Home > Relationships & Family > Communication > Interpersonal Communication > Talking with Teens & Children
Is communication easier with a mother or a father?
Results so far:
| Mother | 75% | 834 votes | Total: 1107 votes | |
| Father | 25% | 273 votes |
Mother
by Kate Johns
Created on: March 21, 2008 Last Updated: March 07, 2011
Choosing sides on whether communication is easier between a Mother and Father is not an easy one. Some kids find it easier to talk to their Mom rather than their Dad. While others find it easier to talk to their Father. Some kids can't talk either their mom or their dad.
For the most part it is easier for children to have discussions with their Mothers. Women in general are talkers. Women like to talk, and share information. While men don't really like getting into deep discussions relating to anything serious. It seems they would rather hang out with the guys and yell about sports.
Men and women are made differently, women talk and men take action. When two little girls get together, they will run all over the house trying to find something to do. When they quiet down, you'll probably find them sitting across from each other talking about stuff, or doing each others nails, or having a tea party.
Boys on the other hand will run all over the house, playing warriors, and maybe they'll actually talk to each other in the process. When a child goes to his Father to discuss something, Dad will probably get up and start doing something. Men are not traditionally the ones who talk face to face, that's what women do. A man will try to solve the problem right away also, by telling the child to get some kind of work done. While he feels the need to tinker on the car while his son tries to talk to him, the child may feel he is not getting through to Dad.
Therefore, the child may wander away, and wait until Mom gets home, so that he can talk to her. A Mom for the most part, will listen by talking to her child sitting down face to face. The child will feel better because he knows he has an audience; someone that truly cares and will try to help him. Mom may come up with ideas to solve the problem, but most likely the child and Mom after discussing the problem will come up with a solution together.
Men traditionally enjoy engaging in an activity. Men solve problems by taking action. When a child is trying to ask Dad questions about why he has to finish high school, Dad may run around the house getting stuff done. It actually makes a man feel better if he knows he is getting something done right away. He may tell the child to go clean his room, so that the child can get something to feel better.
The issue is not solved, or even delved into and the child ends up being more frustrated than he was before. That's why Mom is pounced on as soon as she gets home from work, or errand running. Kids need help with issues especially in today's ever changing world, and Moms are traditionally the ones that will listen and help solve the problem.
There are major differences between men and women. Moms just have that special something inside them that makes them good listeners and good problem solvers. Men are do-ers. They have to get something done to feel good about something. So, don't be surprised if Dad walks away while you are talking, picks up a remote or walks into the garage to grab a tool to fix something while you talk to him. He's listening, it just doesn't seem like it. Moms are better at this communication thing, than Dads are.
Learn more about this author, Kate Johns.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Father
by Cathy Wilson
Created on: December 08, 2010
For me it was my crazy old farmer dad that I communicated best with. But honestly it depends on the age, stage and situation. There are so many different factors that can steer you towards or repel you from one parent or another. It's very tough to generalize but one could likely say that it's the mother that seems to show more compassion, making communication easier. She's the one to hug and kiss you, listen to you when you're upset, understand your feelings. Or at least she seems to show it more.
On the flip side it is typically the father that you might go to for 'life' decisions, but he might be tougher to commuicate with because he's less emotional. You may talk with him about what you should study in school or which job is a good one. You may value his opinion on numerous life topics, but not the touchy-feely ones. The father tends to be the 'decider' in the family. The one you try to please as he sets the expectations. But for some reason the reward, whether it's a hug or a pat on the head, means so much more than the everyday praise our mother tends to give. It doesn't mean you love your mom any less, that's just how it is.
For me it was my dad who was my world. It's not that I didn't love and appreciate my mom, but I took to my dad. At the age of two he used to take me out the barn with him and put me in the chop bin (barn playpen) while he miked the cows. I loved it. I loved to 'help' him all the time. As I grew up I found I was always wanting to please him. It drove me to be the best at whatever I was doing. Whether I was playing hockey, baseball, basketball, or cleaning toilets. He instilled in me the desire to do everything to the best of my ability. He always recognized my efforts and rewarded me with a big hug and kiss or maybe even in ice-cream if I was lucky. My father always told me he was proud of me, even when I didn't do so hot, or I made a poor decision.
But along with this came pressure. I put huge amounts of it on myself to reach goals that were likely more for him than me. Of course I didn't know that at the time but now that I'm older I see that was likely the case. Relying a little too much maybe on what my dad would think or want and confusing that with what I really wanted.
Now the bond between child and parent is different with everyone, no two cases the same. I had four other siblings and each bonded differently with my mom and dad. My older sister with my mom. My first younger sister equally with both. My brother with my dad and my youngest sister a touch more with my dad. We were five opposites if you want to call it that!
So you see the communication between a child and their mom or dad is variable. Not black and white like a math problem. And I feel very lucky to communicate with both my parents, regardless on which one I do it with more. The fact of 'communication' being the key.
Learn more about this author, Cathy Wilson.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Write and get published
Share with other writers
Polish your freelancing skills
Quality articles from proven freelancers
Exclusive rights, fast turnaround
Brand engagement, business blogging -- our writers do it all
INFORMATION
Copyright © 2002-2012 Helium, Inc. All rights reserved.
Helium.com: A Service of RR Donnelley