Pregnancy >
Child Discipline Strategies
Get a Widget for this title
RSS FeedShould children be admonished for telling smutty jokes?
Results so far:
| Yes | 77% | 57 votes | Total: 74 votes | |
| No | 23% | 17 votes |
Yes
Write now
Print
Invite a writer™
Add to FavoritesI believe children should be admonished for telling smutty jokes, but I also feel that there are various ways and times to go about doing so. Before we dive into this topic at hand, we need to understand the definition of admonish
Defining the term:
"Admonish" - to counsel in terms of one's behavior, to warn, to take to task, to reprove gently, but earnestly
When I read this question, I had to know the correct definition for the word before moving one thought further. My husband took the word to mean "kicked out or disregarded by their peers or classroom." It sounds a lot like that. But if you take it for what it's true definition, we should all be admonishing our kids for telling smutty jokes, if they begin to do so.
Communication:
As some would argue, we need to have clear communication and an open relationship with our children to best serve them in their growing years. But part of that open relationship is balanced with helping them to see what is and is not appropriate for our family representation.
I admire any parent who has patience enough at the end of the working day to sit down with their kids and truly WORK on communication! It's hard enough with two adults in the home fielding questions, but there are single parents who have twice the responsibility to do it as well. I think fine tuning a completely open and trusting atmosphere with our children is what we all desire most, but it is also quite difficult to achieve. Some things are just uncomfortable to discuss, regardless of how close a family is. We all have to work at it, some harder than others.
Parroting: The YOUNG Child
If my kid comes home at an age when puberty has not become a factor, and there is smutty verbiage coming out, I feel she should be admonished. (That is, gently warned of the inappropriateness of the topic at hand.) Young children don't know what they are saying half the time. It's proven that, even though they can imitate sarcasm to a perfect tee, they cannot grasp the weight of words and truly comprehend sarcasm until the age of 16. Even if they have perfect execution of wording and tone, they have learned it and stored that information from watching others. It is being parroted back in a situation they deem to appropriate for such conversation.
Young kids should know that the jokes they are making are not appropriate for ears of their age. Instead of being shocked that they've heard and then repeated something vulgar, try explaining that the jokes they are telling are rude and offensive to people and should not be spoken, period. I would extend the conversation by telling my child that even though some adults choose to tell jokes of that nature, it does not mean that those adults have consequences of their own for their actions.
Family Moral Code: The TEEN Years
When kids get older, they will experiment with language and they will have things to say that drops our jaws a bit. Showing extreme reaction to inappropriate language will lock it in place in their mind as one way to get your full and undivided attention. But don't forget, that when we step out of our homes, as children, teenagers or adults, we represent to the world our family.
I represent my home, husband, daughter, school, church and office when I leave and I make a note to hang that on my hat each day. Our kids need to be made aware of their family representation when they walk out the door as well. "Is that something that you would say at the dinner table?" If not, make sure the company you are in who hears you say it is not going to be sitting there any time soon judging your worth by your words. Older kids should know that although it sounds funny, those jokes aren't all that respectful to people in general. (Including those speaking it.) Teens should be made clearly aware that locker room talk has a place.
Bottom Line:
Our kids are going to share things they hear with others. If they are brought up to know it's not all that funny or respectful, they may partake in conversation, but not end up in hysterics, pulling pranks along the same lines. I think it is possible and quite necessary to admonish a child for telling such jokes at an age appropriate level so that they understand it's about respect for oneself and those around you. They don't have to grow up to be prudish and become the butt of jokes themselves. But they should know that it is not socially acceptable to be crude in the presence of those who find it offensive.
Admonish them for offensive behavior. "Counsel" them about "something that should be avoided." Teach them to be respectful with their mouths without making them feel like dirt. Model good behavior at home and let your kids know what you find offensive so that they will adapt a similar disapproval of smutty jokes and disrespectful conduct.
Learn more about this author, Alicia Slansky.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
No
I am wondering who would be doing the admonishing. Would it be the parent because the child told the parent the joke, or perhaps a school official because the child was caught "in the act" at school? How old is the child? A child of five should have no way of ever encountering a smutty joke, but as we all know, teenagers have pleny of places to learn such things. If it is a child of five, surely there are parenting issues and it is still not the child's fault!
It is quite obvious to me that if the child is telling the joke to a parent, then the parent has created an environment where the child would feel comfortable telling such a joke to the parent without fear of reprisal.
I raised two boys, for some of their growing up years, alone without a strong male influence. It was my responsibility as a parent to instill a sense of trust and openness with those children and I did. I taught them about their bodies, sexuality and talked to them about drugs, smoking and other issues parents need to educate their children on.
The environment I raised those boys within was one where they felt comfortable talking to me about, or telling me anything. There were instances where they had come to me with an off colored joke or two. Some I reminded them were not for public sharing, but you can be assurred I never admonished either son for feeling comfortable enough to bring that to me.
I have observed so many parents placing judgments on their children for simply doing what children do. I've always wondered why the parent would not simply take the opportunity at the time of teaching their children what may or may not be acceptable to the genral public instead. It is little wonder kids today cannot communicate with their parents.
Open communication and trust within a parent is the single most important thing you will instill within your child. When your child is comfortable enough to come to you with anything, you have most of the battle already won.
As a result of the environment I created for my children I have never had a teacher or other adult come to me with complaints of inappropriate child to adult conversations.
We can admonish our children on every little thing we decide is inappropriate, or we can take those moments to instill within them the morals and sense of decency we want them to carry through life as we accept their childish experiments for exactly what they are........a testing of the boundaries we all test at one point or another in life.
Learn more about this author, Kristal Mcvicar.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Difference of opinion? Debate now.
- Child Discipline Strategies
- Is time-out an effective discipline strategy for children?
- Should parents tell children adult jokes?
- Should children open birthday presents in front of their guests?
- Should children be bribed to help with household chores?
- Should children be taught to wash and iron their own clothing?
- Is physical/corporal punishment right or wrong?
